(no subject)

[apocalypsos]

My little brother is on CRACK.

Bryan: I can't go to work today. I'm dying.
Me: Oh, you are not.
Bryan: I am, too. Of mad cow disease. "MOO! MOO! I'M SO ANGRY!"
Me: *spews soda*

Bryan: I'm dying.
Me: Oh, what now?
Bryan: I'm dying of ... gonoherperabieitis.
Me: And what are the symptoms of that, exactly?
Bryan: Uh ... melting?

Bryan: I'm still dying.
Me: Do you have a tumor?
Bryan: Uh, yeah.
Me: Oh, really? Does it have a name?
Bryan: Plinky.
Me: *spews soda again*
Bryan: Yup, Plinky the Tumor. It's worse than an attached fetus.
Me: And why's that?
Bryan: It tells me to do things.
Me: Like what?
Bryan: Uh, rob banks, listen to country music, make pierogies ...

Bryan: I can't believe RV beat United 93 at the box office.
Me: I know.
Bryan: I bet I know the ending.
Me: *shouldn't laugh but does anyway*
Bryan: Like with Passion of the Christ.
Me: Well, you know, there's a surprise twist at the end of that.

Bryan: I just crushed my Combos.
Me: You mean all you've got left is ... wait, it's cheese and pretzels, right?
Bryan: Yeah. Duh.
Me: Well, I don't know. I don't even like Combos.
Bryan: Well, now they're putting drugs in them.
Me: What kind of drugs?
Bryan: The kind they show on commercials where it's like, "Taking this for your herpes will give you anal leakage."
Me: EW.
Bryan: It's kind of a crappy trade-off.
Me: I'll say.
Bryan: *takes a second to get it* ... EW.
Me: You'd think if you were going to give someone anal leakage, you'd make it interesting. "Yes, urine comes out one side, but on the other side, root beer!"
Bryan: "Take this pill and you'll pee apple juice."
Me: ... that's so gross.
Bryan: As gross as the anal leakage?
Me: Okay, point.

Okay, so maybe we're both a little on crack. *giggles*

So twenty minutes after "Carry On, Wayward Son" came on my Zen and made me burst into tears, I talked to my brother and he made me burst into tears again, except from laughter.

He's also seriously considering going to DragonCon, and he may be the only person I know in real life who desperately needs to go to DragonCon. I told him if he wants to go, I'd pay his registration, because ... honestly, he NEEDS to go. One look at the dealer's room and he'll die a little of giddiness.

Comments

[exsequar.livejournal.com]

Your brother is awesome. I like him.

You know...

[seferin.livejournal.com]

it would be worth it to pay your registration to hear your version of the con.

[telaryn.livejournal.com]

If he makes it, tell him he *must* come by my table and buy a t-shirt! (we're the first table as you go into the basement-level dealer's room at the Mariott).

[slashfairy.livejournal.com]

your little brother are truly endearing. I'll contribute to his upkeep for dragoncon, and i don't even know what it is, where it is, or why he needs to go... i'm just delighted with how funny he is.

[livejamie.livejournal.com]

humor runs in the family it seems.
:]

[callmesyd.livejournal.com]

DragonCon = WINNER. The Boyfriend and I are both going to be there. Should we keep our ears open for "SQUEEEEE!" or "OOOOOOO!" when we're in the dealer's room?

[dodger-winslow.livejournal.com]

This is too funny.

[huggenkiss.livejournal.com]

Dude, your brother is hilarious. Can you clone him so I can have one? :D

[tarzanic.livejournal.com]

Your littler brother is absolutely hilarious! :D

[crediniaeth.livejournal.com]

Your brother rocks. *thumbs up*

[squee1123.livejournal.com]

you and your brother are awesome.