there was a young woman from boobville ...

So I was talking to Jess last night about Breaking Dawn, which she's halfway through (Jacob just found out about Bella being pregnant). She was pretty enthusiastic about the first three books, but she's absolutely loathing this one. She hates the way it's set up with the POV switch in the middle, and she can't stand Bella anymore at ALL. And when I told her that the paternity question never gets answered, she had pretty much the same annoyed response I did, not surprising since she seems to like Jacob and the werewolves more than Edward and the vampires.

She doesn't have very high hopes for the ending of the book, either. I've said repeatedly how much I loathed it, and I think she finally agrees with me whole-heartedly on that. She hasn't brought the book to work the past few days, which says a lot since she breezed through the first three books and practically devoured them while at work. And we were busier at work when she was reading those. If I could get away with reading "The Encyclopedia of Serial Killers" last night, she could have gotten away with finishing the book there.

Oh, and she doesn't remember the time right after the book came out where I mocked "Renesmee," so she doesn't remember me telling her about the whole storyline. So, yeah, when she gets to that things should get really interesting. Heh.

*

I think I need a theme song for The Grand Prize Winner. I was going through the mix CDs in my car (most of which are scratched beyond all reason, because I'm the sort of moron who treats her CDs like garbage) and I found one that had a bunch of songs that I'd used as theme songs for my other novels. Like, "Wild" by Poe is the theme song for Dead Men In Dark Suits, and "Passive" by A Perfect Circle is the theme song for The Monsters Of Moosic, so ... yeah, need a theme song.

I seriously have to go through my MP3 player and find something before it goes kerflooey. If my laptop's on its last legs, my Zen is about five seconds away from a mini-nuclear explosion. The screen is almost shot. Damn it.

*

I'm so hungry. Somebody come to my house and make me a sandwich since I'm paralyzed from the knees down due to sleeping cat.

I just watched video of the Obamas making tuna salad from an old 60 Minutes interview. Apparently I'm running out of things to watch. Heh.

Oh, and I finished Breaking Dawn.

( Jesus punching a teddy bear, you guys, what the HELL. )

I need two thousand dollars worth of dental work. Two thousand dollars.

I'm not freaking out, surprisingly enough, possibly because two thousand bucks keels right over the line from "OMG WTF *CRIES*" territory into a number that mostly just makes my eyes bug out and then I giggle because ... seriously. Two thousand dollars. It's so sad that I'm like, "Oh, come ON. I'm never going to make THAT. Bwahahaha!" about two thousand bucks. It might as well be a million. Sheesh.

But, yes. I've got the cracked tooth and apparently the cavity I thought was in one tooth is in two, and I've got to call the oral surgeon to get my two wisdom teeth out. Meh. I'm really going to have to look for a part-time job, like, washing dishes in a restaurant or something. Just something monotonous I don't really have to think about.

*sigh* I'm not getting rich and famous nearly quickly enough for my liking.

*

Still haven't watched last night's Supernatural or this week's Gossip Girl. SPN can hold until tomorrow, and as for Gossip Girl ... well, hell, I think it's the Jenny stuff that's turning me off. Right now, I'm watching the 100 Scariest Movie Moments. (GAH. They just got to Poltergeist. Fuck, that movie scares the crap out of me. GYAAAH.) And then possibly T2 in preparation for NaNo at midnight.

NANO. WOOT. \o/

I need to come up with kickass chick music so I can have something vaguely resembling a soundtrack. Hmm.

*

I'm most of the way through Eclipse. In regards to Bella, I'd just like to express my complete disinterest and confusion over her personality or lack thereof in the immortal words of the great philosopher Heath Ledger, who said, "What is it with this chick? She got beer-flavored nipples?"

Seriously, y'all. WHAT THE FUCK. I not only don't get why either one of these guys is so freaking attractive (well, Jacob was for a minute, but that ended quick), I don't get what's the least bit interesting about her that five million boys are salivating over her. New hotness only lasts so long, presumably until the five hundredth offscreen gym-class faceplant.

And the studious avoiding of ever mentioning anything that might date it! Aw, it's so cute. I mean, I know there's a fine line between dropping so many pop culture references you'll be out of date in five minutes (House of Night books, anyone?) and being able to hang out in the spotlight longer but for crying out loud, people.

EDIT: I should probably add that I could see where the books could have been really great. I don't know if Smeyer thought having Jacob crack wise about Bella being in an abusive relationship meant it wasn't really uncomfortable and weird reading about Edward and Bella interacting after that (or before, really), but ... yeah.

Dear Bella Swan,

Repeat after me. Mom and Dad. MOM and DAD. Mom and Dad.

Good. Now try saying them all the time like a normal person.

Sincerely,

Me

(Well, hell, time to make a new tag, I guess.)