You want to know how bored I was at work today? I read a dictionary. Seriously. Just flipped it open and started reading. And I know I didn't get to finish it, but just so you know, the butler couldn't possibly have done it, because he's only in that second chapter and then he's just gone.
One cool thing I noticed ('cause that's just the way I am) is that the dictionary starts with "aardvark" and ends with "zymurgy," which is the science and study of fermentation, as in brewing. Starts with weird animals, ends with beer. So what I learned today was that the dictionary is really like pledge week at a fraternity. :)
*sigh* You realize, of course, that during all of this, I could have been writing. Sheesh. Maybe I should get "Slacker" tattooed on me instead.
Oh, and as I was leaving work, I saw a bumper sticker that said, "Maine -- The Way Life Should Be". It goes to show how much Stephen King I've read when my first thought was, "What, life should involve being menaced by rabid St. Bernards, haunted by clowns in the sewers, and killed off by a government-issue plague?" They probably meant that everybody should eat lots of lobster and talk in that annoying accent, but my version sounds so much cooler, don't you think?
In other news, I may be shagging my friends list later on (to those of you who just friended me, I promise to get you very drunk and tell you how pretty you look in that dress/handsome you look in that suit/fuckable you look in that nudity before I pounce), so, you know, don't wear anything you don't want the buttons ripped off of, make sure you shave, and for God's sake, would it be too much to ask for you to buy me dinner first? Or a car? Hell, I'd take a Milky Way bar. I'm not picky when it comes to payment for group shags, all right? ;)
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