BURN.

[apocalypsos]

Spotted on Not Always Right:

(Note: I’m waiting to board a delayed flight with one of Europe’s cheapest and largest airlines.)

Hostess: “Welcome to flight *** from Malmoe to Dublin. Those of you with seating numbers 1 through 35, please go to line one. Those of you with seating numbers 36 and up, please go to line two. If any of you are traveling with small children or checked in online, please go to the counter and you will be let on board before we start boarding the other passengers.”

(A group of businessmen, about 35-55 years old and in suits, walk to the counter and cut in front of a family with very young children.)

Hostess: “Well, I can see you didn’t check in online, so you’ll have to stand in line. The first line is for early seating numbers; the second line is for la–”

Businessman #1: “Oh, come on… can’t you make an exception? We’re already standing here and all.”

Businessman #2: “You only have to board us and we’re done!”

Hostess: “No, you’ll have to wait in turn, just like everyone else. The lines start over there.”

Businessman #2: “But I always get to board the plane first!”

Hostess: “You’re not a family with children and you didn’t check in over the internet, so you’ll have to stand in line.”

Businessman #2: *very angrily* “DO YOU KNOW WHO I AM?!”

Hostess: “No, but you can’t be that important if you’re traveling with us.”

Businessman #2: *quietly retreats to the back of the line with his buddies*

Comments

[eh-notsomuch.livejournal.com]

HA HA.

Which airline, so I may patronize them and subsidize this fantastic Hostess.

Just another tip: if you get to the point where you whip out the "Do you know who I am?!", you have lost.

[chris-walsh.livejournal.com]

Oh, if only the people who NEED that lesson could actually get it.

A friend of mine actually had that happen to her when she found herself, for her office job, having a phone conversation with Steven Seagal. She amusingly retaliated by acting like she didn't know who he was and consistently pronouncing his last name "Seagull."

[redfiona99.livejournal.com]

Most likely to be RyanAir, but they're not so good in many, many other ways.

[cmstephens.livejournal.com]

That line reminded me of a joke I'd read a long time ago, involving a ticket clerk who was in a similar situation. When the impatient businessman was told he would have to wait in line like everyone else, then asked if she knew who he was, she got on the public address mic and asked, "Ladies and gentlemen, we have someone here who does not know who he is. If you can help confirm his identity, please report to the ticket counter." Several people in line behind him chuckled, and as he sulked off, embarrassed, he turned back and told her, "Fuck you!" Her response: "I'm sorry, you'll have to wait in line for that, too."