Bwahahahaha!

[apocalypsos]

Jared Padalecki is going to play Thomas Kinkade. Yes, cheap-ass cheesy cottage paintings Thomas Kinkade.

How is it that I loathe and despise Thomas Kinkade and yet LOVE this? It's the paint-covered fingers, isn't it? I mean, that's got to be part of it, although I think it's the somebody's-got-some-serious-impeding-your-ability-to-walk-balls factor of writing a very serious movie about Thomas Kinkade in which at no point will he say, "Hey, let's mass-produce ugly pictures of candlelit cottages and drain any artistic merit right out of them!"

I think it's the Peter O'Toole thing. Because, you know, it's Peter O'Toole.

There's a part of me that thinks the only way this could amuse me more on some fundamental level is if he were playing Bob Ross and painted happy trees and wore a fake afro for two hours.

Comments

[wrenlet.livejournal.com]

... Jared in a fake afro is going to give me NIGHTMARES tonight, I can just tell. Thank you so much :D

[lasergirl.livejournal.com]

What I don't get is why it's a three-picture deal. How many movies can you make about cottage paintings? I don't even know.

[derryderrydown.livejournal.com]

PETER O'TOOLE AND PADDYWACK IN THE SAME FILM!!!!

Also, O'Toole is playing Padalecki's mentor, so there will be LOTS OF SEX!!!

[quietdiscerning.livejournal.com]

weee! i am so excited for jared. not so much the movie, but for jared, and the paint smeared hands.

if he were playing Bob Ross and painted happy trees and wore a fake afro for two hours.

...that would be the most CRACKTASTIC FIC EVER. o.O

[apocalypsos.livejournal.com]

Dude, as soon as I typed that I thought that somebody needs to write a J2 AU where Jared is a painter and Jensen is his nude model.

Except not me, because I have twenty thousand words of J2 AU to write already. :)

[sevenfists.livejournal.com]

Jayred! NOES. :( :(

[apocalypsos.livejournal.com]

I'm suddenly and seriously hoping that somebody uses this as inspiration to write an AU where Jared is a painter and Jensen is his nude model.

Come on, it's RIGHT THERE.

[janissa11.livejournal.com]

If I wrote it, it'd be all packed full of how fucking hard it is to get Jensen's lips and EYES right. ::grumble::

But also sex. Yes.

[sabra-n.livejournal.com]

Oh god. I thought of Bob Ross as soon as I read the first sentence of your entry. Why must by brain function this way?

-blue

[claudia79ad.livejournal.com]

For my reaction, I'll just point you to the comments over here: http://claudia79ad.livejournal.com/226521.html?view=768985#t768985

[bionicaknee.livejournal.com]

Oh God. Today could not be funnier if it tried.

But Peter O'Toole, what are you doing? You used to be so awesome, and now a Thomas freaking Kinkade movie. What the hell, have you finally gone senile? Doesn't mean I won't probably see it though.

Oh and anyone want to start a pool as to when the first RPS will appear of Jensen mocking him for, oh I don't know, LIFE.

[inmyriadbits.livejournal.com]

I'm sorry, my brain is still shorted out at the image of Jared with his GIANT PAWS covered in paint. I have a serious Thing for that. Seriously. Wrote a short story and everything. *fans self* Painting class is going to be so much more fun this week...

[samirant.livejournal.com]

So... it's a comedy? :/

(Simply a thought on how preposterous the plot sounds. And its 'sequels'.)

[aerwynblue.livejournal.com]

HEY!!!
Don't knock the Rosster!!!!
I actually find him very soothing after a stressful day of people yelling & screaming at me over the phone.
And there's nothing wrong with happy trees.

BTW, what does Thomas Kinkade look like? Is he a real person? Or is he just a creation of the Man, designed to spread mediocre stuff that passes itself off as Art & keep the masses happy, like the ancient Roman bread & circus?

There. I've finally put some of that there college-type learning to use. Or not.

[apocalypsos.livejournal.com]

Oh, I'm knocking Bob Ross at ALL. I love that man. There's Joy of Painting episodes on Youtube and it warms my happy-little-tree-painting heart. Now there's a guy who actually looks like he's having fun painting. :)

And yeah, Thomas Kinkade is real. And annoying. I remember reading an article on him in People years ago that made me want to gag at how it came off that it's okay to be artistically bankrupt for commercial gain if you do it with Jesus on the brain. *eye roll*

[aerwynblue.livejournal.com]

My apologies for my previous outburst. It's been a looooong, helacious week-the screaming customers, the reversal of seasons (it's frickin' April, awright! Enough with the 1+feet of wet heavy snow!!!), being without power for over a day. I'm good now-ham, roasted new potatoes, veggies, chocolate bunnies missing their ears, courtesy of my parents. And I'm officially on vacation for the next 6 days :)

I just remembered: there was a Kinkade gallery at my local mall. It was all dark, underlit, except for the works hanging on the walls. I think the intent was to make the place seem almost like an art gallery. Or maybe a church. To me it always seemed kind of creepy, with the sales reps smiling those blank "one of us, be one of us," smiles. Like a fun house.

OMG!! Idea for bad RPS type fic: Jared, unable to break free of his role as Thomas Kinkade, finds himself trapped in a fun house of bad art (the whole big-eyed, sad clowns & puppies bit.) It's up to Jensen to rescue him and bring him back.

Sorry, I'll be quiet now. I should know better than to listen to surf rock while I'm LJing. Better switch to the 80's alt station for a while.

[photo-confused.livejournal.com]

i seriously think my head just spun off my shoulders..jared's gonna be thomas kinkade?
holy motherfucking hell...i need a drink.

[janissa11.livejournal.com]

I think you just described the reaction of most of us, down to a tee. Share the bottle?

[apocalypsos.livejournal.com]

See, this is what gets me.

Van Gogh, Frieda Kahlo, Michelangelo, Picasso, Jackson Pollack ... all of them needed two to two-and-a-half hours to tell their life stories on film.

But Thomas Kinkade needs THREE MOVIES IN A ROW.

I have three six-packs of Smirnoff left and I'm still not sure it's enough.

[janissa11.livejournal.com]

And even with three times as much time as any normal film, there will STILL not be enough time to tell the peeing-on-Mickey story, I'll bet.

OR the codpiece story.

Man, I think a TRUCKLOAD of Smirnoff ain't enough to make THIS palatable.

[photo-confused.livejournal.com]

so smirnoffs no good...I'LL GRAB THE JACK DANIELS!! :)

[squee1123.livejournal.com]

three picture deal? i can dig it.

[apocalypsos.livejournal.com]

Yeah, I mean, all joking aside, I can see why he did it. Even if they're all about Thomas Kinkade, it's still the lead in three films, at least one of which will mean working with Peter fucking O'Toole. Hell, I'd play Kinkade for that sort of opportunity.

[squee1123.livejournal.com]

im pretty excited for him (also, i like the new layout colors youve got going. i usually just see MY layout) and excited for Jensen too because it means theyre getting noticed.

[crediniaeth.livejournal.com]

I'm so glad I wasn't drinking anything when I read that.

Jared? As Thomas Kincade? Boy looks nothing like him!

I'll agree though... I would sell my soul to star in a movie with Peter Fracking O'Toole.

Damn... good job, boy.

[modillian.livejournal.com]

Hmmm. Well, there's always the chance that it'll be some kind of "autobiography with liberties taken" and Jayred will become THOMAS KINKADE, RAMBO OF THE NILE and there will be explosions and saving of a girl and three movies of shirt-ripping and action-packed pyramid-jumping like The Mummy Returns? Maybe? I'm hoping for the equivalent of an AU of Thomas Kinkade's life story. Because that'd be a much better prospect than THREE MOVIES ABOUT THOMAS KINKADE AUUUUGHH! Which, of course, I will be required to see as a Jayred fangirl. A girl can hope, eh?

[anashi.livejournal.com]

And there were no other more worthy painters to film a movie about...you always see his crappy paintings in home and garden books along with those creepy ass dolls...Why Jared? :( Jackson Pollack...now that would be worth seeing.

[girlwiththebook.livejournal.com]

i'm still on the thought process of "why would he WANT to play kinkade?"

WTF.

[apocalypsos.livejournal.com]

For the lead in a three-picture movie deal, I imagine he'd play anybody. Although I still can't see where the story is, and the smug self-righteous way Kinkade talks about his art doesn't exactly make me want to see it if he's involved, even for Jared.

[vass]

Thomas Kinkade? The guy who 'marks his territory' (his justification for it) in public? Who peed on Winnie the Pooh?

Oh yeah, and he's a painter.

[apocalypsos.livejournal.com]

Well, since he's involved with the making of it I highly doubt those two anecdotes are going to make the movies. It'll be a Hallmark Channel movie-of-the-week on the big screen times three.

Not that I don't love a cheesy Hallmark Channel movie-of-the-week every once in a while, but ... yeah.