Fine, I'll tell you where the microfilm is, but you'll never find out the location of the treasure!

[apocalypsos]

So, let's see.

First I was almost late for work because I was trying to cheer myself up by finishing a fic and didn't even get to finish editing it before I had to run out the door.

Then work SUCKED. Everything that could go wrong did, and yet again, they somehow talked me into taking more overtime.

Then I came home fully prepared to take out my garbage -- why I make jambalaya when it makes my garbage smell TERRIBLE after only a few hours, I'll never know -- only to trip off my front stoop and stumble so far I slammed my left shoulder into the road. And now it hurts.

That's it. I surrender.

*holds hands high*

Comments

*brings you the funny so you feel better*

[cleobourne.livejournal.com]

I was in Wal-Mart buying a large bag of Purina for my Labrador Retriever and was in line to check out.

A woman behind me asked if I had a dog.

On impulse, I told her that no, I was starting The Purina Diet again, although I probably shouldn't because I'd ended up in the hospital last time, but that I'd lost 50 pounds before I awakened in an intensive care
ward with tubes coming out of most of my orifices and IVs in both arms.

I told her that it was essentially a perfect diet and that the way that it works is to load your pants pockets with Purina nuggets and simply eat one or two every time you feel hungry & that the food is nutritionally complete so I was going to try it again.

I have to mention here that practically everyone in the line was by now enthralled with my story, particularly a tall guy behind her.

Horrified, she asked if I'd been poisoned and was that why I was in the hospital.

I said no.....I'd been sitting in the street licking my balls and a car hit me.

I thought the tall guy was going to have to be carried out the door

Re: *brings you the funny so you feel better*

[astrothsknot.livejournal.com]

I can't top that, but...

I was in a shop the other day, looking at DVDs, when this little girl walks up to me, we chat for a little, before she mentions that she has new shoes. I look at her shoes. "They've got fairies on them," she says.

All I can see is pretty flowers, so I'm like yeah. She she must be pretending the flowers are the fairies.

"Are they hiding in the flowers?" I ask.

She looks at me like I've got two heads. "Don't be stupid. Everybody knows fairies are invisible."

Re: *brings you the funny so you feel better*

[cleobourne.livejournal.com]

*shnortle*

[girlwiththebook.livejournal.com]

*tickles you*

[expastic.livejournal.com]

Oh noes!

*bandaids*