apocalypsos | If anybody wants me I'll be over here melting into a puddle.

If anybody wants me I'll be over here melting into a puddle.

Last night before I left for work I put on some stupid Lifetime movie while I was getting dressed. It was probably a bad move since it had me irritated for the rest of the night.

Okay, so, the movie. It was about this teenage mom, straight-A student, dressed like a preppy, seemingly (I only saw about twenty minutes of the movie right in the middle, so I'm not sure what came beforehand) only had sex with one guy what sounded like just the once and got pregnant. The scene that bugged the hell out of me was one in which she was walking into school with her sister and these girls started cough-whispering, "Slut," and, "Whore," girls who later on were shown to be a closer definition of either term than the main character was.

And dude, seriously, it's not like I didn't go to high school -- with real teenage girls, no less! -- so it's not like I don't know the kind of bitchy behavior teenage girls (and women in general, honestly) will resort to. But all that came to mind was:

MAKE UP YOUR FUCKING MIND, WORLD.

I'm a slut if I have sex. At all. EVER. Especially if I get caught, and by caught I mean "pregnant." Or if I catch AIDS or an STD. It doesn't matter if I get talked into one sexual encounter with a guy who I don't know has been seducing every woman who walks past him, I'm still the slut. Babies are wonderful and motherhood is as American as apple pie, but apple pie can usually be found to be a total whore depending on the circumstances.

I'm a slut if I enjoy sex. At all. EVER. The only thing I should be thinking about when I sleep with someone is babies -- you know, like guys do.

I'm a slut if I'm walking up to the front door of an abortion clinic because my father knocked me up, because four guys drugged me, locked in a room at a party and took turns with me, because I have the gall to worry about providing for the two kids I already have. As soon as the cells divide in my uterus that thing in there is way more important than me and has a right to life, except if it turns out to be a girl and I encourage her to go into obstetrics and gynecology -- then it's a crap shoot.

I'm a slut if I get pregnant and decide to get an abortion because I must do it all the time, since there are lots of women who love spending large amounts of money repeatedly on their birth control. I'm a slut if I get pregnant and give it up for adoption because I obviously don't care enough about the kid to keep it and probably wanted to sell it anyway, although those nice people in the picket lines outside the clinic were the ones to suggest it. I'm a slut if I get pregnant and decide to keep it, unless I have a father for it on standby, except if he's not the baby's real father and he turns out to be a jerk who knocks me up again and then leaves. Now I've got two babies by two different fathers and I'm REALLY a slut.

I'm a slut even though I'm almost a thirty-year-old virgin because I'm not waiting for marriage, I'm just waiting for someone who's not an asshole, because every time someone talks about sex I don't put my fingers in my ears and sing at the top of my lungs, because I like porn and have more kinks than a bag of curly fries, because all of that means I'm not even good enough at being a virgin for that politician from South Dakota who thinks I'd be a lot better at it if I were willfully ignorant, thirteen, and gang-raped by five guys with a broom and a beer bottle over a week.

I'm a slut if I'm fictional and hanging out in scenes with your favorite male character, even if I'm never seen sleeping with anyone and he sleeps with anything with a hole in it and has been in a canon threesome.

I'm a slut if we're both wearing the same tight jeans and tank top but you don't like me.

I'm a slut if we're friends and I date your ex-boyfriend, even though he's your ex, he's a good guy and the two of you never got along anyway because he was yours first, damn it!

I'm a slut because sluts do it for fun and whores do it for money, and at least whores only want your money and go away when you pay them.

I'm a slut if it turns out I'm a lesbian because all homosexuals are nymphomaniacs and all women are begging for sex so two women together must be REALLY slutty, and maybe we'll make out for you, and if not I'm still slutty but clearly I hate men so all I probably need is some serious deep-dicking.

I'm a slut if I commit to someone but we never get married, because all marriages like that of my one uncle and his ex-wife last forever but committed couples like my uncle and his boyfriend of twenty-seven years (now husband of the last few months) mean nothing.

I'm a slut if I wear a sundress or heels or makeup or anything more revealing than a sheet over my head or bother to shave my legs or style my hair, because it's clear I'm doing all of this so some random man on the street will offer to fuck me.

I'm a slut if we've both had sex with the exact same number of men but one of them was a guy you wanted.

I'm a slut if I look really hot in my bikini.

But I'm also a prude because I'm almost a thirty-year-old virgin and obviously there's got to be something wrong with me, because I spent three miserable years in college and didn't get laid because I was too busy trying not to have a nervous breakdown, because when we're in a conversation and you stare at my tits or my ass I'm offended, because beyond all human comprehension I don't want to fuck you.

Seriously, MAKE UP YOUR FUCKING MIND, WORLD.

And before someone shows up in the comments and says, "Did you NOT know the world was like this, Jenn?", of course I did, dumbass, but you never see me vent about it, do you? ;P

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A-FUCKING-MEN.

Agreed.

THANK YOU. I cannot stand it when people call others "sluts" for things that, quite frankly, would be completely acceptable if applied to men. Or (like you said) when it's completely non-applicable, such as all that "but he was mine FIRST" whining nonsense. It's ridiculous and irritating, and it just proves that women cannot fucking win sometimes.

(and I like to read your venting; it generally coincides with mine, and you say it better. :D)

May I link to this?

Yeah, sure, go ahead. :)

That is so weird... I had half-written almost this exact same rant last night, after watching the sixteen-thousandth crime drama scene with sex crime detectives bemoaning the permanent sub-citizenhood of a rape victim and getting inexplicably pissed off.

You wrote it much better than I did, though. ^.^

And the worst part is that ninety percent of people DO think this way, but will never admit that they think this way, let alone that it makes NO SENSE, and that even people who consider themselves liberal and intelligent and progressive have these thoughts conditioned into them by the greater moronic culture that says all girls are inferior, and therefore, if they step outside the lines, it's a hundred times worse than if a guy does it.

And now I go away before I get worked up to full rant pitch again. Seriously. WTF, world.

THANK YOU, for god's SAKE.

Yeah, we're all sluts to the world, no matter what. It really, really sucks, and I hate it.

Thank you for writing and sharing this.

Loud and proud, honey. "Slut" is the most ambiguous insult to ever exist.

Word. Even worse? I know some people who call women sluts like it's a good thing and don't understand what's so bad about it.

This makes me wish I had a Jo icon for this comment but Jess will have to do.

Well, some friends of mine and I declared "slutty whore" to be a term of endearment. It was, I believe, because of the redundancy.

But we don't wander about saying that to just anyone. Only them as gets the joke.

Oh yeah, one of the many damned-if-you-do-or-don't traps laid out for women.

I have a theory that a lot of this stems from the US having been (and still being!) a Puritan nation. 'Cause if you want to deal with teen mothers, support them. Help them go to school if they want, enable them to stay home and raise their kids if they want, educate them on how not to get pregnant again. But there's a strong urge in the US to punish. So all that would be too easy. And wouldn't you then be *encouraging* teen sex ('cause that needs encouraging)?!

The US wants more to punish rather than prevent: see the death penalty, anti-choice legislation, welfare programs that have mothers spending 4 hours bussing to and from work so they rarely see their children. The idea that you might "sin" and not be made to suffer seriously bothers a lot of people.

And, yeah, it's not just the US but it's among the worst for this and I think it's 'cause of the Puritan base of the culture. And 'cause I'm a product of it so I can say so. ;)

. And wouldn't you then be *encouraging* teen sex ('cause that needs encouraging)?!

Goddess knows I didn't need any encouragement when I was a teenager. ::laughs::

(no subject)

beoweasel.livejournal.com - 2007-07-10 10:55 (UTC) - Expand

*hands you a big slice of word cake with frosted word icing and WORD across the top in sprinkles*

Motherfucking WORD, darlin'.

I'm a slut if I get pregnant and decide to get an abortion because I must do it all the time, since there are lots of women who love spending large amounts of money repeatedly on their birth control.

Seriously, where the FUCK does this attitude come from? "No, naturally I didn't think of using a one dollar condom or the thirty bucks a month of birth control pills first since if I had, you know, those NEVER FAIL. I decided to drop down five hundred bucks and get my uterus actually, literally, SCRAPED OUT as my first resort."

I'm a slut if I enjoy sex. At all. EVER. The only thing I should be thinking about when I sleep with someone is babies -- you know, like guys do.

*snickers* Do you ever find it surprising that the states with the most misogynistic laws are also the ones who crack down the hardest on sex toys? Yeah, me neither.

I'm a slut if I'm fictional and hanging out in scenes with your favorite male character, even if I'm never seen sleeping with anyone and he sleeps with anything with a hole in it and has been in a canon threesome.

Well, yeah. And let's not forget-if he walks around without his shirt, that's a moment worthy of whipping out the VHS and salivating. But Jo's three-inch strip of midriff, goddamn. How do they even let that girl go out in public?

I'm a slut if I wear a sundress or heels or makeup or anything more revealing than a sheet over my head or bother to shave my legs or style my hair, because it's clear I'm doing all of this so some random man on the street will offer to fuck me.

This one almost deserves another motherfucking word entirely on its own. Dear World: if I wanna wear my red lipstick, it's because I wanna. Not because I'm obviously out hunting for dick. And if I am hunting for dick, I'll kindly let you know. If I say no, back off, that means FUCKING BACK OFF, because I am an adult who knows my own desires-not a little girl, no matter how much a lot of you want to make me out to be.

I'm a slut if I wear a sundress or heels or makeup or anything more revealing than a sheet over my head or bother to shave my legs or style my hair, because it's clear I'm doing all of this so some random man on the street will offer to fuck me.

I actually get more grief about this from other women. I wore a tank top and cute red heels to work today and you'd think I was going out to blow the police department (I work in a court) afterwards.
Look, just because you're jealous that I look better in it, doesn't mean you have to hate, okay?

(no subject)

ficangel.livejournal.com - 2007-07-12 00:33 (UTC) - Expand

(no subject)

faith21.livejournal.com - 2007-07-12 02:21 (UTC) - Expand

Exactly.

I wish I could put it this coherently when my mother asks me why I'm upset when she off-handedly refers to 'these girls' who 'get themselves pregnant.'

*Hugs sadly*

Haven't you heard? Asexual human reproduction is all the rage now among teens. *eyeroll*

(really wish I had a icon with Dean's "It takes two to have the hard core sex" quote)

Heh. Was the lifetime movie that 17 and Pregnant movie? With the red headed girl? Kids were named Jacey and Macey and she has a son and her mom wants to name him Chase?

Because that movie makes me violent. Ive never actually seen the whole thing. But the mom makes me SO MAD.

also..WORD on this whole post.

Yup, that was the one. The mother was pissing me off mostly because she was the one carting the kid around and taking care of it. All I could think about was the kid in my brother's class who's the son of a friend of our family, who knocked up a girl in high school but was one of the most responsible fathers I've ever seen. Seriously, went out and got a job, graduated high school, took care of his kid, was a real stand-up guy, and knowing his mom I'd expect nothing less.

(no subject)

squee1123.livejournal.com - 2007-07-10 00:04 (UTC) - Expand

You know what the best part of being a 40-something mom is? Being able to lay into the tiny-brained bow-heads that use these terms. And most of them even have the decency to look embarrassed.

Amen.

I hope you don't mind that I've friended you. I love your fic, and rants like this one make me love you, period.

Have you read the book Slut! Growing Up Female With a Bad Repututation by Leora Tanenbaum? If not, I totally recommend it.

Amen.

I kinda love you right now.

Here from

metaquotes (and also a SPN fan).

I just have to say that I nodded my head emphatically the entire time. Thank you for saying this.

I totally love you for this. Wanna make out? ;-)

(But seriously. Bravo, babe.)

Thank you.

Loved it, and intend to link, if OK.

You WIN.

Here via

metaquotes. Friending you too if you don't mind!

metaquotes flyby, and every word of this is so true.

*CLAPS*

The first time I was called a slut was when I had just started dating my first boyfriend, the relationship with whom consisted of nothing more sexually explicit than a few quick kisses. Basically, people are idiots.

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