(no subject)

[apocalypsos]

Hey, why didn't anybody tell me Lent started this week?!

Okay, so maybe I should have figured that one out on my own. And it's not like I care, of course. Then again, I wouldn't be me unless I went to see "The Passion of the Christ" this weekend and taunted my fellow moviegoers with beer, cigarettes, chocolate, and boobs. All right, so maybe not boobs. And especially not my boobs.

Anyway, Lent. If there's one thing I'm glad to be rid of, it's Lent. I'm a lapsed Catholic in much the same way as I'm a lapsed kindergartner -- I'm a long time from the fold, but I can fake it in a pinch -- so the thought of my giving up anything is beyond ridiculous. And I say that as if I ever actually gave up anything realistic for Lent. This is what I sounded like every year in catechism class ...

Sister What's-Her-Face: And what are you giving up for Lent, Jennifer?
Me: I'm going to give up spelunking, and telekinesis, and eating lobster for breakfast, and incredible feats of dark sorcery ...

Okay, so maybe not exactly like that, but you get the idea. In that respect, think this year for Lent, I'll give up glassblowing, exchanging pen pal letters with Cthulhu, and monkeys. Yes, I shall totally give up monkeys for Lent. Good plan!

By the way, this is what happened when the two supervisors who are still signing me up for full-time status informed me Lent was upon us:

Me: It's Lent already?!
Bossman: Yeah, what are you giving up, Jenn?
(Pause for fake serious thought, then, proudly --)
Me: Absolutely nothing!
Major Asshat: And that's why you'll be failing that drug test, Jenn.

I snorted Coke out of my nose on that one. No, seriously. That ruddy well hurts, damn it.

********

Oh, and spotted on IMDb ... Two-thirds of Americans believe that executions should be televised; 21 percent say they would pay to watch Osama bin Laden be executed on pay-per-view TV; and 11 percent say they would pay to watch Saddam Hussein be executed. The results were included in a Harris poll prepared for the Trio cable network.

Okay, look. I would love to see executions on TV. I would love to see criminals getting decapitated and fried and drawn and quartered and burned at the stake. Know why?

Because I'm a sick, evil fuck who likes to see bad shit, that's why!

However, I know it's wrong, and I know if I expressed such feelings to people who don't know me, they'd think I was insane.

SO, if a pollster had called me up and asked me if I wanted televised executions, I would have smiled sweetly, affected my most innocent voice, and said, "Of course not!"

Which makes me wonder what the hell is wrong with two-thirds of Americans. Sheesh.

Comments

[kearie.livejournal.com]

I don't know you, you don't know me, found you through my friendsfriends list and I don't even know which mutual friend we have. Just letting you know that for this entry I *have* to friend you. Enjoy giving up monkey's for Lent, I for one am simply giving up Catholicism ;-)

[the-nominee.livejournal.com]

Hey lent started this week!
*smooches*

[nute.livejournal.com]

I gave up being Catholic for Lent once. Oops.

[harmonyfb.livejournal.com]

Ok, so I'm friending you. Because you made me snort stuff up my nose twice today. Twice, dammit! That's some kind of sick, twisted record, I'm sure.

Bear in mind that I'm not nearly so entertaining, and as a result I recommend against bookmarking my journal in return.

[catystorm.livejournal.com]

Well, if it's an anonymous poll, I'd prolly say whatever the hell I'd want. Which would be "hell ya, televise the mutherfockers getting their just desserts." ^_^

[cmstephens.livejournal.com]

Simple answer: two-thirds of Americans are assholes. You were a telemarketer, you've probably encountered more than your fair share during that job alone...

As for Lent... you know you've been around McD's for WAY too long when you notice that their specials on Filet O' Fish sandwiches always coincide with Lent. (This is especially true when Lent is NOT part of your own religious practices...)

[lots42.livejournal.com]

Mmmm Fillet O'Fish! Yummylicous.

[acetal.livejournal.com]

You can't give up dark sorcery for Lent, much in the same way you can't give up masturbation. That's because it's a sin, not an indulgence. That said, I commit a moral sin every hour of every day. ;)

Thing is, I'm not sure whether they'd make executions on tv a reality show or a gameshow.

If it was a gameshow then I'm sure at the end they'd have the winner spin a wheel to find out how they'd be executed. "Now, Jimmy-Joe Bob, we've got hanging, shooting, lethal injection, the gas chamber and of course the electric chair. Or you could *laughs* get a chance to appeal your case."

If it were a reality show, on the other hand, then I'm sure they'd get people to call in and vote on a 1-900 number.

[acetal.livejournal.com]

Erm. That should read `mortal sin'. I'm not really sure a moral sin is possible, but if so, I'm all for it.

[tree220.livejournal.com]

I'll probably just give up my usual for lent which is . . . well . . . lent. I found that's it the one thing I can give up with no problem.

[feath.livejournal.com]

I haven't believed in the percentages of a poll since I worked for mcdonnald douglas aircraft, and saw what you could DO with numbers.

[lots42.livejournal.com]

I would not be suprised if the poll went 'Should the execution chamber be closed off and the execution brodcast via closed circuit tv to officials'? And people answered yes and they said 'They wanna see televised executions!'.

BTW, I gave up catholocism for lent once and never picked it back up again

[ladyvyola.livejournal.com]

Giving up monkeys? Now that's a real sacrifice!

[tviokh.livejournal.com]

Okay, look. I would love to see executions on TV. I would love to see criminals getting decapitated and fried and drawn and quartered and burned at the stake.

So would I.
I'd rather see them in person than on TV though.

Bring back public guillotining!
Man, where do I sign up for that job?

[wenchamok.livejournal.com]

Speaking of the Trio network, do you get it there, TP? 'Cause in March they're starting a program called "Autopsy".....