I am about to fail miserably.

So I called my mom and asked her how to make her (and before that, my grandmother's) famous chicken soup.

At which point I heard the infamous words, "Well, there's not really a recipe ..."

I, um, am not very good without a recipe. Especially when it comes to something like this. I mean, it's Mom's chicken soup. She already gave me the recipe for her apple pie and I spent the entire time I baked it feeling as though if I screwed up I might as well set myself on fire afterward.

I don't want to screw up Mom's chicken soup, damn it. It's the best thing EVER. Anyone who screws it up should be shot. I say this as the person that will be the one shooting them.

WINNER.

I can make my mom's chicken soup! \o/

I was going to wait until later today and make it for lunch or dinner, but I got up at something like 6:30 and was like, "Fuck it, I'm up and I want real goddamn soup."

And then I made real goddamn soup! Which tasted almost exactly like it's supposed to! And the only thing I screwed up was not cooking the veggies a bit longer, but that was mostly because once I realized that I've gotten how to make it down in my head now I did a little happy dance in my kitchen and was all, "SOUP! WANT SOUP NOW!"

I almost had a second bowl but I didn't want to run out of soup.

... says the woman whose first batch could quite easily last her an entire week of breakfasts, lunches and dinners. Heh.

(Next up: Maple walnut scones. Mmm, maple. :D)

That's just not right.

The last few texts between me and my brother:

Me: "I can make Mom's chicken soup! \o/\"
Bryan: "Ashton Kutcher is replacing Charlie Sheen on Two And A Half Men."
Me: "... there's a joke about a mix-up between tiger blood and cougar blood in there somewhere."

EDIT: To be fair, I should add that when I say "in there," I mean that the joke is juuuuuuust tacky and sexist enough to warrant three precisely-timed seconds of canned laughter in next season's first episode.