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Jan. 25th, 2004 11:09 am![[personal profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/user.png){kind=small}
apocalypsosPirates of the Caribbean
Hee! My favorite part of the movie ... where Will Turner rubs his ass to calm it down. *giggles*
You know, after careful consideration, if Will and Elizabeth get married after the movie ends, they're going to produce such overwhelmingly pretty children anybody who looks at them will go blind and develop a stronge urge to moisturize.
And the more I watch this movie, the more I'm convinced Will doesn't stay a blacksmith, due mostly to his fancy outfit at the end. I imagine the British Navy went into the cave after the battle at the end and commandeered the gold and jewels there. Jack might not be able to benefit from a reward due to his being a pirate, but Will does have the influence of the Swans behind him. I would have bought it if there'd been some passing mention of Will receiving a reward for saving Elizabeth. It certainly would have suspended my "But a blacksmith couldn't have married a governor's daughter!" disbelief.
Also, Keira Knightley is on my Get Out of Heterosexuality Free list, but still, the fact that she wore literally no makeup but sunscreen in this movie makes me want to vomit. Nobody should be that pretty without at least ten minutes of prep, and that ten minutes of prep should not be one minute of rubbing in sunscreen and nine minutes of bitching about the smell.
Seeing Mackenzie Crook as one of the pirates gets twice as funny after seeing "The Office". I keep expecting him to bitch that the other pirates put his eyeball into a Jell-O mold.
You know, considering that the next movie I plan to watch is "Finding Nemo," part of me totally wants to buy that sea turtle story.
Also, the earth is seventy perfect underwater. With drift and whatnot, not to mention that he would have been sort of alive and able to escape, it was probably a hell of a lot easier to find Will than Bootstrap. They sunk him before they knew they needed his blood to end the curse. They go back to look for him and either he's not there or he's too deep to find. (And if he's too deep to find, that doesn't bode well, either. Have you ever seen what water pressure can do at that depth? The crews exploring the Titanic wreck dropped a styrofoam ice chest from the surface and it got squished to the size of a golf ball by the time it sunk to the bottom. Also, lungs and eardrums implode once you sink about a mile or so below the surface without an equalization in pressure. Bootstrap probably wouldn't have been very pretty anyway at a certain depth.)
Meanwhile, here comes his kid to Port Royal. They know that the child is about eight or nine years old and has the medallion. Quite frankly, why go get Bootstrap at all? Even if they had him, they still didn't have the medallion. Easier to look for the child than Bootstrap, and then Elizabeth fell into the ocean.
Now, everybody's assumed Bootstrap is dead for years (except for the crew of the Black Pearl) so if he did die when the curse ended, no great loss to anyone. (Even to Will, who didn't even know his father was a pirate.)
But I don't think he did. Given the benefit of the doubt, let's say Bootstrap was the one who stole Will's medallion from the case. He is now cursed, so sinking him to the bottom of the ocean accomplishes nothing. Let's say they did go look, and didn't find him. All he'd have to do is go hide out and live quietly until he felt hungry and horny again.
Wouldn't it be kinda neat if he showed up in the sequel? At the very least, it'd cover Disney's ass.
Hee! Elizabeth just escaped from the ship by crawling down on the rope and rowing away in that little boat. See? She might not have had a mast and sails in her bodice, but she definitely had a boat.
"This is my place. Between you and Jack."
"As is mine."
Yes, ladies and gentlemen, the line for a Jack/Norrington sandwich forms to the left.
"This is a beautiful sword. I would expect the man who made it to display the same care and devotion in every aspect of his life." Every time I hear him say that, I expect Norrington to propose to Jack.
Hee! My favorite part of the movie ... where Will Turner rubs his ass to calm it down. *giggles*
You know, after careful consideration, if Will and Elizabeth get married after the movie ends, they're going to produce such overwhelmingly pretty children anybody who looks at them will go blind and develop a stronge urge to moisturize.
And the more I watch this movie, the more I'm convinced Will doesn't stay a blacksmith, due mostly to his fancy outfit at the end. I imagine the British Navy went into the cave after the battle at the end and commandeered the gold and jewels there. Jack might not be able to benefit from a reward due to his being a pirate, but Will does have the influence of the Swans behind him. I would have bought it if there'd been some passing mention of Will receiving a reward for saving Elizabeth. It certainly would have suspended my "But a blacksmith couldn't have married a governor's daughter!" disbelief.
Also, Keira Knightley is on my Get Out of Heterosexuality Free list, but still, the fact that she wore literally no makeup but sunscreen in this movie makes me want to vomit. Nobody should be that pretty without at least ten minutes of prep, and that ten minutes of prep should not be one minute of rubbing in sunscreen and nine minutes of bitching about the smell.
Seeing Mackenzie Crook as one of the pirates gets twice as funny after seeing "The Office". I keep expecting him to bitch that the other pirates put his eyeball into a Jell-O mold.
You know, considering that the next movie I plan to watch is "Finding Nemo," part of me totally wants to buy that sea turtle story.
Also, the earth is seventy perfect underwater. With drift and whatnot, not to mention that he would have been sort of alive and able to escape, it was probably a hell of a lot easier to find Will than Bootstrap. They sunk him before they knew they needed his blood to end the curse. They go back to look for him and either he's not there or he's too deep to find. (And if he's too deep to find, that doesn't bode well, either. Have you ever seen what water pressure can do at that depth? The crews exploring the Titanic wreck dropped a styrofoam ice chest from the surface and it got squished to the size of a golf ball by the time it sunk to the bottom. Also, lungs and eardrums implode once you sink about a mile or so below the surface without an equalization in pressure. Bootstrap probably wouldn't have been very pretty anyway at a certain depth.)
Meanwhile, here comes his kid to Port Royal. They know that the child is about eight or nine years old and has the medallion. Quite frankly, why go get Bootstrap at all? Even if they had him, they still didn't have the medallion. Easier to look for the child than Bootstrap, and then Elizabeth fell into the ocean.
Now, everybody's assumed Bootstrap is dead for years (except for the crew of the Black Pearl) so if he did die when the curse ended, no great loss to anyone. (Even to Will, who didn't even know his father was a pirate.)
But I don't think he did. Given the benefit of the doubt, let's say Bootstrap was the one who stole Will's medallion from the case. He is now cursed, so sinking him to the bottom of the ocean accomplishes nothing. Let's say they did go look, and didn't find him. All he'd have to do is go hide out and live quietly until he felt hungry and horny again.
Wouldn't it be kinda neat if he showed up in the sequel? At the very least, it'd cover Disney's ass.
Hee! Elizabeth just escaped from the ship by crawling down on the rope and rowing away in that little boat. See? She might not have had a mast and sails in her bodice, but she definitely had a boat.
"This is my place. Between you and Jack."
"As is mine."
Yes, ladies and gentlemen, the line for a Jack/Norrington sandwich forms to the left.
"This is a beautiful sword. I would expect the man who made it to display the same care and devotion in every aspect of his life." Every time I hear him say that, I expect Norrington to propose to Jack.
