Of all of the things I could have done without at my aunt's surprise birthday party ...

[apocalypsos]

... having my 17-year-old cousin show me her new phone with the Confederate flag emblazoned across it right before she told me she hangs out with "n*****-haters" who hate "colored people" and she's proud of that was probably the biggest one.

Oh, and my brother slept through the whole thing. He knows he's in trouble, because even *I* got mad and hung up on him when he tried to apologize. (Granted, he was supposed to give me a ride there, so my dad had to leave the party and come pick me up, so I had good reason to be angry.)

Comments

[apiphile.livejournal.com]

WHAT.

[sweill.livejournal.com]

Some times, it just boggles the mind that people think its OKAY to say that stuff out loud...

-sigh-

Families, man. They can really complicate life.

[marag.livejournal.com]

Oh. Yay.

Having never been in that situation, what precisely do you say? I would imagine Miss Manners would suggest something along the lines of a dry "How...nice for you." Followed by backing away quickly.

[apocalypsos.livejournal.com]

Oh, I tore into her as politely as I could manage considering we were at a birthday party for my aunt surrounded by all of my relatives, included my cousin and her husband who once argued to me that the NAACP is racist and that cousin's sister who makes uncomfortable remarks about another cousin's mixed-race daughter whenever given the opportunity.

[apocalypsos.livejournal.com]

Well, let's see. I ...

-- Calmly told her never to say the N-word around me again or I wouldn't be responsible for my actions.
-- When asked what she was supposed to call them, I said, "Bigots. If you're so proud to hang out with them because of that, don't sugarcoat it."
-- Then badgered her until she took back "colored people" and said, "Is black people okay, then?" in this snotty voice.
-- Turned my full attention back to her younger brother, who seemed to be highly amused that I called her on it.

[marag.livejournal.com]

Go you!!! I suck at confrontation, so I have no idea what I would do. I would hope I would say those things.

[nycdeb.livejournal.com]

OMG! Something similar happened to me at a cousin's wedding not too long ago. I took a line suggested by Dear Abby - though it was for a slightly different situation.

Since I was surrounded by relatives and was rather fond of the idiot's parents, I didn't want to turn the party into a free for all. Abby has suggested when someone asked too personal a question, you simply reply "What a very personal question? What on earth made you think I would answer such a thing?"

Improvising on that idea, I widened my eyes as much as possible and saying "My goodness, what a remarkably racist thing to say. I'm all for having the courage of one's convictions - as repulsive as they might be since this is America after all - but one wonders that you are willing speak such ignorance aloud."

Best accomplished with a slightly southern accent of the "Steel Magnolia School of Delivery"

I still use Abby's answer for personal questions. Works every time.

[nycdeb.livejournal.com]

rock on!

[laughingrat.livejournal.com]

Ugh, oh gawd.

[anne-jumps.livejournal.com]

I think Miss Manners has advocated, on a similar note, simply saying "You must be so embarrassed."

[harmonyfb.livejournal.com]

I didn't know we were related - you were obviously at a party with some of MY extended cousins. UGH.

Look at it this way - at least you know what name to give the police when a hate crime happens in your town.

[beanarie.livejournal.com]

But. But bigotry is DEAD, haven't you heard? It's Obama's Post-Racial America!

[lilacsigil.livejournal.com]

Most 17-year-olds are stupid, but at least they can grow out of it. I hope she does!

~

[honorh.livejournal.com]

She probably believes she's being ~edgy~. I hope she'll be very, very embarrassed about it in the coming years.

Re: ~

[apocalypsos.livejournal.com]

Oh, she definitely thinks she's being ~edgy~. She's also done two lip piercings on herself with a needle in the back of a car while she was drunk.

Also, if you follow Neil Gaiman's blog, she looks exactly like Maddie Gaiman.

[astaria51.livejournal.com]

I know she's a 17 year old and she almost definitely WANTS to be shocking, but I would have smacked her across the face.

[astaria51.livejournal.com]

Well played :D

[lots42.livejournal.com]

I say go to the store, find the G.I.Joe figures of Roadblock and Doc (both black) and send them to her.

Say nothing. Claim innocence.

Then whenever you can, send her fiction featuring black folks. See how long it takes for her to blow her shit.

[lots42.livejournal.com]

And then what happened.

[lots42.livejournal.com]

Okay, I posted that before I understood you tore into her. But now you have Christmas gift ideas!

Re: ~

[lots42.livejournal.com]

I'm surprised she still has a lip.

[nycdeb.livejournal.com]

she went all indignant on me "How dare I say such a thing to her," etc. but another relative told her that if she insisted on saying stupid ignorant crap she should get used to being treated like stupid ignorant crap.

[wordsindreams.livejournal.com]

I'm afraid that if one of my relative had said that to me, my reaction would of been a bit more physical than yours...