Oh, my God, even when I've got the safe relatives at a party, my mom's still scarring me for life.

[apocalypsos]

I now have in my mental possession a shiny new anecdote about my grandfather's prostate surgery and my cousin on the other side of the family calling him and pretending to be an "ejaculation therapist" over the phone.

You know, just in case all of you were wondering why I'm trying to shove Brillo through my ears.