(no subject)
May. 5th, 2006 02:31 pm![[personal profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/user.png){kind=small}
apocalypsosMy little brother is on CRACK.
Bryan: I can't go to work today. I'm dying.
Me: Oh, you are not.
Bryan: I am, too. Of mad cow disease. "MOO! MOO! I'M SO ANGRY!"
Me: *spews soda*
Bryan: I'm dying.
Me: Oh, what now?
Bryan: I'm dying of ... gonoherperabieitis.
Me: And what are the symptoms of that, exactly?
Bryan: Uh ... melting?
Bryan: I'm still dying.
Me: Do you have a tumor?
Bryan: Uh, yeah.
Me: Oh, really? Does it have a name?
Bryan: Plinky.
Me: *spews soda again*
Bryan: Yup, Plinky the Tumor. It's worse than an attached fetus.
Me: And why's that?
Bryan: It tells me to do things.
Me: Like what?
Bryan: Uh, rob banks, listen to country music, make pierogies ...
Bryan: I can't believe RV beat United 93 at the box office.
Me: I know.
Bryan: I bet I know the ending.
Me: *shouldn't laugh but does anyway*
Bryan: Like with Passion of the Christ.
Me: Well, you know, there's a surprise twist at the end of that.
Bryan: I just crushed my Combos.
Me: You mean all you've got left is ... wait, it's cheese and pretzels, right?
Bryan: Yeah. Duh.
Me: Well, I don't know. I don't even like Combos.
Bryan: Well, now they're putting drugs in them.
Me: What kind of drugs?
Bryan: The kind they show on commercials where it's like, "Taking this for your herpes will give you anal leakage."
Me: EW.
Bryan: It's kind of a crappy trade-off.
Me: I'll say.
Bryan: *takes a second to get it* ... EW.
Me: You'd think if you were going to give someone anal leakage, you'd make it interesting. "Yes, urine comes out one side, but on the other side, root beer!"
Bryan: "Take this pill and you'll pee apple juice."
Me: ... that's so gross.
Bryan: As gross as the anal leakage?
Me: Okay, point.
Okay, so maybe we're both a little on crack. *giggles*
So twenty minutes after "Carry On, Wayward Son" came on my Zen and made me burst into tears, I talked to my brother and he made me burst into tears again, except from laughter.
He's also seriously considering going to DragonCon, and he may be the only person I know in real life who desperately needs to go to DragonCon. I told him if he wants to go, I'd pay his registration, because ... honestly, he NEEDS to go. One look at the dealer's room and he'll die a little of giddiness.
Bryan: I can't go to work today. I'm dying.
Me: Oh, you are not.
Bryan: I am, too. Of mad cow disease. "MOO! MOO! I'M SO ANGRY!"
Me: *spews soda*
Bryan: I'm dying.
Me: Oh, what now?
Bryan: I'm dying of ... gonoherperabieitis.
Me: And what are the symptoms of that, exactly?
Bryan: Uh ... melting?
Bryan: I'm still dying.
Me: Do you have a tumor?
Bryan: Uh, yeah.
Me: Oh, really? Does it have a name?
Bryan: Plinky.
Me: *spews soda again*
Bryan: Yup, Plinky the Tumor. It's worse than an attached fetus.
Me: And why's that?
Bryan: It tells me to do things.
Me: Like what?
Bryan: Uh, rob banks, listen to country music, make pierogies ...
Bryan: I can't believe RV beat United 93 at the box office.
Me: I know.
Bryan: I bet I know the ending.
Me: *shouldn't laugh but does anyway*
Bryan: Like with Passion of the Christ.
Me: Well, you know, there's a surprise twist at the end of that.
Bryan: I just crushed my Combos.
Me: You mean all you've got left is ... wait, it's cheese and pretzels, right?
Bryan: Yeah. Duh.
Me: Well, I don't know. I don't even like Combos.
Bryan: Well, now they're putting drugs in them.
Me: What kind of drugs?
Bryan: The kind they show on commercials where it's like, "Taking this for your herpes will give you anal leakage."
Me: EW.
Bryan: It's kind of a crappy trade-off.
Me: I'll say.
Bryan: *takes a second to get it* ... EW.
Me: You'd think if you were going to give someone anal leakage, you'd make it interesting. "Yes, urine comes out one side, but on the other side, root beer!"
Bryan: "Take this pill and you'll pee apple juice."
Me: ... that's so gross.
Bryan: As gross as the anal leakage?
Me: Okay, point.
Okay, so maybe we're both a little on crack. *giggles*
So twenty minutes after "Carry On, Wayward Son" came on my Zen and made me burst into tears, I talked to my brother and he made me burst into tears again, except from laughter.
He's also seriously considering going to DragonCon, and he may be the only person I know in real life who desperately needs to go to DragonCon. I told him if he wants to go, I'd pay his registration, because ... honestly, he NEEDS to go. One look at the dealer's room and he'll die a little of giddiness.
