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apocalypsos) wrote2009-07-20 06:38 pm
apocalypsos) wrote2009-07-20 06:38 pm
I was so tired last night ...
... I fell asleep on the couch and forgot to stay up and watch the last part of Meteor, otherwise known as "Marla Sokoloff, you're having the Best Worst Week Ever!"
So I just sat down with some Chinese donuts and watched it on NBC's website.
The good:
1. No, Marla Sokoloff was seriously having the worst week ever. What the hell was that, exactly? The meteor wasn't as much of a disaster as random hit-and-runs in the middle of nowhere, Mexican rape gangs, reverse car chases, and pretty much every technical line of dialogue she uttered. (Not that I have anything against a smart female character -- far from it -- but she's just so darn CUTE. And she's got such a thin little voice, and she chews on her words. It's distracting, is what it is.)
2. Apparently Stacy Keach can cure anything, from turning gigantic douchebags into loyal deputies or shooting irritating plot lines repeatedly in the torso and shutting them the fuck up, finally.
3. I don't know what amused me more, "The City of Taft" on a road sign (Really? Was "Taft" too vague after three hours of movie-of-the-week?) or a listing in the acting credits for "Controll Room Aide."
4. Bill Campbell. He makes everything better. :D
The bad:
1. What the FUCK was that serial-killer storyline even ABOUT? I mean, yes, I get what it was about, but what was it ABOUT, really? There is a reason they did that, right? Because call me crazy, but somewhere between the big honking rocks falling from the sky and everybody's family shit, you'd think that'd be enough without pasting in a crappy crime storyline. Damn it, it's ruining the crappy disaster movie I'm watching. HELLO.
2. Is it too much to ask that these movies commit to the end of the world? Just once? People wonder why I feel the strange urge to smoke a cigarette after watching the 2012 trailer and it's like, fuck, you guys, tell me how the planet comes back from THAT. I mean, I'm sure it will get a happy ending in some fashion, because Roland Emmerich and his gang have smaller testicles than *I* do when it comes to actually destroying the damn world, but that looks very ridiculously final, so my hopes have been raised.
I really don't need meteor billiards, is what I'm saying.
3. I could have happily traded that entire hospital storyline for backstory on the kickass Asian lieutenant. I liked her lots.
4. The last scene was the same sort of useless tacked-on happy-families crap I expect from these movies by now, but man, how much of a downer is Imogen? "Thank you for saving the world." "Hmph. Doesn't matter anyway, there's another coming in twenty years." "... oh, you're just a barrel full of laughs, aren't you?"
In summation, can I have The Storm now? Because that looks fantastically ridiculous.
*
In other news, I just saw a Parker vid set to "How Do You Talk To An Angel." I watched it, and I *still* can't wrap my brain around that.
Also, I opened the fortune cookie that came with my dinner and it said, "You are a happy man." I resent that, as my imaginary penis is quite clearly depressed with a thin veil of ennui.
So I just sat down with some Chinese donuts and watched it on NBC's website.
The good:
1. No, Marla Sokoloff was seriously having the worst week ever. What the hell was that, exactly? The meteor wasn't as much of a disaster as random hit-and-runs in the middle of nowhere, Mexican rape gangs, reverse car chases, and pretty much every technical line of dialogue she uttered. (Not that I have anything against a smart female character -- far from it -- but she's just so darn CUTE. And she's got such a thin little voice, and she chews on her words. It's distracting, is what it is.)
2. Apparently Stacy Keach can cure anything, from turning gigantic douchebags into loyal deputies or shooting irritating plot lines repeatedly in the torso and shutting them the fuck up, finally.
3. I don't know what amused me more, "The City of Taft" on a road sign (Really? Was "Taft" too vague after three hours of movie-of-the-week?) or a listing in the acting credits for "Controll Room Aide."
4. Bill Campbell. He makes everything better. :D
The bad:
1. What the FUCK was that serial-killer storyline even ABOUT? I mean, yes, I get what it was about, but what was it ABOUT, really? There is a reason they did that, right? Because call me crazy, but somewhere between the big honking rocks falling from the sky and everybody's family shit, you'd think that'd be enough without pasting in a crappy crime storyline. Damn it, it's ruining the crappy disaster movie I'm watching. HELLO.
2. Is it too much to ask that these movies commit to the end of the world? Just once? People wonder why I feel the strange urge to smoke a cigarette after watching the 2012 trailer and it's like, fuck, you guys, tell me how the planet comes back from THAT. I mean, I'm sure it will get a happy ending in some fashion, because Roland Emmerich and his gang have smaller testicles than *I* do when it comes to actually destroying the damn world, but that looks very ridiculously final, so my hopes have been raised.
I really don't need meteor billiards, is what I'm saying.
3. I could have happily traded that entire hospital storyline for backstory on the kickass Asian lieutenant. I liked her lots.
4. The last scene was the same sort of useless tacked-on happy-families crap I expect from these movies by now, but man, how much of a downer is Imogen? "Thank you for saving the world." "Hmph. Doesn't matter anyway, there's another coming in twenty years." "... oh, you're just a barrel full of laughs, aren't you?"
In summation, can I have The Storm now? Because that looks fantastically ridiculous.
*
In other news, I just saw a Parker vid set to "How Do You Talk To An Angel." I watched it, and I *still* can't wrap my brain around that.
Also, I opened the fortune cookie that came with my dinner and it said, "You are a happy man." I resent that, as my imaginary penis is quite clearly depressed with a thin veil of ennui.
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