there was a young woman from boobville ...

Heroine Addiction:



Look, three-quarters of the way done! \o/

I'm still not done with the two chapters I have to get done before I can go to bed, but the good thing is that I can stay up late tonight and not worry since I have nowhere to go tomorrow. Or for the next four days after that. I think I'd have an easier time getting the chapter I'm currently working on done if I hadn't skipped around a lot at work and written bits here and there I wanted to get down, but hey, that means less work later on, right?

Anyway, I may actually be able to pull this off. WOOHOO. I will be so thrilled to get this manuscript done and out of the way, I swear to God. I've been working on Heroine Addiction for six months this week, and it feels like FOREVER.

*

Oh, and by the way, I apologize to anybody who's kinda sick of hearing me yammer on about writing. Here, let me give you a taste of what you came here for: Hardcore nudity! The jokes, the boykissing, and the fic.

Why did the chicken cross the road?

Because that's where the two hot roosters were making out.

The chicken brought popcorn, lube, and a video camera, and a good time was had by all.

You're welcome. :)

Heroine Addiction:



The Grand Prize Winner:



Fic (\o/):



July word count:



Year-to-date getyourwordsout count:



WOOHOO! I know I'm way behind where I should be with getyourwordsout but I'm really just thrilled to have cracked 100k. Even if I just keep going at this rate, I'll get 200k by the end of the year, which would make me ecstatic even if I don't hit my getyourwordsout pledge.

Oh, and I'm counting yesterday's fic to last month simply because the majority of it save the last section were written in July, so screw it. :D

My goal for today is to try and get the finished chapters of Heroine Addiction edited and out of the way so that I can get back to writing it. Then there's editing more Grand Prize Winner chapters to do and comments to respond to and other novels I want to look over and assess. I still have to go over that writer's guide for the Regency story and take notes and things. Ugh, I wish I would get a callback for a job already so I can stop feeling like I'm delusional for putting so much time into my writing. Le sigh.

Uh, there is none?

The creative part of my brain feels like a desert right now. Just completely barren. Absolutely nothing's been flowing lately. Consider my brain a wasteland. *headdesk*

Part of the reason I really hope that I get the warehouse job is that between the pay and the regular employment I think it'll do me a world of good in regards to my writing. Not having to worry about paying my bills or the fact that I've been making up excuses to get out of my house at this point -- I practically tripped over myself taking my parents up on their offer to go visit family in Massachusetts with them last weekend -- would be a nice change of pace. I can't believe I miss my last job a little at this point, if only because I had more social interaction and plenty of work time by myself to brainstorm, both of which helped my creativity immensely.

I tend to inadvertently tie a lot of my self-esteem into my writing, since it's the one thing I feel like I do well with any consistency, so when I'm not writing it makes me feel like shit, and that just makes things worse. The problem of putting it front and center is that I end up taking a lot of pride in people liking my stuff even though I pretty much completely shut down when people throw compliments my way and turn into the painfully shy geek I was in high school who can barely get a thankful word out even over the internet, and then when I slip into a dry spell I feel like nobody wants to be anywhere near me because, hey, who wants to waste time with her when she's not even that interesting without a pen in her hand?

Hence, longer dry spell. *sigh*

Currently, I'm struggling to squeeze out words on Heroine Addiction, which I spend a lot of time using to kick myself in the ass over by making grumbly self-deprecating comments about how it deserves a writer who's not in severe need of mental repair. I think I may need to redo my outline for the rest of the chapters in a bit more detail to get going there. Trying to edit The Grand Prize Winner is making me go cross-eyed, so I can't even imagine how blind I'd go working on Dead Men In Dark Suits or the Books of Boggs. And there's Blood Red Carpet and Chapter and Curse to work on but can't. I'd be tempted to just write time-stamp ficlets or something based on my novels just to attempt to generate something, but even that much feels like trying to squeeze blood from a stone.

The one thing I was looking forward to when I got laid off was the free time to work on my writing, and that's sort of gone directly down the toilet. So basically, the one thing that inevitably picks me up when I'm sad or depressed is letting me down. Urgh.

You know, it's times like this that I go and do stupid stuff like buy bacon-flavored gumballs. (What? They're bacon-flavored.)

Untitled:



That's chapter four done.

Tomorrow, chapter five, at least part of chapter six, and I'm going to come up with a goddamn title for this thing if it kills me.

Untitled:



Oh, my God, you guys, don't distract me. This is the most I've written in a MONTH.

You know what I think is helping? With the past couple of stories I've been working on, I've been really worried about getting other people's opinions on them. With this one, I'm just trying to WRITE the damn thing. Maybe I'll let someone read it after I hit 10k. Maybe. ;)

But now I'm off to make myself dinner and then watch the finales of Chuck and Heroes. Eh, Gossip Girl can wait.

Untitled story:



And now I'm going to eat dinner and then write some more. Did you hear that, people? I'm going to write more. \o/

I need to come up with a title. It'll make things go faster for me. Hmm.

EDIT: My brother's been in Maine this weekend meeting some girl he met online, and they went down to Boston today. He saw Jennifer Garner shopping somewhere. How does he DO that? I never see anyone famous.

Oh, right, I'm regularly too broke to leave my house. Never mind.

So last night I don't know what the hell I did to myself in my sleep, but my right shoulder is so sore I can barely move it and my tummy is KILLING me. Basically I've spent the entire day on the couch with a Thermacare patch alternating between my shoulder and tummy and curled up under my electric blanket. And what with all the heat, the cat won't stop curling up on my legs. Aside from the annoying pain, I'm comfy.

Also, there's this.

Current word count of Blood Red Carpet:



I don't effin' KNOW.

I do know that I want Chinese food, though, but I feel like crap and no one will go get it for me, so I guess I'll just have to live without it. DAMN IT.

So far this morning I have:

1. Printed out calenders for the rest of the year so I can figure out Mary's entire first semester of school for The Hollow Girl.
2. Printed out a random course list so I can plan out what classes she's taking.
3. Started looking for a map of the area to NO NO WTF WHY IS THE POWER GOING OUT AAARRRRRGGGGH.

And it's NOT Monday? Oh, come on.

I am getting waaaay too much done on this. It's a little weird, actually. I never get this much done before starting a book. Huh. (Okay, technically I have the first three chapters done. Close enough.)

Current word count of GPW (goal adjusted for new planned end):

109,178 / 115,000 (94.9%)

Chapters done on GPW:



Day 59 on my getyourwordsout pledge:

26,529 / 300,000 (8.8%)

Dude, I don't even care that I'm behind on my GYWO count. I got one more chapter done, and that's good enough for me for today.

Of course, the real test will be if I can manage to get the other two done before I'm supposed to go out to the bar with Jess on Monday night. I told her I'd only go if I finished the whole damn thing so I could celebrate, SO. *rubs hands together in anticipation*

(Also, I got a shit-ton of planning done for The Hollow Girl the other night at work. I forgot how having twelve hours to let my brain wander helped me write. ;))

Current word count of GPW:

105,093 / 100,000 (105.1%)

Current word count of Nearly Departed:

5,945 / 100,000 (5.9%)

Day 47 of my getyourwordsout pledge:

22,444 / 300,000 (7.5%)

I'm sick of not being able to write, y'all. I feel like I broke something and I'm waiting for the bone to heal and it just WON'T.

Tonight I'm resorting to putting a dent in a six-pack of Smirnoff Grape, which ... let's face it, is never a good sign. Urgh.

Current word count for GPW:

103,281 / 100,000 (103.3%)

Chapters written:



So ... that happened, I guess.

You know what I think my problem is? I think it's because I'm just trying to get done with the first draft, and I started writing this stupid thing a year ago and it bothers me that I haven't gotten it done yet, but at the same time ALL I can see is the revisions I'm going to have to make. There will definitely be revisions. I already can see the problems. I know where I'm going to be slashing things and adding things and cutting things and my brain is like, "Why are you trying to write stuff you know you're going to have to trash it later?" without taking into consideration that there is tons of stuff in the book that'll get altered all to hell that I adore and is vital and I'm at that point where I love it but I don't even like it anymore and LOOK I'M JUST A BIG STRESS BALL, OKAY?!

*headdesk*

Also, I hate that I'm beginning to suspect that the only reason I got anything written today is because I've been listening to opera for four straight hours. On the plus side, if I played by the rules right now I'd be in gym at work. So there's that.

Fuck it. I'm going to go play Faux!Wii tennis for a while.

I need someone to come to my house and shake me. Like, literally. Internet-shaking just isn't cutting it anymore.

I haven't written a damn thing since Saturday. And it's not like I don't have any story ideas to work with. I've got twenty in my file right now. I am just having the hardest time either writing on the stuff I've already gotten started or starting something new. I feel like there is a blank slate in my head and nobody's bothering to walk up and write anything on it.

Where are my creative monkeys, you guys? I think Jeff from Top Chef borrowed all of my creative monkeys and his creative monkeys riled them up and now they won't shut up and this is why we both have problems.

In related news, Bravo decided that instead of rerunning most of this season of TC like they do before a new episode, today they mostly played Millionaire Matchmaker. Quite frankly, I'd rather scrape my eyeballs with a fork.

Hell, maybe I'll play with my Faux!Wii. I couldn't justify spending all that money on a Wii when I need a new desktop or bills paid off more, but there was a fifty-dollar version at Dollar General that only have seven sports games on it and you can't get any more and the graphics look like NES-era cheese. In essence, it's crap by anyone else's standards but works just fine by mine. I'm hooked on the tennis already.

Current word count on GPW:

101,249 / 100,000 (101.2%)

Current word count on Nearly Departed:

5,563 / 100,000 (5.6%)

Day 31 of my getyourwordsout pledge:

17,353 / 300,000 (5.8%)

If I do compete in NaNoWriMo this year -- which I want to, but I wanted to keep up to the non-NaNo word count for each month just to make sure -- I should be at 22,700 words by the end of the day. Considering my writer's block, I don't expect myself to make the non-NaNo word count of 25k without a miracle. Quite frankly, at this point I'll just be happy to crack 20k, which really isn't that far behind.

Okay, back to work.

EDIT: ( To make up for the word count meters, here is a picture of Fabio from Top Chef dressed up like Wonder Woman. )

Current word count for GPW:

97,339 / 100,000 (97.3%)

Day 22 of my getyourwordsout pledge:

13,303 / 300,000 (4.4%)

Wow, I thought I was much further behind in my getyourwordsout pledge. That's not so bad. It's certainly not completely insurmountable. I'm only something like two or three thousand words behind, I think.

Current word count of GPW:

97,339 / 100,000 (97.3%)

I just want to crack 100k tonight. That's all I ask. It won't be the end of what I need to write by any means, but it's the hurdle I've been looking at with this book for almost a year now and I just ... yeah.

*fidgets*

Okay, I need to go get food before I starve.

Oh, sweet fucking tap-dancing Christ, I'm exhausted. Really ridiculously exhausted. My body completely forgot how to work a twelve-hour night shift, to the point where I was so tired this morning I nearly drove off the road. Faaaaabulous.

I'm trying not to think about the rumors I heard around the place last night. They haven't come true yet so I'm hoping these won't come true either. But basically what we're hearing now is that the main company wants to cut jobs and the local place is trying to keep as many people as possible until we get busy again by rotating the two-week layoffs. My aim right now is to resist the temptation to use my shiny new personal days at all, take the layoffs when I can, and hope they don't shut the plant down. God, this entire situation sucks on toast. Someone remind me to buy a Powerball ticket before I go to work. Maybe all of the bad luck I've had my entire life has accrued some sort of good-luck surplus in my name somewhere and I'll luck into $150 million. Hell, at this point I'd take $150.

I just saw a commercial for the Moonlight DVDs. Heh. All I think of when I see that is that chick who stole all that money from the Moonlight fans.

I need a haircut in the worst way. I'm trying to grow it out again but I really want to trim it up this time so it looks less like a rat's nest as it grows, and I can't afford to run to the salon every couple of months to neaten it up right now. Yuck. Oh, and I bought red hair dye a few weeks back and I still haven't done my hair again. Actually, I haven't done it in a long time, so most of the red's grown out. I think I'm putting it off until I get a trim. Yeah, that'll probably be sitting in my bathroom for a while.

Someone needs to keep me the hell away from the clothing section at Etsy. I am particularly not allowed to buy this no matter how happy it makes me just that it exists.

Also, writing! I should do some. I probably will not get any done today, thanks to the dryer debacle which I can't even recall right now if I told you guys. (Basically, boiled down -- my mom bought me my cousin's old dryer, she asked me to have my landlord take my old non-working dryer out, I ask the landlord, he says sure and asks when my dad wants his help, my mom says just to make sure it's out and my dad will install the other one later, my landlord says ... look, whatever, it doesn't matter, these people are friends, why am I the one playing phone tag aside from the fact that it's my apartment? BAH.) I could be working on the novel I have to finish or the stories I still have to work on, but instead I'm killing time until the landlord shows. On the plus side, I forgot how having so much time at work to let my mind wander lets me play creatively with new ideas. I have an idea for another story. It might not work out. I still have to carve out the details. But it's good. It's really good. There's a library and strong women who aren't skinny shopaholics or ripped asskickers and my usual hopeless addiction to urban fantasy. I like it bunches even now, at its barest bones. I seriously hope it'll polish up nice.

In other news, my mom's doing a fabulous job of keeping my goody bag away from me until I finish The Grand Prize Winner. I have a frightening suspicion that she might ask me to prove I finished, which ... eh, maybe not so much, it's my first draft, I don't feel comfortable being anywhere near it, much less letting anyone else look at it right now when it's a mess.

And here's Keith Olbermann, alternately depressing me and making me giddy that Tuesday's rapidly approaching:

( Eight years in eight minutes )

Good cheesy Lord, we're getting rid of that jackass. FINALLY. \o/

EDIT: The Discovery Channel is about to talk to me about a robot apocalypse. Life's wonderful sometimes, isn't it?

... the more I can't stop giggling as I picture the faces the reporters must have been making as he spoke.

Anyway.



I could finish one more if I didn't feel like I was about to faceplant directly into the keyboard, but I'll just save it for tomorrow. It's one fewer than it was when I woke up, and that's the important thing.

Current word count for GPW:

90,636 / 100,000 (90.6%)

Day nine of my getyourwordsout pledge:

6,600 / 300,000 (2.2%)

EDIT: Hey! When did it go from "we're only getting a couple of inches of snow tomorrow!" to "stay the fuck indoors, we're getting a foot of the white stuff!"? Where was I?! *sigh*

Current word count for The Grand Prize Winner:



Day four in my getyourwordsout pledge:



I'm going to finish at least one chapter tonight, that's for sure. It's the most I've gotten done in the last few days. Maybe I should spend the entire day buzzed on mixed drinks more often. ;)

I'm trying not to worry too much about the details, because when I'm done with the first draft, there's tons I need to tweak and fix and whatnot. But for right now, it's just about getting the first draft done. Now that I have toys to play with when I finish, I'm encouraged. \o/

I've been watching Doctor Who episodes while I write. It's been so long since I've watched all of these. I forgot how much I liked Nine.

I have gotten pretty much nothing done today no matter how hard I try. *sigh*

I think I'm right at the point in writing where it would be better if I had something to look forward to when I was done other than ... you know, a finished book. I was going to just buy myself some clothes but I got so many new things for Christmas it just doesn't seem special enough, I guess. (Which I should have seen coming, I suppose. *shrugs*)

I have the first season of True Blood and Slumdog Millionaire on my computer right now but I can hold off on watching them until I'm done unlike something I'm absolutely craving to play with. With the first book it was the first season of Arrested Development that I made ye olde roommate hold onto until I was done. This time ... eh. I honestly can't think of one thing I desperately want other than, like, Jensen wrapped up in a big bow in my bedroom while holding a triple chocolate cheesecake in one hand and a book contract in the other. Somebody get on that for me, because there's no way in hell I can manage to get myself THAT.

Somebody yell at me to write? That might help. *pouts*

I am in a really good place right now. A REALLY good place. Here's how it's looking:

-- There's still a lot to do. BUT.
-- There are at least two if not three chapters I can done tomorrow in about an hour each.
-- I have a great deal done on most of the other chapters I have left to write, enough so that I string in the dialogue and get those chapters done fairly quickly.
-- There are two chapters I have absolutely nothing for. My plan right now is to step away from the computer, grab a pen and a notebook, and write out the dialogue for them.
-- I will probably not finish the book tomorrow, considering the most I've ever written in one day is 10k. However, I'm at the point where if I play my cards right, I can get it finished on the first. No, seriously.

*fidgets happily*

Is it time for my six days in a row off yet? *rubs temples*

I have not eaten dinner yet. I'm going to go do that and then see what I can do about pushing myself to get another chapter done tonight.

It's like I figured. The boss just called me to offer me a layoff and pretty much told me that if I hadn't said yes, I probably would have gotten mandated anyway since nobody else was willing to take this week off. Considering I don't plan on going anywhere or doing anything other than write for the next week, this shouldn't be a problem about whether I can afford it or not, especially since this now means I'll only be working three days for the rest of the month and so I'll maybe be spending twenty bucks on gas and thirty bucks on food what with the holidays. And if my grandfather gives me money for Christmas AND I end up getting a refund for that necklace for my mom that never made it here, I really won't have a problem.

Ahem. So, my schedule for the day looks like this:

1. Finish outline for DMIDS.
2. Add a thousand words to Nearly Departed.
3. Finish a chapter of GPW.
4. Tear down the DMIDS wallpaper and put up new brown paper for a Hollow Girl outline.
5. Eventually get up from the couch for something other than using the bathroom or raiding the fridge.
6. Become rich, acquire superpowers, fuck Jensen Ackles. (What? It's not like I've got a good history of finishing things on lists. Why not reach for the sky?)

Also, TWoP recommended Let The Right One In (a Swedish coming-of-age vampire romance) as a better alternative to Twilight, so I'm downloading it to see if they're right. That can be my present to myself if I manage to get more than one of the things on that list done. HA! Shyeah, right.

EDIT: *checks Yuletide website* Fourteen hundred people have to post their stories in six days?! Oh, man, that website's gonna craaaaaaaash.

( The Grand Prize Winner, word count and chapters finished )

So basically I've got half of the chapters done and only thirty-five thousand words to go until I'm theoretically done. I'm going to go eat something and make food for work (damn it) and then I'm going to come back and see if I can make more of a dent in the word count.

I just ... I wish I had someone here who gives a shit if I finish, you know? It's one thing to get encouragement online which, don't get me wrong, is great, really ... but if I finish this by the end of the year the celebration's just going to be me and a six-pack of Smirnoff. I really should see about getting myself an actual "Yay! I finished!" present. The one I got for myself to encourage myself to finish The Monsters of Moosic worked like a charm.

The Grand Prize Winner:

61,479 / 100,000 (61.5%)

Okay, now I'm up to the chapter where I stalled when I was still writing the chapters in order. Let's see if I can handle nailing a few more chapters before I crack.

I'm going to go check and see if the mail's come yet and then I'm going to sit my butt down in this chair and not stop writing until I hit 70k. It'd be a lot easier if I could stop myself from checking my word count every ten damn minutes, for the record. *sigh*