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Oct. 23rd, 2003 09:21 am![[personal profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/user.png){kind=small}
apocalypsosAll right, that's it. I'm sick of being one of a few people on my friends list and beyond who's hooked on Jake 2.0. I should not have to explain my superpowered geek obsession to everyone, damn it.
Your mission, should you choose to accept it, is to tape "Angel" and watch "Jake 2.0". You have no excuse. (Except that you don't have UPN. Make friends with someone who does by Wednesday, the same way you make friends with the guy in the dorm who has a car in college.)
What? You say you know nothing about Jake?
Characters:
Jake Foley: Our adorable superpowered hero. *fangirl sigh* Jake was an IT tech at the NSA, living with his roommate Darrin and feeling pathetic at every turn. But one day, as he was working on a computer in an NSA lab, one of the scientists went wacko and shot the place up. Jake got injured, and in went the nanites.
Nanites are tiny, itty bitty, teeny weeny computers which are just as adorable as their host. Aww. Wooka da widdle ... oh, sorry. So what do the nanites give to Jake?
1. Superstrength.
2. Superspeed.
3. Heightened senses.
4. Telepathic control over computers.
5. Muscle cramps, wooziness, coma, possible death. (Yeah, not everything can be an upside, all right?)
Because of this development, Jake finally got moved up from IT tech to actual, honest-to-goodness spy. They also moved him into a new snazzy apartment above an Italian restaurant and moved Darrin to the land of Failed Grunge Slacker Sidekicks. Jake now works with Kyle, who is Chock Full O' Superspy Know-How; Louise, who's the Big Boss Lady; and Diane, who has as much chemistry with Jake as his college crush Sarah has with alcoholic beverages.
Sarah Heywood: Jake's college crush, although the way she talks, you'd think the reasons Jake fell for her in college were either because he had the best fake ID in the dorm or he was the only person on campus who could out-drink her. Girl likes beer. Correction ... girl loooooooves beer. It's entirely possible that Sarah's dreams consist of her merrily prancing through the Happy, Happy Land of Buds and Coors with the world's largest beer hat on. Of course, now that she works for some politician, she drinks champagne, although she did try to talk Jake into skipping out on a job to go drink beer. That's Sarah for you.
So far, Sarah's managed to piss off the IRA, like you do, and go all Inspector Gadget trying to figure out where some of the politician's missing fundage was going, which was towards the nanite project. (And yes, the urge to turn that Inspector Gadget crack into a bottle opener joke was overwhelming. I got over it.)
Watch enough episodes, and the sudden appearance of Sarah (which happens more often than you'd think in the most seriously unlikely of places) will start to cause an almost Pavlovian scream out of you.
Doctor Diane Hughes: Jake's doctor at the NSA, who has a crush on him because she's obviously a woman of impeccable tastes. Diane is very small and hyper and brown and looks amazing when you stick her into a one-shoulder black dress.
In the wedding episode, Diane had to "kill" Jake and then cried over his body. It was very sad and very sweet all at once. Plus, there was the two of them on the same bed and there was straddling, which is the closest Jake and Diane are going to get to actual sex until the writers realize that the audience sees Sarah and immediately hears the theme to the Wicked Witch of the West in our heads.
Kyle Duarte: Jake's partner at the NSA. Kyle was stuck at a desk job until Jake turned into Nanite Boy, but now he's not, which means he gets to do cool things like make out with hot double agents at the Chinese embassy. Aw, yeeeeah.
Louise: All you need know about Louise is that she's the Big Boss Lady and she knows her shit. Oh, and that she nearly wouldn't let Jake go to a wedding because he might get mauled by bridesmaids.
You know, I was a bridesmaid once. I'm just sayin'.
Episodes:
Pilot: Jake runs into Sarah. In a bar. And all she talks about is getting drunk in college, setting a precedent for nearly every other time she ever sees him. (Or at least it feels that way.) Jake gets injured and all filled up with nanites. Aw, poor Ja-- Wait, does he have his shirt off? Good Jake! Let's make you an agent! You know, after you save Sarah from Stereotypical IRA Thug.
Training Day: Jake is being trained as an agent by Kyle. Wheeee! Diane gives Jake the Desk Lamp of True Love. Ha! Sarah never gave Jake a desk lamp. Probably because she turned it into a bong, but whatever. Ooo, somebody has an EMP bomb! And they snuck it into the NSA with a dismembered hand! Yeah, don't ask. Jake gets all sweaty and bloody and sexy, and then saves the day. Yay!
Cater Waiter: Jake goes undercover as a cater waiter. The audience is heartened to see that the writers understand our need to see Jake in anything resembling formal wear. It's all a dirty, dirty trick to get to Kyle, but Jake saves him.
Arms and the Girl: Jake ends up tailing (hey, minds out of the gutter!) an arms dealer's daughter. Except the arms dealer died two years ago and Daddy's Little Girl is now dealing. Jake should have known that a girl who once played Lance Bass's love interest can be nothing but pure evil.
The Good, The Bad, and The Geeky: Jake infiltrates a group of hackers to stop them from downing a computer company's private jet. The female hacker flings herself at him, making her yet another woman who's infinitely smarter than Sarah.
Last Man Standing: Jake goes to be best man at his friend's wedding, where a strange guy is stalking him. No, wait ... it's actually the nanites killing him. My bad. Diane reboots the nanites, which kills Jake for about a minute and results in much wailing and hand-snuggling from Diane. Jake then comes to, but the only reason they don't have enthusiastic "You're alive! I'm alive! We're all alive!" sex is because Jake has to go give his best man speech. I hope. So he does, and then he declines Sarah's dance request and goes to dance with Diane, and then he tells Diane she looks beautiful, making this the Best. Ending. EVER.
There. Now you can get by in Jake's world. :)
Your mission, should you choose to accept it, is to tape "Angel" and watch "Jake 2.0". You have no excuse. (Except that you don't have UPN. Make friends with someone who does by Wednesday, the same way you make friends with the guy in the dorm who has a car in college.)
What? You say you know nothing about Jake?
Characters:
Jake Foley: Our adorable superpowered hero. *fangirl sigh* Jake was an IT tech at the NSA, living with his roommate Darrin and feeling pathetic at every turn. But one day, as he was working on a computer in an NSA lab, one of the scientists went wacko and shot the place up. Jake got injured, and in went the nanites.
Nanites are tiny, itty bitty, teeny weeny computers which are just as adorable as their host. Aww. Wooka da widdle ... oh, sorry. So what do the nanites give to Jake?
1. Superstrength.
2. Superspeed.
3. Heightened senses.
4. Telepathic control over computers.
5. Muscle cramps, wooziness, coma, possible death. (Yeah, not everything can be an upside, all right?)
Because of this development, Jake finally got moved up from IT tech to actual, honest-to-goodness spy. They also moved him into a new snazzy apartment above an Italian restaurant and moved Darrin to the land of Failed Grunge Slacker Sidekicks. Jake now works with Kyle, who is Chock Full O' Superspy Know-How; Louise, who's the Big Boss Lady; and Diane, who has as much chemistry with Jake as his college crush Sarah has with alcoholic beverages.
Sarah Heywood: Jake's college crush, although the way she talks, you'd think the reasons Jake fell for her in college were either because he had the best fake ID in the dorm or he was the only person on campus who could out-drink her. Girl likes beer. Correction ... girl loooooooves beer. It's entirely possible that Sarah's dreams consist of her merrily prancing through the Happy, Happy Land of Buds and Coors with the world's largest beer hat on. Of course, now that she works for some politician, she drinks champagne, although she did try to talk Jake into skipping out on a job to go drink beer. That's Sarah for you.
So far, Sarah's managed to piss off the IRA, like you do, and go all Inspector Gadget trying to figure out where some of the politician's missing fundage was going, which was towards the nanite project. (And yes, the urge to turn that Inspector Gadget crack into a bottle opener joke was overwhelming. I got over it.)
Watch enough episodes, and the sudden appearance of Sarah (which happens more often than you'd think in the most seriously unlikely of places) will start to cause an almost Pavlovian scream out of you.
Doctor Diane Hughes: Jake's doctor at the NSA, who has a crush on him because she's obviously a woman of impeccable tastes. Diane is very small and hyper and brown and looks amazing when you stick her into a one-shoulder black dress.
In the wedding episode, Diane had to "kill" Jake and then cried over his body. It was very sad and very sweet all at once. Plus, there was the two of them on the same bed and there was straddling, which is the closest Jake and Diane are going to get to actual sex until the writers realize that the audience sees Sarah and immediately hears the theme to the Wicked Witch of the West in our heads.
Kyle Duarte: Jake's partner at the NSA. Kyle was stuck at a desk job until Jake turned into Nanite Boy, but now he's not, which means he gets to do cool things like make out with hot double agents at the Chinese embassy. Aw, yeeeeah.
Louise: All you need know about Louise is that she's the Big Boss Lady and she knows her shit. Oh, and that she nearly wouldn't let Jake go to a wedding because he might get mauled by bridesmaids.
You know, I was a bridesmaid once. I'm just sayin'.
Episodes:
Pilot: Jake runs into Sarah. In a bar. And all she talks about is getting drunk in college, setting a precedent for nearly every other time she ever sees him. (Or at least it feels that way.) Jake gets injured and all filled up with nanites. Aw, poor Ja-- Wait, does he have his shirt off? Good Jake! Let's make you an agent! You know, after you save Sarah from Stereotypical IRA Thug.
Training Day: Jake is being trained as an agent by Kyle. Wheeee! Diane gives Jake the Desk Lamp of True Love. Ha! Sarah never gave Jake a desk lamp. Probably because she turned it into a bong, but whatever. Ooo, somebody has an EMP bomb! And they snuck it into the NSA with a dismembered hand! Yeah, don't ask. Jake gets all sweaty and bloody and sexy, and then saves the day. Yay!
Cater Waiter: Jake goes undercover as a cater waiter. The audience is heartened to see that the writers understand our need to see Jake in anything resembling formal wear. It's all a dirty, dirty trick to get to Kyle, but Jake saves him.
Arms and the Girl: Jake ends up tailing (hey, minds out of the gutter!) an arms dealer's daughter. Except the arms dealer died two years ago and Daddy's Little Girl is now dealing. Jake should have known that a girl who once played Lance Bass's love interest can be nothing but pure evil.
The Good, The Bad, and The Geeky: Jake infiltrates a group of hackers to stop them from downing a computer company's private jet. The female hacker flings herself at him, making her yet another woman who's infinitely smarter than Sarah.
Last Man Standing: Jake goes to be best man at his friend's wedding, where a strange guy is stalking him. No, wait ... it's actually the nanites killing him. My bad. Diane reboots the nanites, which kills Jake for about a minute and results in much wailing and hand-snuggling from Diane. Jake then comes to, but the only reason they don't have enthusiastic "You're alive! I'm alive! We're all alive!" sex is because Jake has to go give his best man speech. I hope. So he does, and then he declines Sarah's dance request and goes to dance with Diane, and then he tells Diane she looks beautiful, making this the Best. Ending. EVER.
There. Now you can get by in Jake's world. :)
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no subject
Date: 2003-10-23 08:19 am (UTC)/me runs to pimp post
no subject
Date: 2003-10-23 08:51 am (UTC)no subject
Date: 2003-10-23 08:57 am (UTC)Then, the UPN station and Fox station from Nashville were dropped, in exchange for a WB station and a THIRD CBS station. (My guess is that they wanted more ratings/revenue for when "Survivor" started... or for the possibility of having all three stations run different NFL games at the same time.)
Not only has this meant missing WWE SmackDown! for the past two or three years, but it also meant missing the last seasons of Star Trek Voyager and Buffy The Vampire Slayer (although the last season of Buffy should be on FX soon).
no subject
Date: 2003-10-23 09:08 am (UTC)We became fans of Chris G's when he played one of the five main characters on Odyssey 5, a terrific Showtime SF show last year that was unfairly canceled. He's an amazing actor, I'd watch him in anything, but Jake 2.0 happens to be great, and it is being unfairly squashed by circumstance.
no subject
Date: 2003-10-23 09:34 am (UTC)no subject
Date: 2003-10-23 07:21 pm (UTC)Refer away. Whatever it takes to get that boy seen. :)
no subject
Date: 2003-10-24 11:05 am (UTC)Failing that, will you marry me?
*scurries to add this to
no subject
Date: 2003-10-24 07:28 pm (UTC)However, I can't marry you, as I am going to marry
JakeKyleDianeSarah's beer hatthe Desk Lamp of True Love, just as soon as they pass that law in Toronto. :)But I can friend you. (You'll like this better, trust me. There's more sex this way. *g*)
no subject
Date: 2004-07-31 09:40 pm (UTC)