apocalypsos: (headdesk)
tatty bojangles ([personal profile] apocalypsos) wrote2006-08-04 06:42 am

Fine, I'll tell you where the microfilm is, but you'll never find out the location of the treasure!

So, let's see.

First I was almost late for work because I was trying to cheer myself up by finishing a fic and didn't even get to finish editing it before I had to run out the door.

Then work SUCKED. Everything that could go wrong did, and yet again, they somehow talked me into taking more overtime.

Then I came home fully prepared to take out my garbage -- why I make jambalaya when it makes my garbage smell TERRIBLE after only a few hours, I'll never know -- only to trip off my front stoop and stumble so far I slammed my left shoulder into the road. And now it hurts.

That's it. I surrender.

*holds hands high*

*brings you the funny so you feel better*

[identity profile] cleobourne.livejournal.com 2006-08-04 11:14 am (UTC)(link)
I was in Wal-Mart buying a large bag of Purina for my Labrador Retriever and was in line to check out.

A woman behind me asked if I had a dog.

On impulse, I told her that no, I was starting The Purina Diet again, although I probably shouldn't because I'd ended up in the hospital last time, but that I'd lost 50 pounds before I awakened in an intensive care
ward with tubes coming out of most of my orifices and IVs in both arms.

I told her that it was essentially a perfect diet and that the way that it works is to load your pants pockets with Purina nuggets and simply eat one or two every time you feel hungry & that the food is nutritionally complete so I was going to try it again.

I have to mention here that practically everyone in the line was by now enthralled with my story, particularly a tall guy behind her.

Horrified, she asked if I'd been poisoned and was that why I was in the hospital.

I said no.....I'd been sitting in the street licking my balls and a car hit me.

I thought the tall guy was going to have to be carried out the door

[identity profile] girlwiththebook.livejournal.com 2006-08-04 06:08 pm (UTC)(link)
*tickles you*

[identity profile] expastic.livejournal.com 2006-08-04 06:22 pm (UTC)(link)
Oh noes!

*bandaids*