The producers need to invest in muzzles.

[apocalypsos]

In letters to the designers, just because that's the way my brain's working right now.

*****

Dear Alison,

Oh, sweetie. *cuddles*

That dress was ugly. That bow thing was ridiculous. But you're just so darn ADORABLE. I shall miss you, because the asshole population is growing.

Also, "It's a good thing that you're wearing your riding outfit just in case it's horses." *snickers* You're cute when you're bitchy.

*****

Dear Michael,

YAAAAAAAAAAAY!

Also, please to not be teaching Laura hip-hop. It frightens me.

*****

Dear Jeffrey,

SHUT IT. I liked your dress for once, and you fucked it up by being your usual self. You can't keep your mouth shut for five minutes?

*****

Dear Laura,

Was it entirely necessary to start shit with Vincent when Alison had just gotten kicked off? You couldn't wait until later, when Alison had left? For crying out loud, I like Alison, damn it, so ruining her departure grates. (Sort of like cheese on your sternum.)

Also, you're getting bitchier, and it's not amusing me. Knock it off. The last thing the world needs is two Wendy Peppers.

Your dress was cute, though. *sigh*

*****

Dear Robert,

Your dress made up for the travesties of the last few weeks, although it did look vaguely like Angela's Audrey Hepburn dress from last week. Whatever. You're snarky and you make me giggle. Yes, even when you're ripping into Laura with Kayne, although I'm starting to get the impression that she's asking for it.

Also, the crack about recycling boyfriends? *giggles*

*****

Dear Vincent,

You are on CRACK. Or you were raised by wolves. I can't decide.

Seriously, what the hell is wrong with you? Is it contagious? Should we be concerned about the general population? GYAH.

Vincent: "I want to make the opposite of garbage. I want to create art."
Me: "Well, there's a first time for everything."

*****

Dear Uli,

Cute dress, sweetie. ADORED the braiding.

*****

Dear Andrea,

Wow. I didn't like the style of the outfit, but considering the materials, you did a decent job. I can't believe I'm starting to like you now, but with Jeffrey being a self-centered misogynistic prick and Vincent being extremely fucking batshit insane and Laura doing her Pepper impression, you're not that bad anymore.

Yeah, I KNOW. I don't get it, either.

*****

Dear Kayne,

Well, at least you realized it was a disaster from beginning to end. Unlike some people whose name begins with a BATSHIT INSANE.

*****