Things that are not fair and/or suck:

[apocalypsos]

1. I have insomnia.
2. I feel like crap.
3. My muses have all gone to Tahiti.
4. I want to take a layoff for my work week starting tonight, and I don't think I'll be able to afford it.
5. Everybody on Top Chef is a schmuck.
6. I cannot find a geek hottie like Henry from Ugly Betty in real life.
7. I'm hopelessly addicted to Sudoku.
8. I don't have the buttered lobster bites from Long John Silver's right now.
9. It's January 18th and we've barely gotten any snow yet.
10. There's not a radio station that just plays painfully cheesy-bad music twenty-four/seven.
11. Apparently it's legal to base-jump off the Empire State Building. The news just said so. *points*
12. Who's still a virgin? This bitch right here.
13. Nobody won the Powerball last night. Correction -- *I* didn't win the Powerball last night.
14. I want maple nut log cookies and am too lazy to make 'em.

EDIT: Something that doesn't suck? Well, David Caruso's lame-ass one-liners on CSI Miami never fail to make me die laughing. :)