I'm going to get him a teeny tiny nametag. "Hello, my name is Bruce."

[apocalypsos]

There's a bat loose in my place of employment.

It's kind of cute, really, this itty bitty little brown bat just flapping around all lost and confused. Oh, sure, everybody else just flips right the hell out, but it flew through our section last night for a good half hour so I grabbed a garbage can and ran around like a goofball trying to catch the bugger so I could take him outside and set him free.

You know what I could have used? A teeny tiny Batsignal.

Co-worker: All bats have rabies.
Me: Oh, they do not.
Co-worker: Did that one have rabies?
Me: *eye roll* Yes, I gave him a test and everything. He had a hard time holding the pencil.

Other co-worker: You're sure he doesn't have rabies?
Me: Well, he's not frothing at his tiny mouth.
Other co-worker: Maybe all the foam flew off with all of the flapping.
Me: He's disguising his illness with the effects of wind resistance?

Me: His name is Bruce.
Other other co-worker: Sure, it is.
Me: It is! And he's got an even tinier ward bat in itty bitty tights.

You know, I have a T-shirt with a bat on it. Well, I know what I'm wearing to work tomorrow. *snickers*

Comments

[scribewraith.livejournal.com]

ok what's kind of weird and batlike but not about a bat but about weird batlike coincidences was getting on the train this morning to be stared at by a guy wearing a batman shirt (I'm wearing my batman/joker/poison ivy/harley/batgirl shirt) and then getting on the next train to sit next to a guy reading a batman graphic novel and then getting this post...

must get bats tattoo!

[squee1123.livejournal.com]

hee! we've had birds in our school cafeteria (senoir pranks), no one really freaked out until the janitors tried to get the birds out BY THROWING BASKETBALLS AT WHERE THEY WERE PERCHED then a couple of people were outaged at their methods. I'm not sure if they got hurt or not, either way they could have found better ways of going about it.

[witchofthedogs.livejournal.com]

Yes, I gave him a test and everything. He had a hard time holding the pencil.

OMG.

I so desperately needed that laugh.

[slashfairy.livejournal.com]

no shit, me too.
does he have batman underoos on too? i love you, TP, just fucking love you, and your little friendslist, too!

[vass]

Aww, Bruce the bat! So adorable!

His even tinier ward is a bird, though.

[chevauchee.livejournal.com]

In booty shorts panties!

Would the panties have a tail feather hole, you think?

[bitter-longing.livejournal.com]

Considering that bats are renowned for their skills in echolocation they do seem to have a tendency to get trapped in buildings.

I woke one morning to find a pipistrille swimming in my toilet bowl. Apparently the combination of open window, closed door and raised toilet seat had proved too much for him. Little fellow was a bit wet but seemed otherwise unharmed.

It’s probably a good thing for batkind that I awoke before my housemate that day...

[beautifulstars.livejournal.com]

Out of curiousity, what's a pipistrille?

[katarik.livejournal.com]

The smallest bat in the world, native -- IIRC -- to England.

[beautifulstars.livejournal.com]

what a cute name for them!

[karma-aster.livejournal.com]

You sure that's not the bumblebee bat (http://web.cecs.pdx.edu/~timm/dm/bumblebee.html)?

[harmonyfb.livejournal.com]

Actually rabies tends to be endemic among the bat and raccoon populations in the US.

From the CDC website:

"From 1990 through 2000, bat RABV variants have emerged as the predominant cause of human rabies in the United States.

In the past 11 years, total human rabies deaths have averaged 2.9/year, and 24 (75%) of 32 deaths were due to bat RABV variants. If the six cases caused by foreign canine RABV variants are excluded, then 24 (92%) of the 26 human rabies deaths acquired domestically were caused by bat RABV variants. The other two cases were due to a dog/coyote RABV variant found in Texas (4)."

and

"Confusion remains about potential exposures to rabies from bats. Only 2 (8%) of the 24 patients with human rabies caused by bat RABV variants had a definitive history of a bat bite. Nine patients (38%) had a history of direct physical contact with bats, 5 (21%) had a history of a bat inside the living area, and 8 (33%) had no history of proximity to bats (4)."

I would suggest that you NOT handle the bat in any way, shape or form, and if you came into contact with it, discuss it with your doctor. Seriously.

[apocalypsos.livejournal.com]

Oh, I know that, God knows I'm not going to handle it. I'm pretty sure it got out of the building last night through the docks.

[gweneiriol.livejournal.com]

*giggles*

[dolimir-k.livejournal.com]

*snuggles you*

You're such a good person!! Goofy as hell, but a good soul!

[aint2nuts.livejournal.com]

bats can carry rabies without having the symtoms of rabies. I agree with what someone else said, get thee to a doctor.

[apocalypsos.livejournal.com]

I didn't even get near the thing, honestly. Mostly, the garbage can thing was a joke. Seriously, catching a bat with a trash can? I'm not even THAT stupid.

[aint2nuts.livejournal.com]

Hey I WOULD have tried the trash can to catch him-her.
The Bat signal would have been easier though.

[katbcoll.livejournal.com]

*laughs* Can't wait to hear about the reactions to the shirt!

I hope Bruce stays around and becomes a valuable employee. Or at least your very own mascot.

[paddle-slut.livejournal.com]

*histarical laughter* omg, i can just see you running around with a garbage can after a little tiny bat...wish you guys had had a camera!

[moire2.livejournal.com]

Co-worker: Did that one have rabies?
Me: *eye roll* Yes, I gave him a test and everything. He had a hard time holding the pencil.

Hee!

[medie]

It is! And he's got an even tinier ward bat in itty bitty tights.

see, I should be annoyed at you for imagining this little batverse in your office but I'm too busy trying not to die laughing in the library. It's just...omg!so cute!

Nevertheless, I'd be the one trying to figure out how to capture the guy without actually touching him because I'm just that unlucky that the little guy would be a sekrit little bat!terrorist carrying ebola or some such.

[apocalypsos.livejournal.com]

Yeah, well, there was much chance of me coming anywhere near the bat as there was of me waking up next to Jensen Ackles. Every time the thing came anywhere near me, he turned right back around and flew off in the opposite direction.

[medie]

Awwww...he did? Well there you go, it must be Bruce. Antisocial! And as for waking up next to Jensen Ackles, I invoke "Angels In The Outfield" and say "it could happen!"

Heh.

[seferin.livejournal.com]

May I metaquote?

Co-worker: All bats have rabies.
Me: Oh, they do not.
Co-worker: Did that one have rabies?
Me: *eye roll* Yes, I gave him a test and everything. He had a hard time holding the pencil.

Other co-worker: You're sure he doesn't have rabies?
Me: Well, he's not frothing at his tiny mouth.
Other co-worker: Maybe all the foam flew off with all of the flapping.
Me: He's disguising his illness with the effects of wind resistance?

Me: His name is Bruce.
Other other co-worker: Sure, it is.
Me: It is! And he's got an even tinier ward bat in itty bitty tights.

Re: Heh.

[apocalypsos.livejournal.com]

*snickers* Yeah, sure, go ahead. :)

[tabaqui]

Might be easier to ground him by tossing a towel over him. Then he's all wrapped up in something so you don't need to actually touch him to get him outside.

And bats need to swoop *down* to take off, so you'll have to put him up somewhere kinda high so he can fly off. On a tree-trunk or something.

Call your local Conservation department or even ASPCA and ask about bats and good ways to catch them - they might even just send somebody out. Poor little bat! He's probably *very* hungy!

[apocalypsos.livejournal.com]

True, but I would have had to find a towel in a CD factory. ;)

And I doubt that work would call in someone to get rid of him. They barely allow in delivery guys when we order food. Right now, they seem to be settling for having me act like an idiot and scare the little thing off to keep him from spooking the employees. *eye roll*

[tabaqui]

Ummm. Bring the towel from home. And i'd still make the call 'cause they might have some novel way of catching the poor guy before he starves to death.
*shudder*

[apocalypsos.livejournal.com]

Well, yeah, tonight I can do that. Last night I was sort of screwed on that account. ;)

I don't think he'd starve to death in there, though. He's just the kind that eats bugs, and God knows that place could use an exterminator. I keep getting called over to other lines to squish bugs and it's my job to get rid of the mouse in the break room if it ever comes out again because no one will touch it. (*snickers* Funny how the tiniest girl at work is the one not afraid of creepy-crawlies. ;))

[tabaqui]

Yeah, people are weird, aren't they? We used to throw clothespins up into the air for the bats to catch. They realized they weren't bugs and they'd drop them again - great fun!
:)

[4492.livejournal.com]

Here from Metaquotes.

Me: His name is Bruce.
Other other co-worker: Sure, it is.
Me: It is! And he's got an even tinier ward bat in itty bitty tights.

This took me SO long to get, even with random peoples Batman icons. I'm having SUCH an off day! But this was brilliant!

[wufeidragon.livejournal.com]

I was disappointed when I discovered that you were not talking about Bruce Campbell. But Bruce Wayne is almost as good.

[mylenn.livejournal.com]

Me: It is! And he's got an even tinier ward bat in itty bitty tights.

That's FABULOUS.


That is all.

[aboulic2.livejournal.com]

Might I suggest: https://starlinemedia.net/xcart/product.php?productid=16181&cat=256&page=2

I doubt they do them in the bat's size though.