Killing time ...

[apocalypsos]

Amuse me.

What's the silliest, funniest thing you've ever said in everyday conversation?

EDIT: I seriously have to start saving quotes again. I just found an old notebook I started specifically for quotes, and there's hardly anything in it.

In other news, I once told digitalodyssey, "Shut up! I can't think when you're speaking. You know, sort of like what happens to you when you're speaking." And once, when my boss told us he could totally incapacitate my co-worker without touching her, I blurted out, "With what? Your breath?"

And, erm ... *rifles through notebook* ... apparently, that's all I've ever said.

Oh, yeah. Definitely need a new quote book.

Comments

[mayatawi.livejournal.com]

You want me to choose?

[workingslacker.livejournal.com]

Pretty much every conversation I've ever had with my mother. Tonights was:

"Is this a scary movie?"
"I don't think so. It's got George Clooney in it, and the only horror movie he did was Batman & Robin."

[chorus-of-chaos.livejournal.com]

umm...the husband was ranting on in a fit of ego about how he was the smartest person in his whole office blah blah blah so I told him "dear god, if only your dick was as big as your ego!"

the silence was amazing.

[punching-isis.livejournal.com]

me and a group of my guy friends (about 6) were speaking about dating in general and the amount of clothing one wears during sex came up
to this subject i said "I would never let a guy wearing socks enter me"
they apparently thougth it was funny, but it's just a damn fact
nikkid men in sock has to be the nastiest thing ever. the naked man ain't something pretty to look at to begin with, and those aren't helping
most of anything else are inside jokes, but aren't most funny things?

[jrosestar.livejournal.com]

I swear this is true...

I was working at a hospital pharmacy one night when an older man and his wife showed up at the window. Both were apparently dressed for an evening out. He asked for a prescription pad. I asked if he was a doctor.

Dr: (spoken with authority) I am Dr. Johnson. I am down here all the time. :pulls out ID to show me:
Idiot me: I'm so sorry, I didn't recognize you with your clothes on.

What I meant was that I always saw him in hospital scrubs. Fortunately for us both, wifey saw my embarrassment when I realized what I'd said and laughed as well.

[laughingrat.livejournal.com]

Hmmm.

Scene: a dorm room, late, four girls and one gently-reared young man. I return from the restroom, where signs detailing the various methods of contraception adorned each stall in honor of "Don't get knocked up and drop out of college" month.

Me: So I saw those posters. Hell of a range of options.
Karen: Yeah, I've been studiously ignoring those.
Me: But I do have one question, you know, about the cervical caps. They sound like such a jaunty accessory, but can you get them to match your purse?
Theo: *dies of embarrassment*

Well, we thought it was funny at the time, but we were all really punchy from school.