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apocalypsosI made a run up to my parents' house and ended up helping my mom swap out her spring/summer clothes for her fall/winter ones. Usually, this ends with my mom finding things in her closet and the attic that she doesn't want, and passing them onto me which, for the most part, I have no problem with. (She has a tendency to buy nice sneakers, wear them once or twice, and then pass them off to me six months later.)
Today, as I was standing at the bottom of the pull-down attic steps, my mom appeared at the top with a long-sleeved pink T-shirt with a large cursive J embroidered over the left breast. "Do you want this?" she asked.
"I don't know," I said. "Did I get the main role in an updated Laverne and Shirley?"
I took the shirt anyway. I can wear it ironically. Around the house. At night, with all the lights off, where no one can see me.
(Apparently it was a gift from my grandmother who, rather than giving it to her daughter-in-law in a silly ironic gag-gift sort of way, is more likely to have given it to her in a completely-out-of-touch-with-our-likes-and-dislikes sort of way.)
My mom and I also talked about the new job.
Mom: "The Salvation Army is a Christian organization, you know."
Me: "Yes, I know. Boy, I hope they don't see my pentagram tattoo, huh?"
Mom: "I'm just saying that you might want to ..."
Me: "I'm not going to be offensive, but I'm not going to lie. If they ask me if I'm a Christian, I'm just going to say --"
Mom: "Just tell them you were baptized."
Me: "Yes, and then I got confirmed, and then I stopped going because I thought the Bible was nonsense, no one seemed to give a shit about behaving in a Christ-like manner towards their fellow man anymore, and I didn't want to be a part of something I saw in large part as being too fixated on promoting sexism, racism, intolerance of other religions and homophobia."
Mom: *makes grumbling noises under her breath*
Me: "I swear to God I'm not going to say that to actual co-workers."
Mom: *still grumbling*
Although if they ask, I'll freely admit to being an atheist. I have to say, I do find it relaxing that my parents don't give a damn they raised two kids, got them baptized, sent them to catechism classes, got them confirmed, and ended up with an atheist and an agnostic out of the deal.
Today, as I was standing at the bottom of the pull-down attic steps, my mom appeared at the top with a long-sleeved pink T-shirt with a large cursive J embroidered over the left breast. "Do you want this?" she asked.
"I don't know," I said. "Did I get the main role in an updated Laverne and Shirley?"
I took the shirt anyway. I can wear it ironically. Around the house. At night, with all the lights off, where no one can see me.
(Apparently it was a gift from my grandmother who, rather than giving it to her daughter-in-law in a silly ironic gag-gift sort of way, is more likely to have given it to her in a completely-out-of-touch-with-our-likes-and-dislikes sort of way.)
My mom and I also talked about the new job.
Mom: "The Salvation Army is a Christian organization, you know."
Me: "Yes, I know. Boy, I hope they don't see my pentagram tattoo, huh?"
Mom: "I'm just saying that you might want to ..."
Me: "I'm not going to be offensive, but I'm not going to lie. If they ask me if I'm a Christian, I'm just going to say --"
Mom: "Just tell them you were baptized."
Me: "Yes, and then I got confirmed, and then I stopped going because I thought the Bible was nonsense, no one seemed to give a shit about behaving in a Christ-like manner towards their fellow man anymore, and I didn't want to be a part of something I saw in large part as being too fixated on promoting sexism, racism, intolerance of other religions and homophobia."
Mom: *makes grumbling noises under her breath*
Me: "I swear to God I'm not going to say that to actual co-workers."
Mom: *still grumbling*
Although if they ask, I'll freely admit to being an atheist. I have to say, I do find it relaxing that my parents don't give a damn they raised two kids, got them baptized, sent them to catechism classes, got them confirmed, and ended up with an atheist and an agnostic out of the deal.
