apocalypsos: (boo misbehave)
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Title: That Kindergarten AU I Can’t Believe I’m Writing
Author: Troll Princess
Fandom: CW RPS
Pairing: Jensen/Jared
Rating: G (... duh.)
Author’s note: I hate all of you. ;P (Just pretend they’re all the same age, ‘kay?)

*

That Kindergarten AU I Can’t Believe I’m Writing

*


“The new kid is really a girl,” Chad said.

Jared, who’d been drawing a picture of his dog with his yellow crayon and his tongue poking out from between his teeth, gave Chad a confused look. “He is not,” he said.

“Is too.” Chad pointed at the new kid with the plastic spoon they used for scooping paste from the jar. He’d just smeared a big glob of paste all over the red construction paper on his desk, and Jared was pretty sure it was going to end up stuck to the back of someone’s shirt soon. Jared really hoped it wasn’t his. “Mike said the new kid’s name is Jenny and that’s a girl’s name.”

“That’s not his whole name.”

“So? He’s still a girl.”

Jared made a face, wrinkling up his nose. “Is not. If he were you woulda thrown pudding at his head like you did to Sophia.”

“I did not,” Chad said.

“It was my pudding,” Jared said.

Chad just shrugged.

Frowning, Jared looked over at the new kid, who’d been sitting over in the corner of the classroom reading a book since Mr. Morgan had introduced him to the class. He hadn’t even looked up when Mike had painted his face blue and told everyone he was the Cookie Monster, which was so funny they’d all still been laughing when Mr. Morgan had led him off to the bathroom to wash his face off.

Just then, the new kid looked up from his book.

Jared smiled and waved.

The new kid blushed and held the book in front of his face.

“See?” Chad said. “He’s a girl.”

“Shut up,” Jared said.

He should go get Sandy’s plastic thingy full of glitter and dump it all over Chad’s head.

*


Most of the time Jared climbed the monkey bars with Chad when they were out on the playground, but sometimes Chad ran off to chase the nursery school girls around the swing set. So Jared either had to dangle from the upper bars by himself or go play Stupidball with Tommy and Mike. Stupidball was something Mike made up involving throwing a clump of dirt at whatever Mike told you to and usually ended with Mr. Morgan making anyone playing sit in the corner during story hour.

Chad made a run for the nursery school girls as soon as they were let outside, shaking glitter from his hair the whole way. Jared thought he asked for that.

The new kid sat on a bench next to the balance beam, biting his bottom lip as he watched the other kids.

Jared shrugged to himself and walked over.

“Hi,” he said. “I’m Jared.”

The new kid flinched and said in a quiet voice, “I’m Jensen.”

He mostly said it to his shoes, which Jared thought probably already knew his name.

“You want to go climb the monkey bars with me?” Jared asked him. “I can climb all the way to the top but it’s no fun if you don’t have somebody to race there.”

It took a minute, but Jensen finally said, “Okay,” and ran off towards the monkey bars.

“Hey!” Jared yelled as he chased after him. “No fair!”

*


Jared liked Jensen.

Maybe even more than he liked Chad, but then again Chad once ate a spoonful of paste for a nickel so Jared wasn’t looking for a new best friend. The one he already had was stupid enough.

But Jensen was okay. He taught Jared three new faces to make at people out the windows while he was riding the bus home, and his mommy made more than enough double chocolate chip cookies for two people to share, and when he laughed at stuff it made Jared want to laugh, too. But Jared guessed it was hard not to laugh when Sophia pushed Chad into a mud puddle.

“I think you should kiss the new kid,” Sandy said to him at playtime.

Jared stopped running his toy car along the road painted onto the rug and looked over at Sandy, who was playing with a pair of dolls. She kept making them kiss, which she always made her dolls do. Sometimes Jared didn’t know why he played anywhere near her. One day he was going to throw up all over her and Chad would never, ever, ever stop laughing at him about it.

“I’m not going to kiss Jensen,” Jared said. “That’s gross.”

“Is not,” Sandy said. “You’re supposed to kiss people you like.”

“Who says?”

“The lady my mommy watches on TV. She says if you like someone then you should tell them, and then she told her friend that she liked him and she gave him a kiss. And then she gave everybody a car.”

Jared frowned. “Jensen can have my car,” he said hopefully, holding up the toy in his hand.

She shook her head. “You don’t get it,” she said, then kissed him on the cheek.

“Ew!” Jared rubbed at his cheek. “What’d you do that for?”

Sandy rolled her eyes and got up off the carpet. “You’re stupid.”

“Yeah, and now I have cooties,” he muttered as she walked away.

*


At the end of the day when everybody’s mommies and daddies showed up to pick them up Jared sat down in the play area to wait for his mommy, who was a teacher just like Mr. Morgan and always showed up last. Usually he spent the entire time alone, but this time Jensen sat down next to him on the carpet and grabbed one of the toy cars.

“Don’t use that one,” Jared said. “It’s got broken wheels and runs funny.”

“Oh.” Jensen smiled and switched it with another car out of the toy box. “Thanks.”

Jared just shrugged and went back to running his car along the road on the carpet, chasing after Jensen’s car and crashing the both of them into the wall since two fake exploding cars were better than one.

Jensen giggled at that, loud and high-pitched, and Jared thought about what Sandy had said.

So he leaned over and kissed Jensen on the cheek.

Jensen stopped giggling. “What was that for?” he asked.

“No reason,” Jared said.

“Oh,” Jensen said, and grinned. “Okay.”

And then Jensen’s mommy showed up, and Jensen left, and Jared spent the rest of the time until his mommy showed up thinking that maybe he should tell Jensen what Sandy had said about kissing people you like.
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