Five Reasons You'll Hate The Movie "Twilight"

[apocalypsos]

5 Reasons You'll Hate The Movie 'Twilight' -- powered by Cracked.com

Comments

Editing because I cannot make a user tag work.

[channonyarrow.livejournal.com]

Okay, A) Bit with Dracula to Carry On My Wayward Son? COMEDY GOLD. FUNNIEST THING EVER.

And B) Anne Rice's books don't sell that well. I hate this misconception in the fringes of the publishing industry that she makes just absolute bank (this can be a rant where Laurell Hamilton is subbed in, as well) so we should do EXACTLY LIKE SHE DOES. Her Christ book, released last month, is only 857 on B&N's sales charts.

I realise that Breaking Dawn has a movie coming out this week, and that that is spiking sales, but at the same time, THAT book, which we all know because we have watched Cleolinda read and recap at her own peril is crap, is ranked number 9.

I'm kind of not proving my point, except for how my ACTUAL point is that people need to quit thinking that readers think that Anne Rice (or Laurell Hamilton) are the greatest publishing phenoms since Gutenberg - they're really, really not, and paranormal romance is the new Sarah Palin.

Re: Editing because I cannot make a user tag work.

[isabeau.livejournal.com]

Okay, A) Bit with Dracula to Carry On My Wayward Son? COMEDY GOLD. FUNNIEST THING EVER.

AGREED. I totally died. heeee.

Re: Editing because I cannot make a user tag work.

[faith21.livejournal.com]

Thirded. I giggled so much I had to pause the video.

Re: Editing because I cannot make a user tag work.

[tv-elf.livejournal.com]

Fourthed... err, you know... I kinda scared my dog when that hit.

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[slashfairy.livejournal.com]

i take the fifth [spot] to say YES FTW! best use of Wayward Son in a decade.

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[bleedingsand.livejournal.com]

Anne Rice, no. Her Christ books never even touched the bestsellers at Borders. But Laurell K Hamilton ALWAYS hits the bestsellers. Always. I got a lot of acting practice every time a new LKH book came out and they'd be on the major new table or bestseller table. And Karen Marie Moning? IIRC, Faefever was on the bestseller run as well. Paranormal romance sells VERY well.

Re: Editing because I cannot make a user tag work.

[channonyarrow.livejournal.com]

The sell-in is enormous, agreed. I've never seen sell-through figures that would support that the books should be imitated at all costs, though.

Part of my annoyance with them is that in my last job as an editor, I was supposed to launch a paranormal romance line, and it took a lot of arguing before I talked them out of, basically, a fairly suicidal course of action (partly this was their knowledge of their demographic). And then they managed to fuck up anyway, so I have a lot of annoyance there.

[deirdre-c.livejournal.com]

Oh god. I just got suckered into agreeing to go see this. *weeps*

[apocalypsos.livejournal.com]

I got Jess to read the books and she loves them. Then again, she seems to have blocked out the conversation we had right after BD came out where I ranted about the awful writing.

We're going to see it separately because she thinks I'm going to ruin it for her. Which ... heh, fair enough, considering I may go for a death wish and wear my "Bella Swan is a smug self-centered twit and Edward Cullen is a creepy sparkly stalker" shirt.

[medalline]

I terribly want that shirt. My sister is in high school and whenever her friends come over all I hear about is how great the Twilight series is. *weeps*

[theliel.livejournal.com]

Tell them you liked it better when it was called the Chronicles of Narnia.

It'll prolly burn thier brains.

also, the shirt, it is awesum.
if the wife hadn't just got handed 2 'extra' weeks of unpaid time off i would pick one up.

[squee1123.livejournal.com]

ah, yes. i like to think that its not the ACTING that's bad...but the material they have to work with.

[affectingly.livejournal.com]

I dieeed when Carry On My Wayward Son came on. Either he's a closet SPN fan, or God loves the fangirls. BWAAAHAHAHA.

Also, I cannot WAIT to see this shit. I'm actually driving an hour so I can go to the midnight release with my best friend. We want to be among the first to MOCK. \o/

[laurelin-kit.livejournal.com]

He has no idea. None. It is so much worse than that, Cracked dude. You can't even imagine how bad it can get.

Obligatory Reference

[theliel.livejournal.com]

I don't know, I can imagine alot.

[phaballa.livejournal.com]

That is amazing. The end.

[wiredwizard.livejournal.com]

=collapses laughing madly=

I think that now every time I see Dracula come up in a movie, Carry On My Wayward Son will play in the soundtrack that runs in the back of my head..

I'm just glad there's no-one who can talk me into going to see this movie. I only see movies w/ 2 people any more, and neither would be caught =ded= seeing it.

[moonpupy.livejournal.com]

This has *totally* *ruined* Carry on My Wayward Son for a serious SPN song. Pure and total ruinage.

Now it's Dracula mockage. With sniggering and snorting.

::dies laughing::

[exsequar.livejournal.com]

AHAHAHAH. Carry on my wayward son! The "facial expression"! The TRAILER ITSELF! Thank you for showing me the only possible way I could stand watching this trainwreck of a trailer. *shudders* You know, in this country, we elect Obama, but we also obsess over Edward Cullen. *HANDS*

[exsequar.livejournal.com]

Also? All of Anne Rice's vampires are GAY. Lololol. TRUER WORDS.

[escritoireazul.livejournal.com]

I started weeping with laughter at "Carry On My Wayward Son". That whole thing is comedy gold, though. Thank you for sharing it!

New Wonderella perfectly on point...

[theliel.livejournal.com]

http://www.graphicsmash.com/comics/wonderella.php