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Spotted on IMDB ...

Actress Christina Applegate still can't believe Ben Affleck deliberately displayed his genitals to her while shooting a movie scene. The 33-year-old was working with the eccentric heart-throb on Surviving Christmas last year, when she saw more of him than she expected. She says, "They were doing a shot of a briefcase and Ben put his stuff on the case. It was gross." And Applegate is not the first Hollywood star to witness his racy humor, director Kevin Smith had to endure Affleck's favorite prank - resting his scrotum on the back of the movie maker's neck during breaks on the set of movie flop Jersey Girl.

Okay, you know, holding aside the whole "Ewwww" reaction that comes with a story like that, my immediate thought was, "Well, considering he pulled this stunt on his two biggest flops --" and that was as far as I got before I started to drown in the Sea of Euphemisms.

EDIT: I'm now at 22k in the monster ficathon entry of dooooooooooooooom. Hmm. Only *grumblegrumble* more words to go.

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theohara's got Episode 8 up! *flails* I swear, I can't pimp that series enough. I'm not having summer withdrawal because I feel like I'm getting brand new episodes all the time. It's awesome.

In any event, my parents are now, I'd guess, on their way to Baltimore for the day before they drive down to Alexandria, check into the hotel, and walk over to the movie theater to go see what I can only guess will be Batman Begins. I want their Friday, damn it. *grumblegumble* But instead, I have to leave early to go to the mall and pick up Father's and Mother's Day stuff (because I was broke and didn't get to send my mom stuff for Mother's Day ... also, I procrastinated until it was waaaaay too late) instead of staying home and working on the monster ficathon entry of dooooooooom. ladybug218, I will definitely have part two done by Sunday, and maybe by Saturday night, if I get to ditch my parents early enough. And I will pound out that fourth part on Sunday if it kills me, which will give me the next week and a half to get part three done, which is good because that the part that's giving me trouble. And then I'll be done. DONE, DONE, DONE. *reserved happy dance*

EDIT: Oh, for crying out loud.

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Oh, for crying out loud, Jeb, LET IT GO. *headdesk*

In other news, have achieved Father's Day card for Dad (and for the record, it's really, really difficult to shoehorn phenomenal cosmic power into a Hallmark envelope) and a box of Godiva chocolates for Mom. And the great thing about my office being slightly warmer than Antarctica today is that now I can just leave the box on my desk in plain view so nobody will steal it and it won't melt from the heat. Of course, I can't guarantee that my earlobes won't drop off from advanced frostbite at the same time, but still.

Cute boys don't like me. *sighs*

Did the cute, scruffy guy with the nice smile and the pretty eyes ask me out today? No, of course not.

Did the dorky guy with the "W" sticker on his car who looks like a younger version of Doc Brown from Back to the Future ask me out today? Oh, yeah.

Excuse me while I grab the nearest boat oar and go beat the shit out of Cupid.

*grumbles* Miserable little arrow-shooting, diaper-wearing fuckstick ...

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So I called my dad before to check when he wanted me to meet them at the hotel tomorrow, and we have this charming exchange.

Me: "So, what are you doing tonight?"
Dad: "Oh, there's that movie theater down the street, and your mom wants to go see the new Batman movie."
Me: "Aw, maaaaan. I want to go see the new Batman movie!"
Dad: "You're just going to have to wait."
Me: "I know." *grumbles*
Dad: "Because you're at work and all."
Me: "I know." *grumbles more*
Dad: "You know, if you weren't at work, you could go."
Me: "... oh, quit rubbing it in."
Dad: *tries to snicker as quietly as possible*

Grrr. Anybody want an already-filled-out Father's Day with a Suncoast gift certificate in it? It helps if your name is Jennifer.