I had visions of you writing a fic that had Sam playing Dean and making him cry emo tears when his cheeseburger was medium rare instead of rare and having him basically behave like a walking erection with a tapeworm, but this works, too. :) I love Lucifer being all mopey and pathetically grateful with the gift baskets.

... he zones out watching Dean call the archangels fucking cock-knockers for the five thousandth time and starts contemplating if anyone would even notice if he took up knitting.
You definitely watched the Comic Con clip!

Sam plasters on an almost manic smile and thinks that Dean can't possibly hate his life nearly as much as he would if he knew what metallicutie and fuckmeanddie have been pretending they're doing in between hunts.
Of all the funny lines in this fic, this is the one that really got me. Fuckmeanddie--perfect.