It's not even a pretty possible-dress. The color's not good on her, it gives her a bit of a muffin top, and that crisscrossing sort of top never makes anybody's boobs look good unless your name is Cher and Bob Mackie made it for you.

You know what it looks like? When I was a teenager and I knew I could sew pretty good, so I had these visions of becoming some trendsetter and I made a bunch of outfits that made me look like an idiot.