Wow, that was almost physically painful.

[apocalypsos]

Verdict: Not enough NO in the world. Which is a lot coming from somebody who'll watch anything with vampires or superheroes in it.

It takes real talent to make everybody involved look like a really bad actor, particularly when you've got Sophia Myles and Jason Dohring in your cast, but ... oh, yeah, they managed it. In forty-four minutes of screentime I managed to like two things -- Jason Dohring, and Mick St. John's diagonal bookcases. I'm totally going to do that in my house when I actually get one. I mean, I didn't even like Sophia Myles and I ADORE her in everything. Also her accent slipped when she asked the killer guy for a cell phone, which made me laugh.

And oh, the lead guy. He's just wretchedly painfully bad, isn't he? He can't act, and unlike Jason Dohring he can't even manage to give his character an interesting personality, any redeemable sense of humor or creativity (that interview in his head, oh God, it was like listening to every bad line about vampirism ever crammed into a two-minute bit), or anything remotely resembling an edge. Oh, no, I drink blood and live forever and WOE, for I am a horrible evil creature and I can't get laid because the woman might hate me for being a monster! *eyeroll* Okay, first off, that's not giving any woman you've ever been interested in much fucking credit, and secondly, who do I have to kill and drain of blood to get a main vampire character who likes being a vampire? Who isn't smacking himself upside the head with the guilt of what he's done? You need to eat, stupid. The blood is in that guy. For Pete's sake, can I get a vampire who cracks jokes with the people he or she has to get blood from and puts little paper umbrellas in their blood and is smiling and happy and NOT carrying around enough personal baggage to start their own Louis Vuitton outlet? What do you think, too much to ask?

It's just so bad. And the sad thing is that there are two options here:

A.) They knew damn well about Angel and Forever Knight and kept going with the attitude that they were so fucking clever it didn't matter what they did with the mythology.

B.) No one involved in the production had ever heard of Angel or Forever Knight and really thinks they are that fucking clever. A guilt-ridden vampire detective! No one's ever done THAT before! And they certainly haven't done it well! Or on CBS!

I mean, they closed with an Evanescence song, for Christ's sake. Did somebody give them the Vampire/Goth Cliches in Entertainment Checklist? Seriously, people, you're not supposed to be encouraging them.

Comments

[apocalypsos.livejournal.com]

Oh, I purposely avoided Big Shots and yet still managed to catch a minute or two of it. Man, if I wanted to watch a show about jerks in financial or business careers I'd watch Mad Men -- at least I know that one is both good and deep.