GRRRR.

[apocalypsos]

-- I got to bed at seven this morning and woke up at three. Which, YAY, because I wanted to sleep as much as I wanted today rather than getting up early to do anything, but on the same token I kind of want to point to today when my mom asks me why I don't go to family events or parties or whatever during my shift and say, "Yeah, this would be why."

-- So I've seen the spoilers for the DH epilogue. Or what's supposed to the spoilers for the epilogue, since I've now seen two entirely different spoilers. Then again, these were the actual photos, so ... yeah. (Not that I would be the least bit surprised if someone in HP fandom faked up a soppy, dull, cheesy epilogue just to piss off the rest of fandom a little early, but still.)

Also, HA! Somebody totally just got fired from Borders. :)

Anyway, like I said. Soppy, dull, cheesy, and bound to inspire terrifying amounts of "The Potter and Weasley kids at Hogwarts, YAY!" fic, which ... oh, joy. Also, I'd say it was a ridiculously happy ending but if Harry and Ginny have been cruel enough to saddle one of their children with the name Albus Severus -- regardless of how heroic either character was to Harry -- they've obviously both gone insane or evil or both and are taking some innocent impressionable child with them.

And then there is Draco, who named his kid Scorpius. And my first thought was, "Draco was terribly depressed following the defeat of Voldemort and fell into the vile habit of watching Muggle television, which culminated in being hopelessly addicted to reruns of Farscape when his son was born ..." *snickers*

Okay, on a more serious note, I kind of love the fact that fandom's already got its panties in a twist because it's such a happy ending. Seriously, what does everybody expect? First and foremost, it's a children's book. Jo's not going to end it with Harry's dead body lying in the ruins of Hogwarts while Ron and Hermione break down and have hot steamy sex nearby. That's what apocalyptothon is for. *beams* But personally I'm not the least bit surprised. The first spoilers I saw for the epilogue were the gang having dinner sometime in the future and Harry's powers appearing to reemerge after disappearing after defeating Voldemort. (As is, he has to give them in trade or overloads them or something.) And considering it's an epilogue ... well, really, how many epilogues do we ever see that AREN'T a glimpse to the happy ending we've already been promised, particularly in a story in which good defeats evil?

I don't know. I'm the bitter bastard who had enough as of OotP, so maybe I'm more morbidly amused than I should be. :)

Comments

[wal-lace.livejournal.com]

Well, I can't speak for the rest of fandom, but I was hoping Voldemort would turn out to be Hagrid's brother, Ron would time-travel to become Dumbledore, Ginny would become a lesbian and Neville Longbottom would save the day.

... I'm serious about the Neville, incidentally.

[dorei.livejournal.com]

I figure there HAS to be a happy ending because, as you say, in the end it IS a children's book. You don't want your children in years of therapy because "rocks fall and everybody dies."

[12-12-12.livejournal.com]

The thing about all these HP spoilers is that I *still* have no idea whether or not they are real, even after seeing the photographs posted online. Given the nature of this fandom I really don't put it past people to actually mock up a fake book in order to make it look authentic. So I guess I'll be going into it (sort of) unspoiled, either way.

[ficangel.livejournal.com]

Draco doesn't die. He apparently takes a blow to the head that he never recovers from, but he doesn't die. I'll take what I can get.

[lovedbythesun.livejournal.com]

Whaaa? Wherefore art these spoilers?

[regala-electra.livejournal.com]

Scorpius.

I'm not going to stop cackling about that. The Scarrans lied about Scorpy's origins! He's really a pureblood wizard from Earth, cast across the galaxy and horribly deformed to some horrible hex during his first year at wizarding school!

Seriously, I'm just picturing Draco showing up with a mini-Scorpius, to see him off the train and I...can't be held accountable for my reaction.

[umetnica.livejournal.com]

There's happy spoilers now? I'm so out of the loop!

[mercymydarling.livejournal.com]

I... sincerely hope that that is not the actual epilogue, not because I don't want a happy ending (not that I do, either, whatever), but... the names. That would seriously make me cry. THE NAMES OW.

[jamesinboots.livejournal.com]

So I've seen the spoilers for the DH epilogue. Or what's supposed to the spoilers for the epilogue, since I've now seen two entirely different spoilers. Then again, these were the actual photos, so ... yeah. (Not that I would be the least bit surprised if someone in HP fandom faked up a soppy, dull, cheesy epilogue just to piss off the rest of fandom a little early, but still.)

I haven't actually read the material on the photos of the pages, but I planned on playing in Photoshop to see if it looked doctored, then I saw that the last page of the book was 739 (almost looked like 239, it's so blurred). The two confirmed page counts for the DH are 784 pages (U.S.) and 608 pages (U.K.). It's clearly supposed to be a U.S. version, though.

One other weird thing I noticed at first glance was how the chapter titles at the top of the page appear arched/really curved on some places. It seems more doctored than something that actually occurs when the page isn't exactly flat.

Just my 0.02.

[dorei.livejournal.com]

Because Draco is obviously so much better than Scorpius?

C'mon. Her names have ALWAYS been a little on the odd side. Why change now?

[mercymydarling.livejournal.com]

Actually, Scorpius doesn't really bother me. It's the Albus Severus that does that... I cannot fathom Snape doing anything good enough to redeem himself enough in Harry's eyes that Harry would want to name his spawn after him.

[dorei.livejournal.com]

I figure it's him discovering that Severus was following Albus Dumbledore's orders, that he had sworn an unbreakable vow to Dumbledore, etc., would be enough, but hey.

[coyotegoth.livejournal.com]

Personally, I was hoping that there would be ten blank, black pages- then Harry would wake up and discover that he's married to Suzanne Pleshette; the two of them fly away on his broom as Hagrid spells out "GOODBYE" with rocks.

Or something.

[notrafficlights.livejournal.com]

*cough cough (http://adora-spintriae.livejournal.com/392822.html#cutid1)*