I'm not familiar with the source of the foaming, but here's what I've learned.
Silence means 'no' unless clarified. It usually means the person is uncomfortable/scared/overwhelmed/mortified and feels pressured and unable to answer honestly, and none of these is an acceptable situation. So, assume 'no', and if you are corrected it is far less damaging than assuming 'yes'. If you aren't corrected, then it WAS DEFINITELY a 'no' and you have just averted disaster.
Any answer under coercion is 'no'. Period. Doesn't matter what the actual words are. If you are forcing them to answer, then it doesn't matter what they say because you are out of bounds in pressuring them or trying to get the answer you want, so no answer they give can be trusted as honest and truthful much less as consent. So, 'no'.
And this is how to keep fun sexy things out of court.
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Date: 2010-05-11 06:20 pm (UTC)Silence means 'no' unless clarified. It usually means the person is uncomfortable/scared/overwhelmed/mortified and feels pressured and unable to answer honestly, and none of these is an acceptable situation. So, assume 'no', and if you are corrected it is far less damaging than assuming 'yes'. If you aren't corrected, then it WAS DEFINITELY a 'no' and you have just averted disaster.
Any answer under coercion is 'no'. Period. Doesn't matter what the actual words are. If you are forcing them to answer, then it doesn't matter what they say because you are out of bounds in pressuring them or trying to get the answer you want, so no answer they give can be trusted as honest and truthful much less as consent. So, 'no'.
And this is how to keep fun sexy things out of court.