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Today I was playing around with the baggie of names for the next round of the Pairing List That Ate Fandom, and I pulled Dawn Summers and Jareth the Goblin King.

Dude, I may need nuclear weaponry to kill the plotbunny that attacked me for that one.

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I was just listening to the radio when the DJ said the following in a jokey entertainment news report: "Rebecca Romijn-Stamos said that infidelity had nothing to do with her decision to separate from her husband John Stamos ..."

And I said out loud, "She said it was because she woke up one morning and realized she was married to John Stamos."

The DJ then repeated exactly what I said, word for word.

So I sign up for the job to write those crappy jokes where, exactly?

Yes, I'm spamming LJ, but I'm incredibly bored.

Not knowing any Spanish, Lieutenant Asshat just asked me when Cinco de Mayo was.

I said, "It's May fifth. I learned that from Sesame Street. I believe that was the episode Big Bird got wasted and puked in Oscar's garbage can."

So. The DVD situation, as it stands.

Well, there's a nice big old stack of the buggers coming to me from my Amazon wish list (and my esteemed and grateful thanks for my precious crack ... er, movies), so I've got that going for me.

Then, the other day, I dipped into my meager savings because God forbid my collection should be marred by empty, lonely DVD cases, and I picked up four of the movies I was missing, along with "Master & Commander." The only good thing about buying the movies all over again was that I could replace the fullscreen copies of "Underworld" and "X2" I accidentally got with the widescreen versions. (I haven't gotten "Underworld" yet, but that can wait.) At this point, I desperately need to pick up widescreen when I buy DVDs, because I feel like I'm missing out (which, let's face it, I am) when they hack off the ends and make it fullscreen. If one more person asks me, "Don't those black bars on the top and bottom bother you?" I'm going to yodel. (Hell, making someone resort to screaming is easy, damn it. Resorting to yodeling? That's when you know their spirit's been broken.) It's been my experience that these are usually the same people who absolutely refuse to see any movie in a language other than their own because they don't go to the movies to read for two hours. *growls* Yes, I'm a movie snob. But at least I realize it and avoid the teeming masses accordingly.

And as a splurge -- and God knows why I didn't do this in the first place -- I picked up the X-Men Collection set. *squees*

Then today, I got paid, so I picked up The Office Season Two, which will be my present this weekend for getting any writing done. (Seriously, anything at all. Well, anything that's not the Pairing List, anyway.) Also, I was walking through the horror section and this Chinese horror movie caught my eye, mostly because the cover is an amusement park ride featuring a giant creepy clown head. And as we all know, clowns are the one of the lowest forms of evil, right above tuna casserole and below the entire run of "Growing Pains."

So I bought the movie, because I'm all spontaneous like that, and when I got back on the bus, I cracked it open, and guess what fell out? 3-D glasses! Dude, I now own a 3-D Chinese horror movie with a clown on the cover. That's it! My collection is complete! This is my thesis, man! I can stop watching TV!

... er, yeah.

EDIT: I think I need to alphabetize them. Sheesh, I can't believe I haven't already.

Oh, God, I'm such an incredible dork.