How did I end up with so many icons relating to masturbation?

[apocalypsos]

So, yeah. A more in-depth reaction to last night's Top Chef premiere.

-- Mike Isabella needs to be hit by a truck. I know we've seen the female chefs complain over the years about how they've been treated in the kitchen for Cooking While Female, but hearing that shit out of one of the other contestants makes me want to be the one driving the truck. FFFFFFFFFFFUUUUUUCK YOU.

-- Aw, Ron's a big cuddle-bear, isn't he?

-- I have a total girlcrush on Preeti. It's definitely not for her cooking skills -- I don't get how you can be a chef and not know how to shuck oysters; that doesn't exactly sound like something THAT uncommon -- but I have a thing for Indian girls and the androgynous thing is hitting some button I didn't even know I had. Huh.

-- KEVIN! Kevin and his amazing beard won the first challenge! I hope he doesn't turn out to be a douche, because he seems really great so far and a talented chef as well.

-- I'd be more sorry to see Jennifer go if she'd appeared a bit more receptive to criticism. She just seemed like she wasn't listening to what the judges were saying about the seitan.

-- I'm so happy they realize how much everybody likes the relay race, but I kinda wish they would have saved it for a later show. I hope they do the taste test, too -- that's another one of my favorites.

-- BROTHERS. And they're cute and competitive and I'm pretty sure that at some time this season I will shout at the screen, "Oh, just throw him against the nearest wall and FUCK him already!" 'Cause, yeah, they're already giving off that vibe and they've had maybe ten minutes of air time.

-- Padma didn't sound stoned! Somebody on the TWoP forums (I think it was) said as much and I was like, "THAT was what was different!"

-- Also, Wolfgang Puck needs to come back often.

-- I can't really tell most of the female contestants apart yet. Outside of Robin, Preeti, Jesse, and the Jennifers, my mind kept drawing blanks. The guys are so much easier -- brothers, asshole, gay guy, beard, Hector, French cutie, cuddly Ron, and .... I think there's only one or two other guys I'm forgetting.

Comments

[liz-w.livejournal.com]

Wasn't the issue that Preeti DID know how to shuck oysters, but she didn't know how to open clams, and she was trying to open clams the way one would shuck oysters, which was a complete fail?

[apocalypsos.livejournal.com]

I thought it was clams she knew and they were shucking oysters. Eh, one or the other. They both seem to strike me as things you'd think you'd learn in cooking school.

[harmonyfb.livejournal.com]

And if you didn't know how, you'd speak up when they were divvying up jobs and say "I have no idea how to do that!"

[apocalypsos.livejournal.com]

Seriously. That was the one thing that bothered me about Preeti taking them, although the edit makes it look like maybe she got cut off before she could tell them.

On the other hand, it's the first episode and they're all surrounded by strangers (outside of the brothers, of course), so I usually give the chefs a little slack. Except for Mike I. That sort of behavior gets a smack, not slack.

[lothlorienbaby.livejournal.com]

Yeah, Mike needs to leave. Preferably in a humiliating way. I know there has to be at least one douche each season, but usually they are of the arrogant "I am the master of the universe!" variety and not the "Girls suck!" variety. I suppose it lends a certain credence to what the female contestants have been saying about how they are treated by male chefs, but I don't need to see it in action to believe it. This is a freaking reality show, not a microcosm of society!

[apocalypsos.livejournal.com]

I was already ready to lose it when he was all, "I can do better than her, she's a GIRL!" during the relay race, but then when Robin kept her immunity and turned down the quickfire and he was like, "She must not think her skills are good enough."

Oh, you know what? Fuck YOU, Mike. What kind of a MORON throws away immunity on this show for a 25% chance at 15k? Oh, YOU, I suppose. I guess it really isn't about winning the damn show and getting 100k, it's about tossing out an easy pass on the first episode and taking a chance at a fraction of that. Jackass.

[lothlorienbaby.livejournal.com]

And you know if she had given up her immunity and then lost the quickfire, Mike would have been like "only a girl would be so stupid as to give up her immunity when her skills are not that good."

[harmonyfb.livejournal.com]

Manly and I were discussing how the skill level on this group seems a little higher than in previous seasons, the 'omg, how do I open clams?' notwithstanding.

[apocalypsos.livejournal.com]

There were rumblings on the TWoP forums that they made sure they had a better skill set going this time around because last season they had people like Patrick, who was still in cooking school yet was seriously supposed to compete against people who'd had their own restaurants for years. Everybody this year seems a bit sharper.

[pandorablu.livejournal.com]

OMG listened to Mike's bullshit threw me into an uncontrollable rage last night. I've never wanted to reach through my TV screen and kill someone on a reality show SO BADLY. Normally when people are deuchebags, they're either the "lovable" kind, or the "eh, what can you do?" kind. But Mike? FLAMES. ON THE SIDE OF MY FACE. I'd run him over in the truck, BACK UP to make sure I hit him again, and them let him DIAF.

... wow that made me feel better.

But a hell yes to everything else. I can't wait to see what they do with the brothers especially.

[eisoj5]

I turned to my husband last night and said, "You know, I've never discovered I hated someone as quickly as I did this guy before." It took about thirty seconds to realize just how much I wanted him to FAIL HORRIBLY OMG. Yerk.

(And how much I wanted the "girl" to win after that, too.)