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apocalypsos) wrote2004-02-24 09:45 pm
apocalypsos) wrote2004-02-24 09:45 pm
(no subject)
Hey, why didn't anybody tell me Lent started this week?!
Okay, so maybe I should have figured that one out on my own. And it's not like I care, of course. Then again, I wouldn't be me unless I went to see "The Passion of the Christ" this weekend and taunted my fellow moviegoers with beer, cigarettes, chocolate, and boobs. All right, so maybe not boobs. And especially not my boobs.
Anyway, Lent. If there's one thing I'm glad to be rid of, it's Lent. I'm a lapsed Catholic in much the same way as I'm a lapsed kindergartner -- I'm a long time from the fold, but I can fake it in a pinch -- so the thought of my giving up anything is beyond ridiculous. And I say that as if I ever actually gave up anything realistic for Lent. This is what I sounded like every year in catechism class ...
Sister What's-Her-Face: And what are you giving up for Lent, Jennifer?
Me: I'm going to give up spelunking, and telekinesis, and eating lobster for breakfast, and incredible feats of dark sorcery ...
Okay, so maybe not exactly like that, but you get the idea. In that respect, think this year for Lent, I'll give up glassblowing, exchanging pen pal letters with Cthulhu, and monkeys. Yes, I shall totally give up monkeys for Lent. Good plan!
By the way, this is what happened when the two supervisors who are still signing me up for full-time status informed me Lent was upon us:
Me: It's Lent already?!
Bossman: Yeah, what are you giving up, Jenn?
(Pause for fake serious thought, then, proudly --)
Me: Absolutely nothing!
Major Asshat: And that's why you'll be failing that drug test, Jenn.
I snorted Coke out of my nose on that one. No, seriously. That ruddy well hurts, damn it.
********
Oh, and spotted on IMDb ... Two-thirds of Americans believe that executions should be televised; 21 percent say they would pay to watch Osama bin Laden be executed on pay-per-view TV; and 11 percent say they would pay to watch Saddam Hussein be executed. The results were included in a Harris poll prepared for the Trio cable network.
Okay, look. I would love to see executions on TV. I would love to see criminals getting decapitated and fried and drawn and quartered and burned at the stake. Know why?
Because I'm a sick, evil fuck who likes to see bad shit, that's why!
However, I know it's wrong, and I know if I expressed such feelings to people who don't know me, they'd think I was insane.
SO, if a pollster had called me up and asked me if I wanted televised executions, I would have smiled sweetly, affected my most innocent voice, and said, "Of course not!"
Which makes me wonder what the hell is wrong with two-thirds of Americans. Sheesh.
Okay, so maybe I should have figured that one out on my own. And it's not like I care, of course. Then again, I wouldn't be me unless I went to see "The Passion of the Christ" this weekend and taunted my fellow moviegoers with beer, cigarettes, chocolate, and boobs. All right, so maybe not boobs. And especially not my boobs.
Anyway, Lent. If there's one thing I'm glad to be rid of, it's Lent. I'm a lapsed Catholic in much the same way as I'm a lapsed kindergartner -- I'm a long time from the fold, but I can fake it in a pinch -- so the thought of my giving up anything is beyond ridiculous. And I say that as if I ever actually gave up anything realistic for Lent. This is what I sounded like every year in catechism class ...
Sister What's-Her-Face: And what are you giving up for Lent, Jennifer?
Me: I'm going to give up spelunking, and telekinesis, and eating lobster for breakfast, and incredible feats of dark sorcery ...
Okay, so maybe not exactly like that, but you get the idea. In that respect, think this year for Lent, I'll give up glassblowing, exchanging pen pal letters with Cthulhu, and monkeys. Yes, I shall totally give up monkeys for Lent. Good plan!
By the way, this is what happened when the two supervisors who are still signing me up for full-time status informed me Lent was upon us:
Me: It's Lent already?!
Bossman: Yeah, what are you giving up, Jenn?
(Pause for fake serious thought, then, proudly --)
Me: Absolutely nothing!
Major Asshat: And that's why you'll be failing that drug test, Jenn.
I snorted Coke out of my nose on that one. No, seriously. That ruddy well hurts, damn it.
********
Oh, and spotted on IMDb ... Two-thirds of Americans believe that executions should be televised; 21 percent say they would pay to watch Osama bin Laden be executed on pay-per-view TV; and 11 percent say they would pay to watch Saddam Hussein be executed. The results were included in a Harris poll prepared for the Trio cable network.
Okay, look. I would love to see executions on TV. I would love to see criminals getting decapitated and fried and drawn and quartered and burned at the stake. Know why?
Because I'm a sick, evil fuck who likes to see bad shit, that's why!
However, I know it's wrong, and I know if I expressed such feelings to people who don't know me, they'd think I was insane.
SO, if a pollster had called me up and asked me if I wanted televised executions, I would have smiled sweetly, affected my most innocent voice, and said, "Of course not!"
Which makes me wonder what the hell is wrong with two-thirds of Americans. Sheesh.
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