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apocalypsosWhich may the first time the hippies have gotten a genuine laugh out of me so far this season.
Dear Fratards,
Jesus, you two just have the luck of the evil, don't you? Although I suppose I should give you some credit for not being as repulsive as you normally are tonight, and I can even give you leeway for talking about girls with that German guy, if only because "Boy, girls are pretty, huh?" is a fairly universal way for guys to bond.
But still, KNOCK IT OFF. I saw vague hints tonight of what you might look like if you were charming rather than stupid, and it just pissed me off.
Because ... "tongue wrestling"? *gags*
Sincerely,
Me
*****
Dear BJ and Tyler,
You get props from me for knowing German. You lose them three times over for never laying off the fucking mugging. You mean well, but JESUS. When you're not acting like you need the world's largest dosage of Ritalin, you're actually not that bad, but you're acting that way all the damn time.
Sincerely,
Me
*****
Dear Lake and Michelle,
Well, at least you weren't too assy this week. See what happens when you shut up and Raaaaaace?
You still suck, though.
Sincerely,
Me
*****
Dear Fran and Barry,
You know, I thought we were going to lose you when you chose the dancing, but it turned out to be a good thing, apparently. You did well, and you didn't whine about being out, and you looked like adorable little old people in your adorable little lederhosen. So hurray for you for not being huge drains on my entertainment value for once. :)
Sincerely,
Me
*****
Dear Dave and Lori,
Never scare me by being in last place for anything ever again! *cuddles you*
Speaking of people who look adorable in lederhosen, I think you should put those in your Christmas cards. HEE!
Sincerely,
Me
*****
Dear Joseph and Monica,
You two are cute, too, and you did a damn fine job with the dancing. And the looks on your faces on the Wall? BWAH.
Sincerely,
Me
*****
Dear Ray and Yolanda,
You're doing fine, dolls. Just stay in the game.
Sincerely,
Me
*****
Dear Danielle and Dani,
I'm sick and tired of you competing for last place, too. Bad taste in men aside, you're not that bad.
Sincerely,
Me
*****
Dear Wanda and Desiree,
Aw, man, I liked you two. And considering how you're dancing in your credits clip, it's too bad you didn't get to that Detour earlier. You would have kicked ass.
But, you know, haystacks. *shrugs*
Sincerely,
Me
*****
Dear German greeter,
They just hired you because you look like the Travelocity gnome, you know. Mmm-hmm.
Sincerely,
Me
*****
Next week: I want to hug Lori like WHOA.
EDIT: "What are you waiting for?! Say, 'NO!'" HEE! I love Jon Stewart. :)
Dear Fratards,
Jesus, you two just have the luck of the evil, don't you? Although I suppose I should give you some credit for not being as repulsive as you normally are tonight, and I can even give you leeway for talking about girls with that German guy, if only because "Boy, girls are pretty, huh?" is a fairly universal way for guys to bond.
But still, KNOCK IT OFF. I saw vague hints tonight of what you might look like if you were charming rather than stupid, and it just pissed me off.
Because ... "tongue wrestling"? *gags*
Sincerely,
Me
*****
Dear BJ and Tyler,
You get props from me for knowing German. You lose them three times over for never laying off the fucking mugging. You mean well, but JESUS. When you're not acting like you need the world's largest dosage of Ritalin, you're actually not that bad, but you're acting that way all the damn time.
Sincerely,
Me
*****
Dear Lake and Michelle,
Well, at least you weren't too assy this week. See what happens when you shut up and Raaaaaace?
You still suck, though.
Sincerely,
Me
*****
Dear Fran and Barry,
You know, I thought we were going to lose you when you chose the dancing, but it turned out to be a good thing, apparently. You did well, and you didn't whine about being out, and you looked like adorable little old people in your adorable little lederhosen. So hurray for you for not being huge drains on my entertainment value for once. :)
Sincerely,
Me
*****
Dear Dave and Lori,
Never scare me by being in last place for anything ever again! *cuddles you*
Speaking of people who look adorable in lederhosen, I think you should put those in your Christmas cards. HEE!
Sincerely,
Me
*****
Dear Joseph and Monica,
You two are cute, too, and you did a damn fine job with the dancing. And the looks on your faces on the Wall? BWAH.
Sincerely,
Me
*****
Dear Ray and Yolanda,
You're doing fine, dolls. Just stay in the game.
Sincerely,
Me
*****
Dear Danielle and Dani,
I'm sick and tired of you competing for last place, too. Bad taste in men aside, you're not that bad.
Sincerely,
Me
*****
Dear Wanda and Desiree,
Aw, man, I liked you two. And considering how you're dancing in your credits clip, it's too bad you didn't get to that Detour earlier. You would have kicked ass.
But, you know, haystacks. *shrugs*
Sincerely,
Me
*****
Dear German greeter,
They just hired you because you look like the Travelocity gnome, you know. Mmm-hmm.
Sincerely,
Me
*****
Next week: I want to hug Lori like WHOA.
EDIT: "What are you waiting for?! Say, 'NO!'" HEE! I love Jon Stewart. :)
