(no subject)

[apocalypsos]

My little brother is on CRACK.

Bryan: I can't go to work today. I'm dying.
Me: Oh, you are not.
Bryan: I am, too. Of mad cow disease. "MOO! MOO! I'M SO ANGRY!"
Me: *spews soda*

Bryan: I'm dying.
Me: Oh, what now?
Bryan: I'm dying of ... gonoherperabieitis.
Me: And what are the symptoms of that, exactly?
Bryan: Uh ... melting?

Bryan: I'm still dying.
Me: Do you have a tumor?
Bryan: Uh, yeah.
Me: Oh, really? Does it have a name?
Bryan: Plinky.
Me: *spews soda again*
Bryan: Yup, Plinky the Tumor. It's worse than an attached fetus.
Me: And why's that?
Bryan: It tells me to do things.
Me: Like what?
Bryan: Uh, rob banks, listen to country music, make pierogies ...

Bryan: I can't believe RV beat United 93 at the box office.
Me: I know.
Bryan: I bet I know the ending.
Me: *shouldn't laugh but does anyway*
Bryan: Like with Passion of the Christ.
Me: Well, you know, there's a surprise twist at the end of that.

Bryan: I just crushed my Combos.
Me: You mean all you've got left is ... wait, it's cheese and pretzels, right?
Bryan: Yeah. Duh.
Me: Well, I don't know. I don't even like Combos.
Bryan: Well, now they're putting drugs in them.
Me: What kind of drugs?
Bryan: The kind they show on commercials where it's like, "Taking this for your herpes will give you anal leakage."
Me: EW.
Bryan: It's kind of a crappy trade-off.
Me: I'll say.
Bryan: *takes a second to get it* ... EW.
Me: You'd think if you were going to give someone anal leakage, you'd make it interesting. "Yes, urine comes out one side, but on the other side, root beer!"
Bryan: "Take this pill and you'll pee apple juice."
Me: ... that's so gross.
Bryan: As gross as the anal leakage?
Me: Okay, point.

Okay, so maybe we're both a little on crack. *giggles*

So twenty minutes after "Carry On, Wayward Son" came on my Zen and made me burst into tears, I talked to my brother and he made me burst into tears again, except from laughter.

He's also seriously considering going to DragonCon, and he may be the only person I know in real life who desperately needs to go to DragonCon. I told him if he wants to go, I'd pay his registration, because ... honestly, he NEEDS to go. One look at the dealer's room and he'll die a little of giddiness.

Comments

[exsequar.livejournal.com]

Your brother is awesome. I like him.

[apocalypsos.livejournal.com]

Me, too. :)

You know...

[seferin.livejournal.com]

it would be worth it to pay your registration to hear your version of the con.

Re: You know...

[apocalypsos.livejournal.com]

I think the only problem right now with doing DragonCon is that I'm not sure I could get away with doing that and Winchestercon in Nashville a month and half later either financially or with my vacation days the way they are.

Ouch.

[seferin.livejournal.com]

Fair enough. Bear in mind, if you are going to pay for your brother, the earlier the better.

Re: You know...

[xianghua.livejournal.com]

Wait, there's a con in NASHVILLE?

*plots to go, caused that's only like 4 hours away and built in crash space w/ family and stuff*

Re: You know...

[apocalypsos.livejournal.com]

winchestercon

As in, yup. :)

[telaryn.livejournal.com]

If he makes it, tell him he *must* come by my table and buy a t-shirt! (we're the first table as you go into the basement-level dealer's room at the Mariott).

[apocalypsos.livejournal.com]

Dude, I'm so going to have to do that. :)

I've already been giving him pointers like "Get a room on a lower floor to avoid elevator hell!" and "There's a Burger King a block away!" (or was it a McDonald's?) and "Don't miss the autopsy panel!"

[telaryn.livejournal.com]

McDonald's. There's also a Hooter's, but timing is important on getting into that one.

Another important survival tip is *NOT* to count on the freaking food court at the mall. Less money, but they don't extend their hours at all during the con.

The entrepreneur in me just doesn't get blowing off all that potential revenue.

[callmesyd.livejournal.com]

What day is the 501st Storm Trooper Legion doing their Hard Rock Cafe thing? Because he should totally be made aware of it so that he can dine with the Emperor's finest.

They do it after the parade, I think?

[slashfairy.livejournal.com]

your little brother are truly endearing. I'll contribute to his upkeep for dragoncon, and i don't even know what it is, where it is, or why he needs to go... i'm just delighted with how funny he is.

[livejamie.livejournal.com]

humor runs in the family it seems.
:]

[callmesyd.livejournal.com]

DragonCon = WINNER. The Boyfriend and I are both going to be there. Should we keep our ears open for "SQUEEEEE!" or "OOOOOOO!" when we're in the dealer's room?

[dodger-winslow.livejournal.com]

This is too funny.

[huggenkiss.livejournal.com]

Dude, your brother is hilarious. Can you clone him so I can have one? :D

[apocalypsos.livejournal.com]

I wish I could. I'd pass out copies to everybody. He's my Sam. :)

[tarzanic.livejournal.com]

Your littler brother is absolutely hilarious! :D

[crediniaeth.livejournal.com]

Your brother rocks. *thumbs up*

[squee1123.livejournal.com]

you and your brother are awesome.