Oh, for fuck's sake.

Why am I starting off the day by watching a special on the History Channel about pizza? I can't HAVE any pizza. I've lost two pounds already (I think, my mom's scale is questionable) and I'm saving pizza for when I can fit into my size 8 jeans again.

Hmph. I need to go eat so I can start writing already.

Oh, and the cafe is having a drumming circle in a couple of weeks and I had to explain what one was to my mom. She ... still doesn't get it. Heh.

Hey, look what I finally made!

Heroine Addiction, chapters done:



Meaning I sat my ass down in the cafe with some chai, plotted out the rest of the book, and figured out how many chapters it'll take. And also confirmed my expectation that it'll probably end up being more like 120k. So even if I don't write anything else today (I will, I swear!), I've gotten that much done.

I came up to my parents' house because it's rainy and it's gross and I wasn't all that keen about staying in my apartment all day long, but my mother's watching the U.S. Open and I'm going to fall asleep if I keep watching this.

Oh, and you know how I woke up to a special on the History Channel about pizza? I came up here and my mom was making my favorite maple walnut cookies. Stupid diet that's actually working. The universe is taunting me. *grumbles*

This is the first woman on this show I genuinely hate.

So I'm watching Twins By Surprise, which is like I Didn't Know I Was Pregnant, except they obviously already know they're at least having the one baby.

Anyway, I never hate these ladies. I get the ones who have a surprise pregnancy, because it's just a convergence of circumstances -- heavyset moms, irregular periods, negative pregnancy tests, almost no symptoms or weight gain -- and then all of a sudden you're giving birth on a bathroom floor. Every pregnancy isn't textbook, for crying out loud. And as for the twins, one of these stories occurred prior to sonograms and the last two have to deal with home births.

This is where I have a problem.

Not in home births, obviously. If you don't want to go to the hospital and you have a midwife on hand to help out, more power to you. The first story of a home birth is a woman who had a midwife, a doula, and regular home check-ups up until the birth. Not surprising that they wouldn't know there's a baby.

But this idiot ... oh, I hate this idiot.

The first two kids she had were delivered in hospitals. Then she decided she hated hospitals. So she had her third baby at home, by herself. I've heard no mention of any genuine medical education -- she read up on the freaking INTERNET and did all of her prenatal care BY HERSELF. Then she has her twins at home, and they both turn out breech.

Look, I'm glad your kids turned out healthy, but you're a goddamn moron.

I hope this says nothing about my intelligence ...

... but I've had the sort of day where watching people faceplant on Wipeout is a perfect capper.

EDIT: YOU GUYS. YOU GUYS, YOU GUYS, YOU GUYS. 2012 TRAILER.

This is my THESIS, you guys.

SQUEALY EDIT: IS THAT THE YELLOWSTONE CALDERA I SEE GOING OFF AT ABOUT 00:52? IT SURE AS HELL LOOKS LIKE IT.