You know what's advantageous?

[apocalypsos]

Having parents with a big back porch open to the sun and wireless access. *grins wickedly from my warm comfy lawn chair*

I really should have brought drinks with me, though. Last time I was here and raided the fridge my mom had a fit. Okay, yeah, it's my own damn responsibility to feed myself, but come ON. (Perhaps if I hadn't tried to boost one of her last bottles of Smirnoff. Hmm.)

So last night I tried to watch the premiere of this season of Celebrity Fit Club. Don't even ask me why, because I don't even know. I've watched previous seasons, too -- I mean, I'm a sucker for C-list celebrity reality shows, so this is always like candy to me. And sometimes I even find out I like someone more than I did before. It only took a few minutes of watching Cletus T. Judd for me to decide that he's not half the moron I thought he was going to be. He actually seems really sweet and I kinda want to feed him cookies, although he's got an eating disorder now because he starved himself to lose seventy pounds for his kid and I ... I just really got invested in him because he's cool, I guess. :)

And then there's Dustin Diamond. (I feel my migraine coming back. *wince*) Apparently halfway through the season he gets into this fight with Kimberley Locke and calls her a cunt and says stuff about fucking her with his cock and showing her what a real man is or some shit, and I just ... I mean, I heard the fight was bad enough, but from watching the "this season on Celebrity Fit Club ..." footage last night I just can't wrap my brain around the ego on this idiot. It's pretty blatantly obvious that he's trying to make up for the fact that everybody looks at him and thinks of a ginormous dork so he's decided to act like a raging dickweed. It's a brilliant strategy, really. I mean, if I had a dead career and was living off residuals (granted, Saved by the Bell reruns about as much as Full House, so I imagine he's got something resembling a steady income for life) I think what I would do is go on national television and prove I'm a gigantic jackass everybody's so disgusted with dealing with on a regular basis that they all walk off the set.

So, yeah. Good job, then. *thumbs up*

Now if you'll excuse me, I have to go write porn. At least ten thousand words of it by tomorrow night. ARGH.

Comments

[wtfbrain.livejournal.com]

Heh. I read that as "Celebrity Fight Club" at first, which, admittedly, would be a way cooler show.

[random-serious.livejournal.com]

Hmmm, I've been thinking about residuals... say, Save by the Bell or Beverly Hills 90210 or X-Files or BtVS or, what do you think the actors make off of them?

Good luck with the writing, btw.

[paranoidgrl.livejournal.com]

I really dislike Dustin Diamond after watching last night. Everybody else on the show seems pretty decent and wanting to deal with their issues (even Brat, who I think is all talk), and then there's Dustin, who is clearly only doing this for the tv time. If don't want to be known as Screech, maybe you shouldn't have stayed on the show after graduation.

[wal-lace.livejournal.com]

Wait, the American version gets C-listers? Over Here we would kill for someone with the profile of Dustin Diamond to appear on our crappy reality TV. We're down to that pudgy ex-footballer's daughter and that guy who sang that song which was popular for two minutes back in the '90s.

[apocalypsos.livejournal.com]

Brat was on Surreal Life one season and I remember liking her a lot that season for having the balls to speak up to Chyna's annoying boyfriend who showed up one night acting like a dillhole and getting him to leave. I'm so used to her being all talk that I'm just waiting for the moment where she and what's-his-face finally realize they have a LOT in common. (I like the drill sergeant guy a lot. The doctor guy's touch-and-go and I'm THRILLED the psychiatrist or whatever that they usually have is gone.)

I think that was the season of Chris and Adrienne, if I'm remembering correctly, who for some strange reason I continue to love like burning.

I missed a lot of the episode because I was on the phone with a guy from work but I do recall my ire rising when Cletus was upset and called him Screech and he said, "You forgot my name there, Cletus." Shut it, idiot, the man's upset here, as well he should be.

[apocalypsos.livejournal.com]

Well, let's see ... this season the biggest star we've probably got is Kimberley Locke, who was a runner-up on American Idol. She's a pretty big coup for them, though -- we've been making huge orders of her new CD at work, which says a lot.

Everybody else is pretty low on the totem pole -- Da Brat (she'll sign up for anything VH-1 throws her way, but she's entertaining enough to be worth it), Tiffany, the chick who played Marcia Brady on The Brady Bunch (who seems WAY less punchy about being called by her character's name than Dustin Diamond does), Warren G, Ross the Intern from the Tonight Show (which I'd complain about but he made me laugh every time he was onscreen so yay!), and Cletus T. Judd (country music parody artist, and I don't find him funny at ALL but he seems like a real sweetheart).

And Dustin Diamond, who's an asshat.

[weetzie21.livejournal.com]

Do you think Dustin gained weight on purpose, just so he could get his face on TV again? He seems desperate enough for attention to do something like that. What an idiot. I wanted to punch him when he was making fun of Cledus's grocery store phobia. I'd never heard of Cledus before, but he seems like he genuinely wants to get better for his daughter, and I think that's sweet.

[eleniangel.livejournal.com]

Personally, I think Dustin Diamond is pathetic. I cannot feel one ounce of sympathy for him, and his behavior isn't making it easier.