tatty bojangles (
apocalypsos) wrote2004-04-01 09:22 am
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Well, it's nice to see that I'm not the only one who despises this unholy of unholy days. Maybe it's because I'm gullible on Olympic levels, I don't know.
Everybody else is threatening violence for pranks. I, however, am threatening wish fulfillment. You want to tell me you're pregnant? I'll show you what I learned from that book my mom got me for Christmas, "How To Win Friends and Magically Inseminate the Unsuspecting." Want to tell me you're not feeling well and you think your appendix has burst? Finally, a reason to use all that knowledge I gleaned from "ER" reruns! Heard a rumor the President's been assassinated? Give me twenty minutes, cab fare and a two-by-four and I'll go check.
So, yeah. My hatred of April Fool's Day knows no bounds.
Everybody else is threatening violence for pranks. I, however, am threatening wish fulfillment. You want to tell me you're pregnant? I'll show you what I learned from that book my mom got me for Christmas, "How To Win Friends and Magically Inseminate the Unsuspecting." Want to tell me you're not feeling well and you think your appendix has burst? Finally, a reason to use all that knowledge I gleaned from "ER" reruns! Heard a rumor the President's been assassinated? Give me twenty minutes, cab fare and a two-by-four and I'll go check.
So, yeah. My hatred of April Fool's Day knows no bounds.
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I think my daughters were just happy there was no school.
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Yeeeeah... no one's thought of THAT one before.
Fuckers.
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Oh, and happy birthday. :)
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For a baby to have been born on December 25th, it should have been conceived on May 1st.
One suspects God of having the last laugh.
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It makes more sense that way.
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Hooray, hooray, the First of May!
Outdoor shagging starts today!
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But I bring quotage. Adolescence of P-1 by Thomas J. Ryan. The main character and his girlfriend have sex... oh, some distance from the actual road. The author tells us the details are left to our imaginations, but then adds,
"The details weren't left the imaginations of the occupants of the two cars that stopped to watch along the road winding through the valley below them. Gregory waved feebly to them as he rested. They waved back. It was a momentary source of wonder to him: the detail the naked eye could perceive at a distance of half a mile."
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I am cataloguing movie news sites' AF jokes on my blog, though.
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I already had a friend tell me she's pregnant, and it's only 10 am. Rar.
Right there with you
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No, it's not cowardly. It's intelligent. Intelligence and cowardice are a long way apart.
And it worked. Cowardice involves failure (if you succeed through cowardice, it's not cowardice. It's cunning). So I'm clever, and safe, and un-joked.
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*sigh* I suppose I'll just slog through the day, then pacify myself with liquor or porn or something come tonight.
Oh, wait, we get our paychecks today. *eye roll* Okay, now I know what's going to happen.
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*waits*
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Tom Foolery
the fucker ot pranked people into committing suicide.
so yha, it's a mean spirited tradition living on. my part: i loathe this day with a passion unkown to most mortals. and if i could i'd just deal with it in the same fashion one usually deals with naughty mosquitos or the goddamn asian ladybugs(biting smegtards)
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This year, I made up funky, fake panels for
And, of course, the preteen had to score off me this morning with "Your shoelace is untied, Mom". Heh. Wouldn't be April 1 without that. :)
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I don't play pranks. I'm too lazy. Good pranks involve too much effort, both in the setup and the ensuring that nobody actually gets hurt.
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Quite frankly, April Fools Day always annoys me. Sure, there are some neat stunts some people do that are amusing and harmless, but there's always someone who thinks it's amusing to pretend to have commited suicide, joined the army, gone to Russia and been conscripted into the army, or something else. Particularly on the internet where you can't actually reach across and smack someone upside the head.
Plus I live in New Zealand. It's already well into April 2nd here by the time people in the U.S. even think of doing something.
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I mean ... innuendo, giggles, and PUDDING! ...well, ok, cake. I cheated.
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God damn it.