tatty bojangles (![[personal profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/user.png)
apocalypsos) wrote2006-05-05 02:31 pm
apocalypsos) wrote2006-05-05 02:31 pm
(no subject)
My little brother is on CRACK.
Bryan: I can't go to work today. I'm dying.
Me: Oh, you are not.
Bryan: I am, too. Of mad cow disease. "MOO! MOO! I'M SO ANGRY!"
Me: *spews soda*
Bryan: I'm dying.
Me: Oh, what now?
Bryan: I'm dying of ... gonoherperabieitis.
Me: And what are the symptoms of that, exactly?
Bryan: Uh ... melting?
Bryan: I'm still dying.
Me: Do you have a tumor?
Bryan: Uh, yeah.
Me: Oh, really? Does it have a name?
Bryan: Plinky.
Me: *spews soda again*
Bryan: Yup, Plinky the Tumor. It's worse than an attached fetus.
Me: And why's that?
Bryan: It tells me to do things.
Me: Like what?
Bryan: Uh, rob banks, listen to country music, make pierogies ...
Bryan: I can't believe RV beat United 93 at the box office.
Me: I know.
Bryan: I bet I know the ending.
Me: *shouldn't laugh but does anyway*
Bryan: Like with Passion of the Christ.
Me: Well, you know, there's a surprise twist at the end of that.
Bryan: I just crushed my Combos.
Me: You mean all you've got left is ... wait, it's cheese and pretzels, right?
Bryan: Yeah. Duh.
Me: Well, I don't know. I don't even like Combos.
Bryan: Well, now they're putting drugs in them.
Me: What kind of drugs?
Bryan: The kind they show on commercials where it's like, "Taking this for your herpes will give you anal leakage."
Me: EW.
Bryan: It's kind of a crappy trade-off.
Me: I'll say.
Bryan: *takes a second to get it* ... EW.
Me: You'd think if you were going to give someone anal leakage, you'd make it interesting. "Yes, urine comes out one side, but on the other side, root beer!"
Bryan: "Take this pill and you'll pee apple juice."
Me: ... that's so gross.
Bryan: As gross as the anal leakage?
Me: Okay, point.
Okay, so maybe we're both a little on crack. *giggles*
So twenty minutes after "Carry On, Wayward Son" came on my Zen and made me burst into tears, I talked to my brother and he made me burst into tears again, except from laughter.
He's also seriously considering going to DragonCon, and he may be the only person I know in real life who desperately needs to go to DragonCon. I told him if he wants to go, I'd pay his registration, because ... honestly, he NEEDS to go. One look at the dealer's room and he'll die a little of giddiness.
Bryan: I can't go to work today. I'm dying.
Me: Oh, you are not.
Bryan: I am, too. Of mad cow disease. "MOO! MOO! I'M SO ANGRY!"
Me: *spews soda*
Bryan: I'm dying.
Me: Oh, what now?
Bryan: I'm dying of ... gonoherperabieitis.
Me: And what are the symptoms of that, exactly?
Bryan: Uh ... melting?
Bryan: I'm still dying.
Me: Do you have a tumor?
Bryan: Uh, yeah.
Me: Oh, really? Does it have a name?
Bryan: Plinky.
Me: *spews soda again*
Bryan: Yup, Plinky the Tumor. It's worse than an attached fetus.
Me: And why's that?
Bryan: It tells me to do things.
Me: Like what?
Bryan: Uh, rob banks, listen to country music, make pierogies ...
Bryan: I can't believe RV beat United 93 at the box office.
Me: I know.
Bryan: I bet I know the ending.
Me: *shouldn't laugh but does anyway*
Bryan: Like with Passion of the Christ.
Me: Well, you know, there's a surprise twist at the end of that.
Bryan: I just crushed my Combos.
Me: You mean all you've got left is ... wait, it's cheese and pretzels, right?
Bryan: Yeah. Duh.
Me: Well, I don't know. I don't even like Combos.
Bryan: Well, now they're putting drugs in them.
Me: What kind of drugs?
Bryan: The kind they show on commercials where it's like, "Taking this for your herpes will give you anal leakage."
Me: EW.
Bryan: It's kind of a crappy trade-off.
Me: I'll say.
Bryan: *takes a second to get it* ... EW.
Me: You'd think if you were going to give someone anal leakage, you'd make it interesting. "Yes, urine comes out one side, but on the other side, root beer!"
Bryan: "Take this pill and you'll pee apple juice."
Me: ... that's so gross.
Bryan: As gross as the anal leakage?
Me: Okay, point.
Okay, so maybe we're both a little on crack. *giggles*
So twenty minutes after "Carry On, Wayward Son" came on my Zen and made me burst into tears, I talked to my brother and he made me burst into tears again, except from laughter.
He's also seriously considering going to DragonCon, and he may be the only person I know in real life who desperately needs to go to DragonCon. I told him if he wants to go, I'd pay his registration, because ... honestly, he NEEDS to go. One look at the dealer's room and he'll die a little of giddiness.
no subject
no subject
You know...
Re: You know...
Ouch.
Re: You know...
*plots to go, caused that's only like 4 hours away and built in crash space w/ family and stuff*
Re: You know...
As in, yup. :)
no subject
no subject
I've already been giving him pointers like "Get a room on a lower floor to avoid elevator hell!" and "There's a Burger King a block away!" (or was it a McDonald's?) and "Don't miss the autopsy panel!"
no subject
Another important survival tip is *NOT* to count on the freaking food court at the mall. Less money, but they don't extend their hours at all during the con.
The entrepreneur in me just doesn't get blowing off all that potential revenue.
no subject
They do it after the parade, I think?
no subject
no subject
:]
no subject
no subject
no subject
no subject
no subject
no subject
no subject