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apocalypsos) wrote2004-01-17 07:02 pm
apocalypsos) wrote2004-01-17 07:02 pm
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So, yeah. Went to the movies today, meaning to see "The Cooler" and "Monster" but ending up only seeing "The Cooler."
I got there too early for the 2:30 showings of both movies but too late for the noon showings, so I went and spent a good half-hour in the arcade playing "House of the Dead." You know, I'm usually not much into video games, but hand me a gun and tell me to blow away the undead and I'm so there. I like to think I'm like Buffy, but with more of an infatuation with seeing heads explode and a much less noticeable ability to crush men's hearts under my bootheels.
But anyway, played the game for a while, before this trio of adorable little boys came up wanting to play but not having any quarters or anything. My good deed for today was giving them my buck's worth of quarters I had left so that two of them could play for a few minutes, but I completely fucked up the good karma by buying popcorn ten minutes later and not telling the register jockey he gave me ten extra bucks back in change. At times like this, I like to picture God and Satan arguing over who gets saddled with me for all eternity when I croak. In my head, it always sounds like those "Well, she's your daughter" arguments my mother and father used to have when I got into trouble.
Oh, yeah, and while I was in the arcade, I picked up a pair of these little plastic LOTR busts out of the toy vending machines. It just goes to show you that I've spent waaaaay too much time associating with you people because I ended up with Boromir and Gimli, lamented the fact I didn't get a LOTR-slash-friendly pair of heads, then wondered whether or not I should write Boromir/Gimli porn just to rectify the situation. Of course, in my head, it goes something like this --
GIMLI: Aye, you're a hearty one, Boromir, and so devastatingly handsome! When this journey be over, I shall take you meet my cousins in the caves and ...
BOROMIR: *silence*
GIMLI: Boromir, my love?
*kicks a prone Boromir in the side, notices the multitude of arrows in his chest*
GIMLI: Hmph. If you didn't want my never-ending love, you could have just said so!
Aaaaaaand then Gimli goes off and has sex with Faramir, who gets severely depressed every time Gimli intimates Boromir was better in the sack, especially after he was dead. Which, of course, starts up a whole reel of puns involving getting shot full of arrows and Cupid and getting poked and eeegaaaaaah, I think I need to whack my brain with a rubber mallet.
(By the way, I'll never be writing LOTR fanfic. Right now, I've only seen the movies, and I wouldn't dare write LOTR fic unless I was writing it based off the books. And knowing me and what I've read out of the LOTR books, I'd be tempted to put songs in the stories. I should never be allowed to do this, because I tend to admittedly have a Mary Sue writer's taste in fic-related music. Granted, no one would start belting out Britney Spears songs, but I'd really want to spare people the mental image of Gandalf fronting the rest of the Fellowship in a rendition of The Darkness's "I Believe in a Thing Called Love". Gandalf in a white spandex jumpsuit ... *sighs* ... Happy nightmares, everybody!)
Anyway, "The Cooler". I've said how much I love William H. Macy, right? He's the funniest-looking famous guy I'd have sex with. And in the movie, you see ... well, maybe not the franks, but definitely the beans. Okay, so far this award season, I've seen Jack Nicholson's ass, Danny DeVito's naked rear, and William H. Macy's testicles. Please don't let me repeat that sentence, EVER.
But yeah, the movie rocked. For those of you out of the loop, William H. Macy plays a guy who's got such bad luck that he works for a casino "cooling" anyone who's winning. It's neat ... like Longshot, if Longshot weren't incredibly lame, just kinda dorky-looking. Then he falls in love with Maria Bello, and his bad luck turns good. The two of them make an adorably dysfunctional couple, and Alec Baldwin, who's the pit boss, does what's probably his best performance ever. Which is of the strange, because "Alec Baldwin" and "good performance" are antithetical.
Unsettling thought of the day: I was listening to Electric Six's "Gay Bar", which always makes me smile, and for some ungodly reason, I suddenly thought, "You know, George Bush isn't a half-bad porn name."
Admittedly, it's not as unerringly perfect a porn name as Hugh Jackman, but not everybody's parents are that cool.
I got there too early for the 2:30 showings of both movies but too late for the noon showings, so I went and spent a good half-hour in the arcade playing "House of the Dead." You know, I'm usually not much into video games, but hand me a gun and tell me to blow away the undead and I'm so there. I like to think I'm like Buffy, but with more of an infatuation with seeing heads explode and a much less noticeable ability to crush men's hearts under my bootheels.
But anyway, played the game for a while, before this trio of adorable little boys came up wanting to play but not having any quarters or anything. My good deed for today was giving them my buck's worth of quarters I had left so that two of them could play for a few minutes, but I completely fucked up the good karma by buying popcorn ten minutes later and not telling the register jockey he gave me ten extra bucks back in change. At times like this, I like to picture God and Satan arguing over who gets saddled with me for all eternity when I croak. In my head, it always sounds like those "Well, she's your daughter" arguments my mother and father used to have when I got into trouble.
Oh, yeah, and while I was in the arcade, I picked up a pair of these little plastic LOTR busts out of the toy vending machines. It just goes to show you that I've spent waaaaay too much time associating with you people because I ended up with Boromir and Gimli, lamented the fact I didn't get a LOTR-slash-friendly pair of heads, then wondered whether or not I should write Boromir/Gimli porn just to rectify the situation. Of course, in my head, it goes something like this --
GIMLI: Aye, you're a hearty one, Boromir, and so devastatingly handsome! When this journey be over, I shall take you meet my cousins in the caves and ...
BOROMIR: *silence*
GIMLI: Boromir, my love?
*kicks a prone Boromir in the side, notices the multitude of arrows in his chest*
GIMLI: Hmph. If you didn't want my never-ending love, you could have just said so!
Aaaaaaand then Gimli goes off and has sex with Faramir, who gets severely depressed every time Gimli intimates Boromir was better in the sack, especially after he was dead. Which, of course, starts up a whole reel of puns involving getting shot full of arrows and Cupid and getting poked and eeegaaaaaah, I think I need to whack my brain with a rubber mallet.
(By the way, I'll never be writing LOTR fanfic. Right now, I've only seen the movies, and I wouldn't dare write LOTR fic unless I was writing it based off the books. And knowing me and what I've read out of the LOTR books, I'd be tempted to put songs in the stories. I should never be allowed to do this, because I tend to admittedly have a Mary Sue writer's taste in fic-related music. Granted, no one would start belting out Britney Spears songs, but I'd really want to spare people the mental image of Gandalf fronting the rest of the Fellowship in a rendition of The Darkness's "I Believe in a Thing Called Love". Gandalf in a white spandex jumpsuit ... *sighs* ... Happy nightmares, everybody!)
Anyway, "The Cooler". I've said how much I love William H. Macy, right? He's the funniest-looking famous guy I'd have sex with. And in the movie, you see ... well, maybe not the franks, but definitely the beans. Okay, so far this award season, I've seen Jack Nicholson's ass, Danny DeVito's naked rear, and William H. Macy's testicles. Please don't let me repeat that sentence, EVER.
But yeah, the movie rocked. For those of you out of the loop, William H. Macy plays a guy who's got such bad luck that he works for a casino "cooling" anyone who's winning. It's neat ... like Longshot, if Longshot weren't incredibly lame, just kinda dorky-looking. Then he falls in love with Maria Bello, and his bad luck turns good. The two of them make an adorably dysfunctional couple, and Alec Baldwin, who's the pit boss, does what's probably his best performance ever. Which is of the strange, because "Alec Baldwin" and "good performance" are antithetical.
Unsettling thought of the day: I was listening to Electric Six's "Gay Bar", which always makes me smile, and for some ungodly reason, I suddenly thought, "You know, George Bush isn't a half-bad porn name."
Admittedly, it's not as unerringly perfect a porn name as Hugh Jackman, but not everybody's parents are that cool.