Jan. 16th, 2013

apocalypsos: (i'm walking in the doorway)
I am just really, REALLY stressed out right now.

I wish I could just quit my job. It just doesn't pay enough and I can't afford to keep doing this. The job itself is fine, but the paychecks suck. And for all the resumes I've sent out for the past two months, I have gotten one call, unprompted, by one of those places that's an insurance sales scam. The whole situation is so stressful that I am having one of the worst low times regarding my depression that I've had in, like, a year. I've been struggling a LOT, not the least of which is with my writing, so that's part of the reason I haven't been able to send out "Monsters of Moosic" yet. I had to focus on getting close to quota and keeping my job through December, but now that I seem to be okay on that front, I've been pissed that I had to work my ass off to keep a job which is just making me feel awful.

School starts this week, which is making me feel somewhat better, but it's a small 'somewhat'. (Let's not even get into the fact that my online Health class teacher is very much "Let's start an exercise program and fight the obesity epidemic!". My depression-spawned fatigue and increased sleep patterns think your "obesity epidemic" can bite me.)

Oh, and I got a form rejection email from Harper Voyager the other day. Which is okay, really, because I've gotten rejection emails before, but I submitted two manuscripts and it didn't mention which one got rejected or if it's just supposed to be for both, so ... yeah, thanks, Harper. That helped. :|

I've been sitting here for the past twenty minutes trying to keep myself from having a panic attack -- it turns out reading the comments on a gun control article don't help with that; who knew? -- so I'm kind of drained. But I just needed to vent for a moment because if I didn't, I felt like I would fry a synapse or something.

Running away and joining the circus only works if you're Robert Pattinson, right? *sigh*

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