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apocalypsos1. Those feelings that you're not ready for college? You're right about those. You're not. Talk to somebody, anybody -- Mom, Dad, aunts, uncles, whoever. SOMEBODY. Not that you won't ever be ready ... you're just way too sheltered and inexperienced.
2. You know that weekend job your best friend got as a female impersonator? And how he said he wasn't gay and you believed him because he was your best friend and ... well, why would he lie to you? Because he wasn't comfortable with coming out just yet, sweetie. Stop wishing he'd stop picking up skanks and notice you. He won't.
2a. Also, Kyle's gay, too. I KNOW. How unfair is that?!
3. Oh, and before I forget about college, don't go to IUP. You won't like it there, you'll be bored out of your mind, you won't make friends, you'll hate the classes, and you won't develop any sort of independence with your grandparents in the next town over.
4. Also, don't major in journalism. Criminology, fashion design, creative writing, or German -- those are the four things that you'll turn out to love best, even at their most boring and mind-numbing moments. Pick one and major in it.
5. Stay away from credit cards. You have absolutely no ability to manage money. At all.
6. Don't feel so guilty about giving up Christianity. It wasn't for you. Okay, well, at its most basic form it might have been for you, but you don't like the places of worship, the content, the literature, the music, or almost anything else associated with it. And you don't have to go to church on Easter and Christmas for your family's sake. Really.
7. Be a little more grateful for that damn car. It may be a POS, but you DO realize you're the only one of your friends who has her very own car, yes?
8. You're probably not going to want to hear this, but you CAN drink. Go ahead, it's okay. You don't like beer, wine, or champagne, and there's only so much you can drink before you get queasy and want soda anyway. Besides, Mom and Dad don't care just as long as you don't make yourself sick and you don't drive. They're cooler than you think. One or two wine coolers at a party is not going to kill you. Hell, GOING to a party is not going to kill you.
9. For God's sake, get rid of those damn bangs. And grow your hair out. And stick with the dark red hair dye. A cute little shoulder-length bob looks really hot on you, seriously.
10. Write. Write all the damn time. Write anything that comes to mind. Write until your fingers fall off. Let yourself write whatever silly, goofy thing comes to mind. Write whatever terrible, awful thing comes to mind. Write down story ideas like crazy. Anything, everything, all of it. You need the practice. And while you're at it, learn whatever you can about the publishing industry, 'cause honestly, m'darlin'? You don't know a DAMN thing.
11. Stop being so damn afraid of sex. Or embarrassed of it. Or embarrassed because you haven't had any of it. Hell, I don't know. Watch some porn. Hang around with your pervy cousin more often. I mean, really, if you want to get more comfortable about sex or porn or masturbation or whatever having her haul you to the Playtime Boutique to shop for vibrators or whatever she wants to do to publicly humiliate you is bound to loosen you up at least a little.
12. Don't let Mom pick out clothes for you. Not that she has awful taste, per se, she just has tastes that in no way jive with what your brain wants you to wear. You have better fashion sense than you think you do when you're not dressing in flannel and combat boots, you just have to pay more attention to what other people are wearing and what works and what doesn't. I mean, you WERE the one who found all those great shirts and sweaters and things that Mom tossed up into the attic because she didn't wear them anymore, and they were all pretty great vintage stuff. All they needed was a little work.
2. You know that weekend job your best friend got as a female impersonator? And how he said he wasn't gay and you believed him because he was your best friend and ... well, why would he lie to you? Because he wasn't comfortable with coming out just yet, sweetie. Stop wishing he'd stop picking up skanks and notice you. He won't.
2a. Also, Kyle's gay, too. I KNOW. How unfair is that?!
3. Oh, and before I forget about college, don't go to IUP. You won't like it there, you'll be bored out of your mind, you won't make friends, you'll hate the classes, and you won't develop any sort of independence with your grandparents in the next town over.
4. Also, don't major in journalism. Criminology, fashion design, creative writing, or German -- those are the four things that you'll turn out to love best, even at their most boring and mind-numbing moments. Pick one and major in it.
5. Stay away from credit cards. You have absolutely no ability to manage money. At all.
6. Don't feel so guilty about giving up Christianity. It wasn't for you. Okay, well, at its most basic form it might have been for you, but you don't like the places of worship, the content, the literature, the music, or almost anything else associated with it. And you don't have to go to church on Easter and Christmas for your family's sake. Really.
7. Be a little more grateful for that damn car. It may be a POS, but you DO realize you're the only one of your friends who has her very own car, yes?
8. You're probably not going to want to hear this, but you CAN drink. Go ahead, it's okay. You don't like beer, wine, or champagne, and there's only so much you can drink before you get queasy and want soda anyway. Besides, Mom and Dad don't care just as long as you don't make yourself sick and you don't drive. They're cooler than you think. One or two wine coolers at a party is not going to kill you. Hell, GOING to a party is not going to kill you.
9. For God's sake, get rid of those damn bangs. And grow your hair out. And stick with the dark red hair dye. A cute little shoulder-length bob looks really hot on you, seriously.
10. Write. Write all the damn time. Write anything that comes to mind. Write until your fingers fall off. Let yourself write whatever silly, goofy thing comes to mind. Write whatever terrible, awful thing comes to mind. Write down story ideas like crazy. Anything, everything, all of it. You need the practice. And while you're at it, learn whatever you can about the publishing industry, 'cause honestly, m'darlin'? You don't know a DAMN thing.
11. Stop being so damn afraid of sex. Or embarrassed of it. Or embarrassed because you haven't had any of it. Hell, I don't know. Watch some porn. Hang around with your pervy cousin more often. I mean, really, if you want to get more comfortable about sex or porn or masturbation or whatever having her haul you to the Playtime Boutique to shop for vibrators or whatever she wants to do to publicly humiliate you is bound to loosen you up at least a little.
12. Don't let Mom pick out clothes for you. Not that she has awful taste, per se, she just has tastes that in no way jive with what your brain wants you to wear. You have better fashion sense than you think you do when you're not dressing in flannel and combat boots, you just have to pay more attention to what other people are wearing and what works and what doesn't. I mean, you WERE the one who found all those great shirts and sweaters and things that Mom tossed up into the attic because she didn't wear them anymore, and they were all pretty great vintage stuff. All they needed was a little work.
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no subject
Date: 2007-06-26 04:05 am (UTC)This was really nice. 5, 7, 8, 9, 10, and 12 really apply to me.
Maybe 11 - because I'm shy about my body, not because I don't want to have sex. :P
... TMI?
no subject
Date: 2007-06-26 04:29 am (UTC)I wish I could tell my sixteen-year-old self to relax. I was uptight, and it made high school a lot more painful than it needed to be.
Oh, hindsight.
no subject
Date: 2007-06-26 05:44 am (UTC)no subject
Date: 2007-06-26 10:21 am (UTC)no subject
Date: 2007-06-26 11:18 am (UTC)no subject
Date: 2007-06-26 02:29 pm (UTC)'cause seriously, i've been trying to think of a way to e-mail my 16 year old ass and deliver a good monolouge about bad descisions, priorities and common sense.
5 7 and 8 seem to be pretty much on the button.
but honestly, you're not doing that um. well you have your own place.
no subject
Date: 2007-06-26 02:41 pm (UTC)