Apr. 29th, 2009

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8445 / 100000

That's chapter four done.

Tomorrow, chapter five, at least part of chapter six, and I'm going to come up with a goddamn title for this thing if it kills me.


Apr. 29th, 2009 07:53 am
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Spotted on Not Always Right:

(I’m a greenskeeper on a golf course and am doing some work on a green, moving the hole. I pull the pin (flag) out, which is the universal symbol for “the green is closed, don’t shoot”. As I’m doing my work, this happens…)

Member: “Fore on the green! Fore on the green!”

(I look up to see blue sky and a little white speck flying at me. I turn my back and the golf ball hits me square in my one good kidney. I drop like a bag of potatoes, and the member casually strolls up to the green.)

Member: “Are you ok?”

Me: “No, I need to get to a hospital, it hit my good kidney.”

Member: “What the h*** were you doing on the green? You’re not supp–”

Me: “Did you just hear me? I need an ambulance!”

Member: “Don’t interrupt me, you little a**hole! Now move so I can putt!”

(I grab my radio and get my superintendent, who rushes out in his cart on the phone with 911. After he hangs up, he turns to the member.)

Superintendent: “Didn’t you see the pin was down?! You could have killed him!

Member: “He shouldn’t be on the green during play! It’s his own fault!”

(They continue arguing for a few moments until the ambulance shows up. As the EMT is getting me on a stretcher, she asks the member…)

EMT: “If the pin was down, what were you aiming for?”

Member: “Him.”

Superintendent: “You aimed… for him?”

Member: “I figured he’d be close to the hole. I mean… the pin was down! I had to aim for something!”

Superintendent: “You’re a f***ing idiot!”

(I found out later that the member was kicked out of the country club, and his $50,000 initiation fee as well as his $15,000 yearly dues were not refunded.)
apocalypsos: (Default)
This, for those of you who haven't already heard it, is FX's definitely SFW dub of Samuel L. Jackson's classic line:

6 Characters You Didn't Know Were Shameless Ripoffs

Oink, oink! I'm a sneezy pig! God, I'm a terrible person. *headsmack*
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9864 / 100000

I just finished chapter five. Now I'm going to take a little break and start in on chapter six.

Still no title. Heh. Usually I've got one by now, and instead I'm pouring all my creativity into writing the damn thing. Hell, I'm certainly not going to complain about THAT. :)


Apr. 29th, 2009 09:31 pm
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I hope you're now as hungry as I am. Damn it.

In other news, I have no idea why I'm watching this episode of SVU. GYAH. Haven't I read enough news stories about cruel idiots today without dealing with fucking AIDS deniers in my Law and Order? *headdesk*


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tatty bojangles

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