(no subject)

Yay! I have now officially voted. (Which is good, because when I left, the line reached approximately to Guam.)

So, my morning so far has looked like this:

5:00 - Roll out of bed.
5:01 - Get up off the floor where I landed and throw on some clothes.
5:10 - After smacking myself to wake myself up, head out to the voting place.
5:12 - Walk towards the voting place wearing a black hoodie and listening to "Mosh."
5:13 - Pause the first time I look around for other people in black hoodies to officially accept the "World's Biggest Idiot" award.
5:30 - Arrive at elementary school voting place. Wonder where all the other black hoodies are.
5:31 - Realize that it's entirely possible the other black hoodies don't even know that 5:30 is a real time and think it was just made up to scare slackers.
5:33 - Am bored. Get thoroughly tempted to call my dad in PA and ask him whom he's voting for. Figure out my father, the world's only terminal night owl, probably got up early enough for his vote to count as being submitted last Tuesday, if he even voted at all.
5:40 - Take out my AlphaSmart fully intended to write. Spend the next ten minutes staring at it trying to remember what it is. Swear off attempting to even think before six in the morning.
5:55 - Watch as pollsters promptly piss off half the line by announcing they're sorting voters in alphabetical order rather than first come, first serve. Become amused when poor, stupid pollster gets yelled at by members of the line for being too doofy to add that he's only doing it with the first ten people or so.
6:00 - Voting begins.
6:02 - As I'm only twelfth or thirteenth in line, yes, that's exactly when I got in there.
6:05 - Leave voting booth. Gaze longingly at the e-voting machine like the technojoy nerd I am.
6:07 - Exit the building. Am promptly confronted by the sight of a line so long it's probably extended itself to New Zealand since I started this post.

So, yay. Now I need to write. And later, to buy booze, because the 7-11 only has crappy alcohol.

Fiction for the Electoral Process

I had an idea. And stop me if this sounds stupid.

( Everybody deserves a 'Yay! You voted!' present. EVERYBODY. )

(no subject)

So, just called Mom. She's not sure whether she wants to vote, but she said there was no way in Hell either she or Dad would vote for Bush. Yay! I come from a good gene pool! (We had a mutual bitchfest about the war, and she told me a kid who was in seventh grade at my school when I graduated died over in Iraq. *growls in general direction of the White House*)

She also said my brother's going to vote later. Yay! Bryan's voting! He's actually leaving his chair in front of the Playstation and going to vote! *happy dance*

Sometimes, my family is very, very cool. :)

Yay for free advertising!

In totally non-voting news, let's talk NaNoWriMo and free advertisement.

If you don't have an Alpha Smart, you should get one, especially if you want a laptop for writing but can't afford it.

It's got a four-line screen and it needs good lighting to type on it, but really, those are the only two disadvantages to it. And quite frankly, if that's enough to stop you from getting one, I worry.

The advantages? It's a $200 lightweight word processor that can hold 100 single-spaced pages and is so durable it's still worked even after people ran theirs over with cars. See, you think I'm joking about that durability thing, but these suckers practically bounce. It's got a full keyboard. You don't have to save ... all you have to do is type. It runs for over 700 hours on three AA batteries. I got mine nearly a year ago and haven't changed the batteries yet. All you have to do to download it is hook it up to the printer with a USB cable and hit "send", or you can print directly from the AlphaSmart.

I cannot describe my infatuation with this thing. *clutches AlphaSmart protectively to chest* I take it to Borders to work on stories. I take it with me to the movies to write beforehand. And it fits into nearly all of my larger purse with tons of room (and weight) to spare.

I swear, if I ever crashed on a desert island like in Lost and couldn't find my AlphaSmart, and then I did find it, I'd have that same sappy, happy look on my face that Charlie had when he found his guitar.

Dude, much love.

*waves AlphaSmart at NaNoWriMo writers, reminds you all that Christmas is only two months away*

(no subject)

( NaNoWriMo word count stuff )

(no subject)

Dear Bill O'Reilly,

I will give you that you are one of the most important news shows out there. I might not agree with you and think half of what you say is bullshit, but I still know lots of people listen to you, so I'll give you that much credit.

However, you are not THE most important talk show host out there. Sorry, but you're not.

Here is a rocket. Please climb in, strap yourself to a seat, set it off at a forty-five degree angle, and get the fuck over yourself.

Sincerely,

Me

P.S. Please take all of the self-produced schlock you fling at people in an attempt to enslave followers and stuff them in an uncomfortable place like the back seat of a Volkswagen.

******

In other news, Oh-Woe-Is-Me-Ooooo is a Bush supporter. However, she's not bothering to vote. Darn! *fake disappointed finger snap*

(no subject)

So before I go home, I'm going to stop at CVS, pick up some Smirnoff, and go the hell home. I was going to watch the results as they come in, but then I remembered I'm going to drink whatever they are and I'm going to get pissed every time I hear Bush won a state, so I might as well just write and nurse a bottle of Smirnoff while watching my "Yay! I voted!" present, the Dawn of the Dead remake on DVD.

Called my brother to see if my parents had voted ... apparently not. *whacks parents upside their heads*

EDIT: There are people on the radio right now lamenting the fact that polling places are running out of "I Voted!" stickers. Speaking as someone who got up at 5 a.m., walked over to my neighborhood polling place, proudly voted, received my lovely "I Voted!" sticker, and now needs only to get smashed while the results are bickered back and forth, I'd just like to channel a great philosopher and say, "HA, HA." [/end Nelson Muntz.]

(no subject)

If you haven't gotten a chance to join in and you got to vote today, the 'Yay! I Voted' Drabble Challenge is still going strong.

C'mon, gang. We voted. We deserve smutty fic. :)

EDIT: Just out of curiosity, am I the only one who wants to go to the White House with a boom box if Bush loses and play "Na Na Na Na (Hey Hey Hey Hey) Goodbye" as loud as possible? Yeah, didn't think so.

(no subject)

Oh, I so can't do this anymore. Poll results blackout for me from now until booze.

*turns off radio, vows to ignore LJ for a while to keep head from exploding*

EDIT: I just came up with one good thing that would come out of Bush winning -- I wouldn't have to get rid of my "Terrorists kill a kitten" icon. I love that one.

Okay, back to nerve-wracking blissful oblivion.

(no subject)

Dear God,

I never ask for much, but even when I do, you kind of tend to laugh at me and throw things at my head. So, rather than a prayer or a begging, pleading request, I'm going to offer you something you seem to enjoy -- my public humiliation.

You know that post I made before about wanting to bring a boom box to the White House? Well, if you let Kerry win, I'll go to the White House this weekend, stand outside the gate, and make a phone post to LJ singing that song.

Knowing how much humor you gain at my expense during times of embarrassment, I'm sure that'll work. :)

Sincerely,

Me

EDIT: I'm going to bed. I can't watch this.

Remember when I mentioned the "my mother" disappointed? Yeah, seriously.