I'm just finishing this week's Top Chef.

[apocalypsos]

Fuck Sam, fuck Ilan, and fuck Betty.

I'm talking Jonathan-and-Victoria and Weaver-family levels of hatred here. In the words of Cartman, "You get your bitch ass back in the kitchen and make me some pie." I'm boycotting any restaurant the three of them ever work at, and not just because it's safe to say I couldn't afford any of them.

They've all got a lot of fucking nerve saying Marcel's smug and condescending when WE'VE HEARD THEM SPEAK.

(And I'm not just saying this because I want to give Marcel a pity fuck.)

Comments

[laurelin-kit.livejournal.com]

OH MY GOD I KNOW. I was so pissed off watching that.

Samples from angry conversations about Top Chef!

me: HE ASKED FOR THE FRIDGE TO BE CLOSED
FUCK OFF, ILAN
Grant: God damn
Fuck off Ilan
me: Ilan may have moved up to "Most Hated."
I hope Marcel and Elia get caught making out or something so Ilan will shut the hell up.

me: Oh ho ho ho ho
I want to slap Ilan.
I really want them to call Betty and Ilan about being so nasty whenever there's any critique of Marcel.
YOU ARE THERE, TOO. YOU SUCK, TOO.
If Marcel goes home, I will be so pissed.
Grant: Everybody over here agrees that Marcel should have made sausage.
I mean, duh.
me: LOL
I think Marcel's safe.
Grant: Yeah
me: They hated Ilan a lot more.
Grant: Because his dish failed conceptually.
me: They had NOTHING good to say about his dish.
Grant: It still tasted good.
me: Yeah.
Ilan's sucked all around.
I wish someone had stood up for Marcel.
It's really sad to watch everyone just keep kicking him.
Grant: Yeah

me: Marcel offered to help Cliff.
WHAT IS WRONG WITH EVERYONE?!
Grant: SRSLY

We were just incoherent with hate. Haaate. Ilan is such a little snot. Marcel has been the most professional one there. No matter if he had done anything to annoy them, their reactions have gone waaaaaay past anything comparable. Ugh.

I'd just like to reiterate that I'm second in line for the Marcel Sexpress, traveling from White Coat to Naked in zero seconds.

Are you watching Top Design at the end of January?

[apocalypsos.livejournal.com]

You know when I almost punched my computer screen? Well, okay, not counting Betty and Ilan smiling smugly every time Marcel got reprimanded. It was, "I don't think I'll ever get over Marcel." BITCH, HE IS NOT EBOLA. HE IS A POOR SOCIALLY AWKWARD BULLIED DORK WHO NEEDS THE SEXIN' BY ME. IS THAT UNDERSTOOD?

*gives self recovery time*

And dude, seriously. I want to grab onto his gravity-defying hair and pull in a SEXX way. Gyah. C'mere, Marcel. *clutches him*

Yeah, I'm totally there for Top Design. Bravo and their reality shows have me by the short hairs.

[laurelin-kit.livejournal.com]

There's someone on a forum I go to who is firmly on the side of Sam, Ilan and Betty and thinks Marcel is an obnoxious little shit. I don't go in the thread any more because I get the same reaction to their bitching that I get to the original bitching. Well, possibly not as angry.

Mmm, Marcel sex. Can he and Elia just get caught making out or something? Please? Please? (...There's no way I can convince you to write RPF, is there?)

I've recently become disgustingly obsessed with interior design, so Top Design is like the perfect thing at the perfect time to get me totally hooked.

[apocalypsos.livejournal.com]

There's no way I can convince you to write RPF, is there?

You never know. I am drinking and thinking about porn. ;)

I don't get how anybody can be on the side of Sam, Ilan, and Betty without having been a bully or being presently a bully. Marcel's never sabotaged anybody else's dish and he's always volunteered to help people with service. Does he not know when to shut the hell up? Yeah, okay, but those are just words. The worst things that he's ever said have always been in response to being wronged by someone else, and when he hasn't been wronged first it's usually just him putting his foot in his mouth.

I continue to take it as a plus in his favor that Elia, who's known him longer and better than any of the other contestants, has said he's a good guy. A few weeks sharing living quarters on a reality show does not make for a correct assessment of someone's personality.

The worst part is listening to these people now trying to cover their ass as if they're wondering why people aren't more sympathetic to their cause. HELLO?! Bullying. Marcel is being bullied, and if I don't like to see it in children, I certainly don't like to see it in adults who should know better, no matter what bogus crimes he may have committed.

[laurelin-kit.livejournal.com]

You have mentioned pulling of the silly, silly hair! You could totally work that in! *solemnly hands you another Smirnoff*

I just can't. These people. My God. When someone laughs when you fall over, do you push them over? NO! When someone says something you don't like, do you punch them? No! When someone merely annoys you, do you start thinking of ways to ruin their life? NO.

I actually looked on the Bravo website to see if Ilan had his own blog so I could comment or something to tell him what a DOUCHE he was being.

I really wish someone would just stick up for Marcel and tell Ilan and Sam (HAHA BETTY IS GONE HA) to shove it.

The more I think about it, the more I like the idea of Marcel and Elia getting it on.

[iphignia939.livejournal.com]

I just. ILAN, THE PROPER RESPONSE WHEN CHEF TOM CALLS YOU OUT ON DISSING MARCEL IN FRONT OF PEOPLE LIKE A FOUR-YEAR-OLD IS NOT FUCKING SMIRKING. JESUS GOD.

(We will not get into the repeated slams about Marcel being a virgin, because I might have to find Ilan and rip his tiny earring OUT OF HIS EAR. AND HIS HEAD.)

I am so disappointed in Sam right now I cannot even speak. Ilan I'm not surprised by, and Betty -- dude, fucking Betty. One day she and Tiffani will be in an elevator together, and the sheer force of my hatred might cause a cable to snap.

I mean, I love Cliff and everything, but I almost want Marcel to win this now.

[laurelin-kit.livejournal.com]

One day she and Tiffani will be in an elevator together, and the sheer force of my hatred might cause a cable to snap.

Don't tease.

[apocalypsos.livejournal.com]

Betty's and Ilan's behavior at the judges's table was reprehensible. God, could the two of them act any more like juvenile delinquints dragged in front of the principal? When Marcel said he wasn't there to make friends, he was there about the food I practically cheered.

I almost want Marcel to have an amazingly well-spoken uberhot girlfriend or boyfriend who shows up at the reunion and kicks Ilan in the nuts hard enough for him to have to remove them from his ear canal with Q-Tips.

Don't even get me started on the virgin comments. I just ... I can't even. RAAAAAGE does not even begin to cover it. Yes, I'm sure Ilan is a raging Viking stud in the sack (*eye roll*), but if it were a choice between him and holding onto this pesky virginity for the rest of my life, I'd invest in the world's best vibrator, punch him in the face and die happy.

Dude, I hate these people more than Tiffani. It's unreal. At least Tiffani helped, snotty bitch though she might be.

[laurelin-kit.livejournal.com]

I almost want Marcel to have an amazingly well-spoken uberhot girlfriend or boyfriend who shows up at the reunion and kicks Ilan in the nuts hard enough for him to have to remove them from his ear canal with Q-Tips.

Did you just volunteer? Because I just heard you volunteer.

I really fucking wish I could show Ilan and Betty a tally of the negative remarks they got at the judges' table. Guess what, guys? YOU SUCKED MORE THAN MARCEL. WAY MORE. So stop smirking every single damn time the judges mentioned anything negative about him! You sucked more! You! Sucked! More!

[trishalynn.livejournal.com]

I'm not watching the show, but I did just happen to see the promos for the Thanksgiving Day dinner episode and just about had a heart attack when I saw that the guest judge was none other than ANTHONY BOURDAIN!!!! So of course I stayed to watch the whole episode.

I remember having a ludicrous pain-prompted fantasy of me and him going out on a date sometime, too. That was fabulous.

Yes, I know he's married. Shut up.

[killerweasel.livejournal.com]

It was like watching a bunch of high school students. They weren't just picking on Marcel, they were being downright nasty to him.

Sure, he's an arrogant ass, but to mock his dish in front of the people you're serving and then act like you're 15, all smirky at the judges table? Grow the hell up!

[marinwood.livejournal.com]

This season has really sucked which makes me angry since the first season ruled. Worse, I'd convinced my dad, who's not interested in TV unless there's a score or a headline crawl on the screen, to watch S2. He called me after this ep aired and asked, "Why are they acting like children? I just want to see them cook." Now I feel like some sleazy reality show pimp. Ugh.

Did you know SciFi is now showing Jake 2.0 reruns?

[laurelin-kit.livejournal.com]

MARCEL HAS A MYSPACE. Were you aware of this? Am I the last person to know?

Occupation: Culinary Artist & Molecular Gastronomist

BLESS. What an adorkable ass.

Huh?

[seferin.livejournal.com]

I don't watch the show...

Fuck Sam, fuck Ilan, and fuck Betty

So why does Ilan rate the lower case fuck?

Re: Huh?

[trcunning.livejournal.com]

No its "I" (like Ice)- LAN. (Eee-lawn)

[zephiey.livejournal.com]

I can't stand Marcel or Ilan. Both get on my nerves.

My favorite from this season other than Tom Colicchio (he is always my favorite) is Elia.

[zephiey.livejournal.com]

I also like Michael, especially after Anthony Bourdain description of him. Although Marcel is an irritating shit he does not deserve Betty, Ilan or Sam's comments.

[apocalypsos.livejournal.com]

See, my thing with Marcel is that he reminds me a lot of my first college roommate -- yeah, he's a punk, but as long as you only have to work with him (not live with him, too) he's MUCH easier to deal with. He helps out in the kitchen with service nearly all of the time when he can and most of his problem is that he can't shut up when he should, but he's pretty quiet when he's cooking. Whereas with Betty, Sam and Ilan, from what producers and Lee Anne have said in their blogs and from what's been portrayed onscreen I get the impression that if you don't work the way they want you to in the kitchen they turn venemous. And in a professional competition, behaving unprofessionally as they have been should be a mortal sin.

I think Elia is going to take it. Her leadership skills are weak, but she's kind, professional, and a talented chef. If not her, I'm guessing it'll be Cliff. Michael and Marcel don't have nearly enough talent to take the win (I love them both with all of their faults, but .... no), I wouldn't be surprised if Sam made the final three, and I'd really like to think that Ilan behaving like a twelve-year-old asshole is going to come back and bite him in the ass.