(no subject)

[apocalypsos]

GREENVILLE, S.C. - Bob Jones III, president of the fundamentalist college that bears his name, has told President Bush he should use his electoral mandate to appoint conservative judges and approve legislation "defined by biblical norm."

I'm sorry ... excuse me?!

I'm just going to cut and paste exactly what I said on tviokh's journal, which is this (quotes from the article in italics):

"In your re-election, God has graciously granted America — though she doesn't deserve it — a reprieve from the agenda of paganism," Jones wrote Bush in a congratulatory letter posted on the university's Web site.

Wait, is the pagan agenda like the gay agenda, but with less slash? I'd like to know these things, and nobody gave me my goddamn How to Push the Pagan Agenda manual. All I got was "An thou harm none, so mote it be" and that doesn't tell me anything about discriminating against other religions like a gigantic asshat.

You owe the liberals nothing.

Well, he may not owe us anything (aside from a religious-zealotry-free life), but he might want to keep in mind that 55 million people voted against him and you really don't want to piss off that many people. (Never mind that pissing off 5 billion other people on the planet doesn't seem to bother him any.)

They despise you because they despise your Christ.

Wait, are we talking about Jesus Christ? Because I could have sworn that he was the Christ of anyone who wanted him. My mistake. I'll just go over in the corner and go back to wasting valuable energy hating a peace-loving hippie like myself.

*elbows God in the side* You know, if you want to pull that Rapture crap right now, I don't think any of the rest of us would mind. Then you could sort the sane Christians from jerks like this. *eye roll*

Comments

[shinga.livejournal.com]

"Agenda"... I HATE that word. Why does EVERYONE have a FRIGGIN agenda?! It's like the new fad, everybody-who-I-don't-agree-with has an AGENDA. I must've missed a memo.

[eiluned.livejournal.com]

You haven't heard of the Pagan Agenda? We plan on having every third baby born in the US sacrificed to the Dark Lord, and we want demonic ritual taught at kindergarten level. And there's some stuff about tree hugging in there, but we don't mention that for fear of scaring off the conservatives.

[hemlock-martini.livejournal.com]

In February 2000, Bush spoke at Bob Jones University when he was running for his first term in the White House.

What's that old saying about laying down with dogs and waking up with fleas?...or making your own bed, and now you have to lay in it...or something about screwing the pooch...I dunno. Anything to infer the Religious Right and beastiality. Two great tastes that taste great together!

[adjectivegirl.livejournal.com]

HAHAHHAAHAHA "Biblical norm"?

Pull the other one, Bob! Oh wow.

[apocalypsos.livejournal.com]

It's Biblical Norm! He's the Cheers regular who won't shut up about the Old Testament!

Yes, I've had sugar and caffeine. Why do you ask? ;)

pagan agenda

[http://users.livejournal.com/_inbetween_/]

huh, he found me out. the day bush got elected i wrote my first pagan slash fic.

[dawning-star.livejournal.com]

Because we're all about satanism and evil. *nods emphatically*

Re: pagan agenda

[apocalypsos.livejournal.com]

So far, the only pagan agenda I've had is trying to get my conservative grandma to see my pentacle tattoo in order to start a fight, but I'm not sure that counts.

[dawning-star.livejournal.com]

I didn't know I had an agenda. I'm glad he was able to bring that to my attention.

yeah, god

[slashfairy.livejournal.com]

Frightening. Robert Heinlein was a dirty old man but a forward thinking writer-he, Asimove, all of 'em saw this coming.
Hey, Where do t get my pagan agenda manual, anyway? 'cos I've lost mine, too...
May Bob knows. think I should ask him?

I need an agenda!

[little-spyke.livejournal.com]

I'm a 30 yr old dyke, and I have yet to see a copy of "the gay agenda". I can't find one on eBay, and none of my gay friends have one I can borrow. Are copies of "the pagan agenda" any easier to find???

Seriously though, fundamentalists like this guy scare me. And the fact that our president is associated with them scares me even more.

[sideofzen.livejournal.com]

Okay, this is a little of tangent, but still.

I don't know if you watch Drawn Together (animated reality series) on Comedy Central, but on the latest episode it was all about one of the characters being gay and at the end, God came on and professed his love for the gays in the confession room. Very funny.

[harmonyfb.livejournal.com]

Wait, is the pagan agenda like the gay agenda, but with less slash? I'd like to know these things, and nobody gave me my goddamn How to Push the Pagan Agenda manual. All I got was "An thou harm none, so mote it be" and that doesn't tell me anything about discriminating against other religions like a gigantic asshat.

The Pagan Agenda (capital letters) is "Quit acting like an asshole and quit trying to make your religion's laws the laws of this secular nation."

The pagan agenda (small letters) - at least in this house - is "Try to bring oneself into balance with the universe, or failing that, at least pick up your own damn underwear out of the floor and put it in the HAMPER!" You know, that whole personal responsibility thing. ::scowls at the household-wide trail of dishes left by the children::

Re: I need an agenda!

[apocalypsos.livejournal.com]

I know! I can't find any of the Agenda series -- The Gay Agenda, The Pagan Agenda, or the rarely-mentioned Feminist Agenda. I have a feeling they'd be really good, too ... like Laurell K. Hamilton's book if all the porn was realistic and actually sexy.

Hmm. I may have to check Borders before I go home today.

[fallofrain.livejournal.com]

The... pagan agenda?

I didn't know I had an agenda. Someone forgot to leave me a memo.

[apocalypsos.livejournal.com]

I know. So far, the worst pagan agenda any one of us has come up with is "Your dirty underwear goes in the hamper, not on the floor!" I cannot begin to imagine what a threat that must be to the God-fearing masses.

[fallofrain.livejournal.com]

Well, I found The GAY Agenda, but no such luck locating a PAGAN agenda.

Or do you think he's been watching Dragnet a little bit too much and thinks 'pagan' really does stand for 'People Against Goodness And Normalcy'?

you are cute and I do love you

[slashfairy.livejournal.com]

oops, sorry *picks up laundry*
There is the Pagan Book of Living and Dying, by Starhawk. But it's just a text, not the agenda. Has anyone seen my syllabus for "Pagans in America 101"?
Wouldn't that be fun? to write all that? all the agendas, and the syllabi, and all? Oh, and not gat arrested, I mean...

[nadmonk.livejournal.com]

Although it hurts the reasonable part of my brain that wants things better RIGHT NOW, the more insane, fundamentalist, bible thumping, crack-headed the Bush administration is, the bigger the backlash will be in 2008. At least I hope...

[gypsyjr.livejournal.com]

I weep for America's sanity.

What little it's got left, anyway.

[greenie-breizh.livejournal.com]

Wait, is the pagan agenda like the gay agenda, but with less slash? I'd like to know these things, and nobody gave me my goddamn How to Push the Pagan Agenda manual.

LOL to your first statement.

And if it helps, I never got my How to Push the Homosexual Agendal manual either. Our Great Masters probably don't want to actually spend the money on printing those agendas, they figure we'll know what's in it anyway. Sigh. We're evil *and* cheap.


/end sarcasm in case anyone doubted it

[tamnonlinear.livejournal.com]

I'm not quite up to an agenda, being rather disorganized and disinclined to join organizations. Can I just get a copy of the free-thinker's post-it note?

[genepool23.livejournal.com]

I guess wanting to be left alone to worship how and when (or if) you want to is an agenda.

Filthy Pagans! They hate our freedom!

[casapazzo.livejournal.com]

I gotta say, thank god you're here to make me laugh about crap like this, otherwise I'd surely be crying.

::boggles at the sheer idiotic scary-ass zealotry::

[adjectivegirl.livejournal.com]

Mwah. Now I have a full-blown utterly terrifying Cheers/Scripture crossover AU begging to be drowned in the bathytub.