apocalypsos: (Default)
tatty bojangles ([personal profile] apocalypsos) wrote2010-05-14 12:27 am

Seriously?

We're going to do this wank again?

Aw, come on, authors. It's the same script every time.

First you tell us that you hate fanfiction. Then you say that people who write fanfiction are lazy and stupid. At some point you usually question why we're not going out and getting our own original stuff published, as though willfully ignoring just how hard it IS to get published and that hobbies even exist and how writing fanfiction and original fiction at the same time are not actually mutually exclusive either/or scenarios. Then you make a rape analogy, or just outright use word "rape" repeatedly. Then you say something about how porn is bad, and therefore all fiction with sex is bad, and therefore no one should ever write anything EVER. And somewhere along the line you accuse fanfic writers of "taking it easy" by forcing themselves to write to an established canon with established characters who don't always realistically behave the way they'd like and with established backgrounds and mythologies that you can't just deviate from without a shitload of planning. Because that's really easy.

And then you say something about how all fanfiction is bad, because biased generalities are our friends, and because there's no such thing as bad published fiction, because getting an advance and royalty checks makes our writing English gooder. Then you doubt our commitment to sparkle motion, and then you make some sort of snide comment about how you'll wait patiently because you know comments will be slow to come what with every single fanfic writer attempting to type them out one-handed and all.

Seriously, you guys, somebody get creative already. This thing where you write fanfic of each other's anti-fanfic screeds from the first-person POV of your own bitchy Mary Sue is tiresome. The least you could do is add some unicorn mpreg. I mean, really.

[identity profile] teenygozer.livejournal.com 2010-05-14 04:41 am (UTC)(link)
Wow, all-around great rant; but that final paragraph FOR THE WIN! \o/

[identity profile] sabra-n.livejournal.com 2010-05-14 04:49 am (UTC)(link)
WE ARE EVIL CHEATING CROSS-STITCHERS

[identity profile] apocalypsos.livejournal.com 2010-05-14 04:52 am (UTC)(link)
IF IT WEREN'T FOR THOSE DAMN STIFLING HOME-EC TEACHERS I COULD CROSS-STITCHING PROFESSIONALLY, DUDE. THAT'S WHERE THE BIG MONEY IS.
anonymous_sibyl: Red plums in a blue bowl on which it says "this is just to say." (Default)

[personal profile] anonymous_sibyl 2010-05-14 05:01 am (UTC)(link)
Embroidery and Hamburger Helper. So I guess the point of her story is if you aren't a four-star cook and professional seamstress you just shouldn't do anything at all? Awesome. Maybe tomorrow night I'll find one of those kits and work on it while I whip up some Hamburger Helper. Just to be contrary.

(I could write paragraphs about the privilege inherent in that Hamburger Helper statement. Paragraphs. But since I'm not a Pompous Ass tonight, I won't.)

[identity profile] aesvir.livejournal.com 2010-05-14 05:04 am (UTC)(link)
THIS. I don't write myself, but it's obvious to any fair-minded reader that good fanfiction requires skill, understanding, and hard work. One of the joys of watching any new fandom grow is seeing authors take the emerging canon, mix in fannish tropes (sex pollen! bodyswap! genderbending!), to create something delightful. Dismissing all that creativity just because it didn't use original characters or produce a paycheck is folly.

And I wonder about those offended authors who are so proud of their own creativity. Did their novel have dragons? Daddy/mommy issues? Love triangles? Consciously or not, they were writing in reaction to Oedipus Rex, Arthurian legend, the Ring Cycle, you name it. Someone should Wiki "anxiety of influence."

[identity profile] themadfish.livejournal.com 2010-05-14 05:05 am (UTC)(link)
I'm not even gonna bother reading it. Like you said, what's the point? The arguments are all the same anyway, and they're never gonna change their minds.

[identity profile] misachan.livejournal.com 2010-05-14 05:07 am (UTC)(link)
The hilarious thing is that it's not like there are people lining up to write fic for her stories anyway. What is she even worried about?

(And I like hamburger helper.)
ext_10182: Anzo-Berrega Desert (Duo hates you too!)

[identity profile] rashaka.livejournal.com 2010-05-14 05:41 am (UTC)(link)
OoooooOOOOOOOOOh. It's her.

I read about four of her books in middle school. I remember being creeped out by implied incest that never manifested, and wanting to get angry at the book for never getting the main characters together for hair-pulling reasons. But I liked the magic.


...damn, I read way too many hardcore fantasy series as a teen.

[identity profile] lavenderfrost.livejournal.com 2010-05-14 05:34 am (UTC)(link)
That's nice, but what are their thoughts on yaoi?

[identity profile] reneekytokorpi.livejournal.com 2010-05-14 06:24 am (UTC)(link)
Based on the tone, I would say "not flattering".

Which is too bad really. I first became interested in writing when I read Ronin Warrior (Yoroiden Samurai Trooper) fanfics, of which the majority fall into the categories of 'yaoi' or 'mary sue'. It's nice to write fanfic starting out, because then you get feedback on what you're doing wrong.

Once you get a clearer idea of what you're doing wrong you can begin to write your own stories as you see them in your head without mangling them as badly. I'll let the world know when I get past the mangling stage! :P

Personally, the day I get fanfic I would dance madly around my house and sing. Fanfic, in my mind, means 'published' and furthermore that someone is READING and cares enough to elaborate! It means I'm doing something right!

Dear gods, send the fanfic my way!!!

[identity profile] lavenderfrost.livejournal.com 2010-05-14 06:27 am (UTC)(link)
Was actually being snarky. Old fandom_wank meme. ^^;;

Personally, the day I get fanfic I would dance madly around my house and sing.

Word. Writers don't understand that fanfic means your readers like your work enough to ENGAGE with it, dammit. Very few published authors GET that kind of acclaim.

[identity profile] reneekytokorpi.livejournal.com 2010-05-14 10:45 am (UTC)(link)
Ah, see I fail at seeing sarcasm through the internet, so I thought it was a serious question. :P

So few writers get the attention I feel they deserve. :( Whether or not authors like fanfics, they could look at it this way: Fanfiction can introduce new readers to their work. If I like a fanfic author, I'll often read ALL of their work regardless of whether or not I recognize the series. If I like it, I'll often poke my nose into the series. This is how I discovered Firefly, X the TV series, Fruits Basket, and various other things I love dearly now. True, not all fanfics are particularly well written, but it's free advertising as well as just appreciation, yes?

[identity profile] othercat.livejournal.com 2010-05-15 06:13 am (UTC)(link)
The woman wrote evil homosexuals, so I'd say "not good at all." *amused/random*

[identity profile] reneekytokorpi.livejournal.com 2010-05-16 12:17 am (UTC)(link)
Heh. Point.

I haven't read anything of hers. I'm pretty picky about how I spend my time.

[identity profile] honorh.livejournal.com 2010-05-14 05:38 am (UTC)(link)
I've decided that whenever an author comes out with an anti-fanfic screed, he or she will be crossed off my "to read" list. Thank God Jim Butcher is a sensible man!

[identity profile] lavenderfrost.livejournal.com 2010-05-14 05:43 am (UTC)(link)
Or you could write fanfic and post/link anonymously JUST TO FUCK WITH THEM. :D
ext_10182: Anzo-Berrega Desert (Picard: WORD!)

[identity profile] rashaka.livejournal.com 2010-05-14 05:38 am (UTC)(link)
Then you doubt our commitment to sparkle motion,

I love you for that. Never leave my flist.

[identity profile] emella.livejournal.com 2010-05-14 06:30 am (UTC)(link)
LMAO I loved your last line, it totally makes up for all the bullshit the haters are pulling.

[identity profile] ralob.livejournal.com 2010-05-14 06:30 am (UTC)(link)
Le sigh. Another day, another douche whining about the outrageous evils of fanfic. First they will write fic.... then they will take over the world! Clearly this two part plan of ours is full-proof.

[identity profile] outsideth3box.livejournal.com 2010-05-14 06:32 am (UTC)(link)
I adore you. I'd volunteer my OMC to have your winged/mutant/vampire assbabies. If I were to write anything original, ever. You know. Cuz that's hard.

Hee!

[identity profile] jencat004.livejournal.com 2010-05-14 07:36 am (UTC)(link)
Yer awesome.

[identity profile] slashfairy.livejournal.com 2010-05-14 08:25 am (UTC)(link)
Then you doubt our commitment to sparkle motion . . .

*applause*
andraste: The reason half the internet imagines me as Patrick Stewart. (Default)

[personal profile] andraste 2010-05-14 10:01 am (UTC)(link)
What, we have to go over this again? Don't the wanky published authors realise that fandom is due to move on to Round #731 of the warnings debate this week? They're holding up the natural cycle!

(This post is made of awesome, though. I have great commitment to sparkle motion!)

[identity profile] honorh.livejournal.com 2010-05-14 12:10 pm (UTC)(link)
It's all that Wincon shit. It's like El Nino. Or global warming, one or the other.

[identity profile] reneekytokorpi.livejournal.com 2010-05-14 10:46 am (UTC)(link)
What is sparkle motion???

[identity profile] cat-eyed-fox.livejournal.com 2010-05-14 03:52 pm (UTC)(link)
I'm not an expert or anything and it's been a while since I've seem the flick, but Sparkle Motion is from the movie Donnie Darko. Basically it's a middle school dance troop that gets invited to preform on Star Search I think. Anyways, the woman in charge of Sparkle Motion is talking to another mom and says something like, "Sometimes I doubt your commitment to Sparkle Motion." I've seen it used in reference to the Twilight Vampires who sparkle, as well as referring to anyone who doesn't quite get how ridiculous they are being. I think.

[identity profile] reneekytokorpi.livejournal.com 2010-05-16 12:18 am (UTC)(link)
Ah, I understand.

Suddenly the snark is in context and all the better for it! :)

[identity profile] cat-eyed-fox.livejournal.com 2010-05-16 02:00 am (UTC)(link)
My favorite are those icons w/ Robert Pattinson all Twilighted up and looking emo and serious with the saying "Sometimes I doubt your commitment to Sparkle Motion."
ext_835: (Default)

[identity profile] gweneiriol.livejournal.com 2010-05-14 12:59 pm (UTC)(link)
Unicorn Mpreg makes EVERYTHING better imo.

[identity profile] wrenlet.livejournal.com 2010-05-14 02:55 pm (UTC)(link)
*headtilt, sigh* I... you know what's making me tired about this debate? The number of authors who seemed to have NO CLUE that when they write, when they publish, they are participating in culture. That it's not a one-way street, and that their stories don't exist in hermetically-sealed containers, forever walled away so no ideas within them can ever leak out onto something else.

*feh* I have been grumbly ALL WEEK. Asinine comparisons to cooking and embroidery don't help.

[identity profile] kitarra.livejournal.com 2010-05-14 04:57 pm (UTC)(link)
Ok. So funny thing, she actually deleted or make the post private cause it's not there any more. I think you killed her!

[identity profile] eleigh.livejournal.com 2010-05-14 05:45 pm (UTC)(link)
Yeah. I'm annoyed because I was going to read the post at work. Luckily, I left the post up at home so it'll be like it was never deleted.

[identity profile] kitarra.livejournal.com 2010-05-14 07:03 pm (UTC)(link)
It's not much, a few lines of drivel.

[identity profile] eleigh.livejournal.com 2010-05-14 07:18 pm (UTC)(link)
Yeah. It's already up on fandom_wank so I got the play by play.
azurelunatic: Vivid pink Alaskan wild rose. (Default)

[personal profile] azurelunatic 2010-05-14 08:04 pm (UTC)(link)
The thing that I'm waiting for someone to go off on? (I may have to do it myself, if no one else obliges me...)

Who the hell are you [pros] to suddenly be the hobby police? THIS IS A THING. WE DO IT FOR FUN. IT IS ENTERTAINING TO READ AND WRITE. I MAY JUDGE YOUR CRAPPY TASTE IN TV IN MY HEART, BUT NOTICE HOW YOUR CRAPPY TASTE IN TV IS A HOBBY THAT DOES NOT PROFIT YOU, BUT YOU DO IT FOR FUN ANYWAY. ALSO NOTICE ME NOT GETTING HET UP UNDER THE COLLAR ABOUT YOUR CRAPPY TASTE IN TV, EVEN WHEN YOU SHARE IT WITH THE REST OF THE CLASS. THIS IS A HOBBY. HOBBIES, ARE SORT OF BY DEFINITION NOT REALLY THINGS THAT WE PROFIT FROM. THIS IS WHY IT IS A HOBBY AND NOT OUR JOB. IF WE WERE INTERESTED IN IT AS A JOB, WE WOULD PROBABLY BE WRITING OUR OWN ORIGINAL STUFF. NOTICE THE PROS WHO WRITE THEIR OWN NOVELS WHICH ARE VERY GOOD AND ALSO WRITE INEXPLICABLE FANFIC ON THEIR OWN TIME TO BLOW OFF STEAM. THIS IS BECAUSE IT IS THEIR HOBBY. GO FIND YOUR OWN SANDBOX. IF YOU ARE RANTING ABOUT OUR HOBBIES, MAYBE YOU NEED MORE OF YOUR OWN.

[identity profile] tenebris.livejournal.com 2010-05-14 08:11 pm (UTC)(link)
Brilliant summary! A+++, would giggle and link people again. :)

Really, though, it's amazing how the cycle goes round and round like this. Can we stop talking about fanfic to the pros? I think them not knowing is much better for their brains than ours at this point.

[identity profile] lots42.livejournal.com 2010-05-14 09:15 pm (UTC)(link)
This -paticular- guy you linked to, sounds like a troll. Especially with the first comment being 'I agree and I also type like you type'.

[identity profile] othercat.livejournal.com 2010-05-15 06:17 am (UTC)(link)
They are participating in the fanfic process by being just like us with the wank and the drama queening.