I hate birds.

[apocalypsos]

• 19:03 Cat Rule #8: If Mom isn't feeling well + just hit the sack, now is the perfect time to sit on the arm of the couch and projectile vomit. #
• 20:07 "Your father," Morris declares, "didn't come home last night." #novelines from Heroine Addiction t.co/wVQmROe #
• 20:12 Fox edited Hoffa's pro-voting speech to make it look violent. Which is weird, b/c Fox thinks everyone voting is already a form of violence. #
• 20:15 @joe_hill Screw that. Where the fuck did the entire weekend go? #
• 20:25 My parents visited today and informed me my cat is fat. My cat's beer gut begs to differ. #
• 20:27 @jumblejim Reading your tweets tonight is making me feel like I'm following the dotted line across a map in an Indiana Jones movie. #
• 20:29 @sinnerforhire I don't know if his food is all THAT secure, what with all the puking. #
• 07:19 Palin said, "Polls are for strippers." I was too busy wincing at the misspelling involved in making that "witty" to make a sarcastic crack. #
• 07:24 @DeepakChopra @expatina @joshgroban Oh, look. It appears Deepak has an obligation to reduce rich human experience to raw insults. #
• 08:14 In an attempt to stop my panic attacks, I applied for a home-based job through my current place of employment. Let's see how that turns out. #
• 08:45 Please RT a link to my book + buy it if you can. It's only $2.99 and I kinda really need the money. :( t.co/LQHal6Z com/4xgt3s6 #
• 09:00 Please RT a link to my book + buy it if you can. It's only $2.99 and I kinda really need the money. :( (Link works now.) t.co/YHXghhh #
• 14:41 Calling homosexuality an important sin is like calling Mannequin 2 one of the biggest blockbusters ever. Neither come near the top 10. #
• 14:50 Who will be hosting the Oscars this year? Eddie Murphy, Eddie Murphy (in a fat suit), Eddie Murphy (in a dress), + Eddie Murphy (as a dog)! #
• 14:55 And just think - he was nominated for an Oscar only five short years ago. Ah, trust the Academy to strike when the iron's hot. #

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