Oh, I wouldn't throw him out of bed for eating the female reproductive system.

[apocalypsos]

So Jess went out the other day bright and ridiculously early to get the Twilight DVD.

I dug myself my own grave, is what I did. I read the books because damn it, if I'm going to make fun, I'm going into the battle of wits well-armed. And then I passed the books on to Jess, who passed them on to everybody we know, and I am currently the only one who doesn't develop a serious case of flappyhands over them. I have unintentionally made a small crowd of Twilight fans.

I've got Jess swooning over Edward and our friend Amy telling me she wants to be a Cullen more than anything else in the world. I NEED HELP.

I think my favorite part of the whole thing is that after Jess got the DVD, brought it home, and proceeded to watch it over and over again like a monkey with a pleasure button in a science experiment, her mom -- to her never-ending horror -- found Jacob hot. Is it bad that I'm waiting for real-life wank?