You know what I love?

[apocalypsos]

Being woken up at seven o'clock in the morning by jackhammers and ten loudmouthed racist idiots breaking up the sidewalk in front of my apartment. That's my favorite.

*glares out the window*

Last night when I worked at Wegmans they had me stocking the health food section, which I loved if only because I spent the last two hours stocking by myself and no one bothered me. I was having that sort of a day, seriously. I spent the entire day on my day job on the phones due to the system shutting down for two hours and the phone lines backing up, and I got yelled at twice by customers for things anyone with half a brain could figure out a phone jockey has NOTHING to do with.

Also, still no writing. Lots of planning, but no writing. Last night at Wegmans I think my brain was a little fried, because I decided I should write an urban fantasy parody series where the first book would be called A Lousy Pun About Death, Or Possibly The Weather, and the second book would be called, A Verb In The Past Tense Which Sums Up The Plot, Sort Of, and the third book would be called The Lead Character And The Illustrious MacGuffin. And every cover would feature someone randomly standing with their bare back to the reader, displaying a prominent tattoo and holding a weapon in one hand, but instead of a hot white woman in her mid-twenties to mid-thirties, it'd be your grandmother or Santa or a bear walking on its hind legs or something.

Comments

[cjmarlowe.livejournal.com]

For the record, I would read the SHIT out of those. :D

[jrho.livejournal.com]

I would totally buy those books.

[chris-walsh.livejournal.com]

THANK YOU for that last paragraph. May I share it with greygirlbeast? She'd likely appreciate it.

[theliel.livejournal.com]

I can see the cover of a shaved angry looking polar bear with a crappy tatoo where the fur used to be holding up an arm still holding a tatoo needle.

i suppor this plan. your newsletter let me subscribe to it.

[hamadryad.livejournal.com]

Whatever you do, don't start an epic fantasy series. Every title would be Noun of Noun2, Noun of the Noun2 or Noun-suffix. Or to be more specific, I guess it would be Object of Emotion, Object of The Place or Adherents to a Certain Code.

[anonymous_sibyl]

If I could gift you with time I would totally have you write those books and design those covers.

[treelines.livejournal.com]

Well, that would grab and hold my attention in the bookstore, at least.

[lovedbythesun.livejournal.com]

I would buy the fuck out of those books.

[honorh.livejournal.com]

I so very much agree with the others--if I were to see those books in a bookstore, I would be physically incapable of walking past them.

[reneekytokorpi.livejournal.com]

Haha! Yes. If I ever am published there will be NO bare backed women on the cover. No sexy poses with the face obscured. No clothing that isn't practical. Also, my main chara is almost forty so yeah... doesn't fit. Don't care if it's the genre... doesn't fit.

Also, I may demand bright colors. Getting sick of the washed out covers!

[wtfbrain.livejournal.com]

I would read those books liek woh.

[raisedbymoogles.livejournal.com]

I do believe you've stumbled on a jackpot there!

[xzombiexkittenx.livejournal.com]

I would read those. I would read those in a heartbeat.

[jamjar.livejournal.com]

[lots42.livejournal.com]

Except for the yanno, bending, I'd love a stocking job. And I would so totally buy ' A Lousy Pun About Death, Or Possibly The Weather'

[lots42.livejournal.com]

The Ranking Position of the Undeseriable Happening.

The Animal Name Plus Weapon.

[lots42.livejournal.com]

Heck, I'd be happy with a cover that doesn't completely contradict what happens inside.

If it's two barbarians ripping a hatch off a tank, that -better- happen inside.

[deepbluemermaid.livejournal.com]

Ouch, I hear you on the unpleasant wake-up method. My building was painted last summer. I had guys chatting loudly as my wake-up call, cigarette smoke drifting in even though the windows were closed, and hard rock radio blaring outside while I was trying to write. No fun at all.

Also: may I please metaquote all or part of the last paragraph?

[apocalypsos.livejournal.com]

This almost beat the time I was woken up at seven a.m. on a Sunday by a guy on a ladder not three feet outside my bedroom window chainsawing the tree that used to stand in front of my building. Almost.

Also ... heh, sure, go right ahead. :)

[last-archangel.livejournal.com]

I would love that series. Just saying.

[soundingsea.livejournal.com]

Those books sound hella-fun.

[simonejester.livejournal.com]

Here via metaquotes. Adding my voice to the chorus of dude I'd totally read thats. :)